China is sending a solar probe in 2022 to study the Sun. Crack Sol’s secrets, fellas!

china solar probe

China’s got itself a solar mission, motherfuckers! They’re sending a solar probe next year in order to study the Sun. Specifically, dudes are interested in such things like solar storms and shit. Hell yeah!

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Watch: NASA’s time-lapse of Mercury’s transit across the Sun

Space Swoon: The International Space Station Passes By The Sun


Solar Storm.

It’s only a matter of time before the sun deploys a gnarly solar storm that knocks down our electrical grids. Fries our cell phones. Reduces us to chimps with boner pills and botox. Said time was almost two years ago, but we got lucky like a mofuckah’.

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NASA spots huge hole near SUN’S NORTH POLE. Size of 50 Earths. LOL.

Gnarly. And huge. And gnarly.

Here is some hump-day perspective. NASA has spotted a rip-roaring coronal hole on the Earth. This son of a bitch is large. We’re talking to the tune of 50 Earth’s placed side by side. Dios mio.

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The Sun Turns A Detached Prominence Into Art.

Enlarge. | Via.

You’re not hallucinating. Or maybe you are. Regardless, the above is a fucking stunning picture of the Sun. Taken by Alan Friedman, it features all sort of technological and photographic wizardy to pull off. While the genius works, us proles can clap our meaty hands.

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Video Of An Enormous Solar Flare Erupting On The Sun; Solar Splooge.

The Sun’s fucking cranky these days. We’re in an increased period of solar activity, and one benefit for geeks like me is that it’s giving us a plethora of sun ejaculation flicks to enjoy. I mean, I like ejaculation videos as-is, but now we’re taking them onto a scale the size of the solar system? I vote yes.

The latest solar flare to rock our socks off occurred on February 24.

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See The Sun Vent Excess Gas Through Two Gaping Holes. Awesome.

Enlarge. | Via.

Next time I let one fly out of my cornhole and people give me guff, I’ve got the Sun on my side. NASA recently took a picture of the Sun, looking rather compromised with two gaping holes in it. These gaping holes? They’re called coronal holes, and they open up to release excess gas.

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The Sun Barfs Plasma At 2.2 Million Miles Per Hour. So Ridonkulous(ly Awesome.)

You guys want to talk about impressive projectile vomiting? Yeah? Take that shit up with the Sun, our maker, who is doing it as far more impressive speeds than anyone else.


After nearly a decade of quiet, the Sun is waking up in a big way, and this picture from August 1 shows the most dramatic eruption yet, including a solar flare, a “solar tsunami,” shifting magnetism, shaken corona, and more.

The eruption sent several billion tons of charged particles hurtling towards Earth at 2.2 million miles per hour, or about 1,000 kilometers per second. Fortunately, the effects of the eruption are harmless, even positive, as the eruption’s interaction with Earth’s magnetic field created amazing aurora displays over the northern regions of North America and Europe. This particular solar flare falls in the moderate C-class category. Still, it is possible more severe solar flares will follow, which could disrupt our tech infrastructure both in space (such as satellites) and back here on Earth.

How ridiculous is that? The Sun has a nasty stomach ache, and god damn its letting our solar system know.