Forgive the ridiculous title. I’m sorry! I have like 36,000 calories in me, caffeine rocketing around the guts like lightning! Viva America’s True Religious Holiday: Super Bowl Sunday! Anyways — holy fuck at this trailer. A truly gluttonous trailer for a truly gluttonous occasion. Too much awesome. Too many ridiculous moments. In a trailer.

I’m too excited for this movie.

Read the rest of this entry »

Another teaser for a Super Bowl trailer has dropped. Go figure! A teaser for a trailer. Go figure! It’s for a comic book movie. Needless snark aside may I just say — oh god I have an erection. An erection for fighting sleeper agent threats, dudes with flying backpacks, Chris Evans, and more.

Hit the jump for the teaser trailer…teaser.

Read the rest of this entry »

Well then! Winter Soldier ain’t dropped yet, but commerce and media production don’t balk at such things! The churn must churn, lest it not be…churning? Oh whatever. The minds behind Winter Soldier are coming back for Captain ‘Murica Round 3. And while I haven’t seen their first offering, if the trailers are any indication it’s going to blast the hair off my asshole with glee.

Read the rest of this entry »

Now listen. Ed Brubaker is the skilled fucking craftsman behind the story of the upcoming Cap Guy: Winter Baddie. The writer is responsible for penning the excellent comics that shall be officially transmuted into cinematic form come this April. So may he be a little biased in his evaluation of the movie? Sure! Or you could say he may be exceptionally critical, since it is his baby that they’re adapting.

Read the rest of this entry »

New Captain America: The Winter Soldier images show the sprawling brawling wonder-land that the feature film shall be. Real talk? I just fucking woke up. So just have these images while I begin compiling my Caffeine Dossier in my tummy. Okay? You fucks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Cap 2: Bucky Is Back, Butt Hurt, and Brainwashed is going to be awesome. The trailer that ran before Thor 2: Seriously You’re Trusting Loki in IMAX was fucking fantastic. The Winter Soldier himself looks awesome. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t find his comparison to Grumpy Cat a bit amusing.

Hit the jump for more grump.

Read the rest of this entry »

More Peggy Carter, more Peggy Carter! Marvel is planning on dropping more one-shots starring the wonderful bad ass, ass kicker. Kicking ass. And stuff. Eh, whatever. Take it away, Keyboard Cat!

Read the rest of this entry »

Now that Patrick Bateman and Rendar Frankenstein have returned from squatchin’ in the Great White North, the Three Omega Idiots decide to tackle the San Diego Comic Convention Thing. Plus! Taking gnarly dumps, maybe two functioning microphones, how much better Thor is than The Flash, and cheap plugs of shitty t-shirts.

Read the rest of this entry »

I know this news article should be about how the people behind Captain America: Unthaw Bucky and Let Him Fuck Stuff Up are coming close to casting the female lead. I know it. On an intellectual level. But all I want to do is talk about how excited I am that I’m going to get to rub at my jeans while Black Widow prances across the screen during the flick. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not.

Read the rest of this entry »