This is fucking choice, my dudes. Not only is Netflix dropping a new martial arts television series, but it’s going to feature the star of The Raid.
The Raid is getting remade by Joe Carnahan, and it’s starring Frank Grillo. I’m stoked by this news, as I’m a fan of the actor smashing skulls. Looking gruff and sexy. Smashing more skulls.
Gareth Evans’ Raid flicks are fucking phenomenal. Glorious white-knuckle strikes to your genitals, and you thank him for them. Evans’ next flick is going to be Apostle, starring Dan Stevens. Apparently dude was in Downtown Abigail, but more importantly he fucking ruled in The Guest.
Iko Uwais, total ass-whupping extraordinaire of The Raid is back with his next movie. Headshot. I’m down.
Star Trek Beyond has gained itself a certifiable bad ass. Joe Taslim, who has mollywhopped motherfuckers in Fast 6 and The Raid, is going boldly into space. But hopefully bringing the head kicks and shit.
LISTEN. At least I ain’t like one of them-there Movie Sites making money off of non-news, trying to dress my post up as anything other than me frantically tugging my fanboy force-phallus. Okay? Three actors from The Raid are in The Force Awakens and no one knows what the fuck they’re doing in the movie. Some speculate they are choreographing an action sequence. CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE?
Well, this trailer came out of nowhere for me. It’s got some seriously appreciable elements. Salma Hayek. Shoulder-mounted rockets. Salma Hayek killing tons of yakuza. Said yakuza hanging out in their underwear. Yep.
Does The Raid need a remake? Absolutely fucking not. Will I Hate-See it? Absolutely fucking yes. Do I think the casting of Frank Grillo is s step in the right direction on an ultimately doomed and lamentable project? Sure!
Last year’s brutal action flick The Raid was excellent for a variety of reasons. However, for my dollars-to-Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, what was particularly excellent was the sparsity of its plot. There was no pretense about what the movie was. Thy just wound-up the macguffin and let people break each other’s skulls for two hours. Now we have news about the sequel to the movie, and it is taking place right after the conclusion of the original. Here is hoping that it continues the simple premise, “here are some enemies, punch them.”
I’m not playing around with silly accents, half-assed attempts at comedy and protracted self-deprecation this week. Hell no: I’m injecting this fact-stream straight into your cerebral cortex, just like you were Motoko Kusanagi. We’re all in the machine now and you need a games news hyperderm. I’m gonna give it to ya.