Steven Spielberg is directing ‘Blackhawk’ for DC and this would have been exciting 15 years ago

steven spielberg blackhawk dc comics

My brother calls Steve Spielberg a “creative coward” these days. I won’t go that far, but I have been generally bored with him for the past decade. So, this news doesn’t move the needle for me. I mean, he ain’t Jaws Spielberg anymore. He’s CGI diarrhea Ready Player One Spielberg. Who knows, maybe he stuns the hair off the my tits with this effort. One can hope.

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Apple is bringing back Steven Spielberg’s ‘Amazing Stories’ because nothing ever ends

apple steven spielberg amazing stories

Apparently noted obvious alien and member of the Illuminati Steven Spielberg had a series in the 1980s titled Amazing Stories. This series is being resurrected by The Alien, Bryan Fuller, and Apple. I don’t really have anything else to offer about this development. Cool? Feels significant, but I also don’t give a fuck.

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‘Ready Player One’ Trailer: The Saccharine Novel Seems Surprisingly Dystopic In Its Adaptation

First trailer for Ready Player One is here! And! It’s…okay? Maybe it was my own reading of RPO, or maybe it’s just an early trailer, but the first look at the movie casts Cline’s source material in a far more dystopic, gritty light than I pictured when reading the novel. I definitely pictured a more bubbly, 1980s, Hughes-esque vibe. You know, a coming-of-age-with-positivity-despite-staggering-adversity type world.

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‘Ready Player One’ gets first official image from Spielberg’s adaptation

ready player one first image

RPO, a shameless masturbation of 1980s and early 90s culture, and fusillade of fan service, is getting a movie adaptation. It’s coming courtesy of Steven Spielberg, and if you’re wondering how the book is going to translate, here’s your first look.

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‘Indiana Jones 5’ Officially Happening, Arriving In 2019

indiana jones 5 happening 2019

Indiana Jones And The Struggles Of Being A Calcium-Deficient Bad Ass is happening, folks. And it’s coming in 2019.

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‘Stranger Things’ Trailer: Netflix Series brings that Spielberg-King Vibe

This, this looks dope. I think I remember posting about Ryder being cast in a Netflix series a hot minute ago, but it was lost in the perpetual deluge of fecaltainment news I ingest. The trailer for the forgotten series has arrived, though, and it’s all sorts of masturbatory 1980s mystery. You know. Some Stephen King. Some Steven Spielberg. I’m sold though. I’m sold. You?

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Disney’s ‘The BFG’ Trailer: Welcome To Giant Country

Simon Pegg joining ‘Ready Player One’ adaptation

Simon Pegg

Simon Pegg is joining what is already the considerably talented cast of Spielberg’s Ready Player One adaptation.

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Ford and Spielberg returning to ‘Indiana Jones’ for 2019 film

Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones is back on, folks. Ford. Spielberg. New movie. 2019.

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Steven Spielberg working on a project that is *only* for virtual reality

Steven Spielberg.

I suppose this is it, folks. The big virtual reality push. In a couple of years, we’re all going to be looking back at this moment. Wondering how anyone really thought it was going to take off. Or, ideally. We’ll be looking back at this moment as the catalyst for the technological progression that ended with me wearing a headset. Covered in teledildonic devices. Using my haptic gloves to stroke a furry with a priapism half a world a way.

I truthfully wouldn’t be surprised by either of these developments. But I’m hoping for the latter.

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