‘Star Wars’ Standalone Non-News: Chris Weitz now writing the movie


Chris Weitz is now in charge of writing the Star Wars standalone. This is after Gary Whitta‘s (planned, maybe) departure a couple of weeks ago. Weitz is known for movies. About A BoyThe Golden Compass, and other things. Hey okay whatever!

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Syngery: ‘Star Wars Battlefront’ dropping late 2015


Electronic (Dark, Satanic) Arts has announced that Star Wars Battlefront ain’t dropping until late next year. Which isn’t surprising to any dick-lord who remembers that Episode VII ain’t arriving until December of 2015. So like, you know. Synergy. Cross-medium mutual-product masturbation. Or something. I don’t know. It’s late, and the thirteen Monsters in my bloodstream are beginning to bid adieu.

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No Sh*t Rumor: Obi-Wan getting standalone ‘Star Wars’ flick


In what is apparently a *rumor*, but what strikes me as *no fucking shit*, there’s murmurings that Obi-Wan is getting his own standalone movie. Like, this is obvious, right?

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‘Star Wars: Rebels’ Teaser: “Art Attack” — And show release date(s)!

Art Attack

I promised myself I wouldn’t fucking tease release dates in headlines anymore, but Star Wars Rebels is a bit more complicated than usual. It’s debuting across a fucking application,  a website, and a TV station. All on different dates! So sorry, yo. Ain’t like the extra click is getting me any money. (Ain’t like anything is getting me any money.)

But deets and a pretty awesome Star Wars: Rebels short after the break.

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‘Episode VIII’ News: Rian Johnson sort of spits about the next flick

Rian Johnson

Yeah! Fucking straight to the throat! I’m not just falling into self-parody with my Star Wars coverage, I’m falling into self-parody with a fucking Jar Jar Binks fleshlight stuck to my schlong. Rian Johnson recently opened up/didn’t really open up at all about his progress with Episode VIII, and I’m eating it up like the shameless glutton I am.

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Marvel dropping three new ‘Star Wars’ comics starting next year

Star Wars!

Starting next year, Marvel is bringing three Star Wars comics into existence. Gimme! Gimme. Gimme. They all sound goddamn neato, but I’m particularly sprung over the titular Star Wars comic. I mean, Jason Aaron and John Cassaday wielding the Force? Sweet baby Jesus.

Details and covers after the jump.

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‘Episode VII’ News: Christina Chong has been cast in the galaxy far, far away

Christina Chong.

All-diversity-everything these days on the Episode VII set. News has Christina Chong (who/whom/whatever/ I’m not familiar with) joining the cast in an unspecified role. Which pretty much describes the role of every single member of the cast outside of the OT-OG folks returning.

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Confirmed: ‘Episode VII’ filming IMAX sequences

Episode VII.

It’s been confirmed! There are going to be some giant fucking star fields in Episode VII.

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‘EPISODE VII’ on schedule despite Ford’s injury, has cast two new roles

star wars

Double scoop of Episode VII news on this Sunday. First off: the flick is on schedule! Despite General Solo’s injury! Go figure. I’m sure after Disney Corporate deployed the Robo-Ninjas with their Death-Laced Scythes, all of a sudden Abrams felt he could make the December 2018 deadline. Second off: the flick has added two more members to its already impressive cast.

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RIAN JOHNSON writing and directing ‘EPISODE VIII’, writing ‘Episode IX’ treatment

Rian Johnson

Of course huge Star Wars news drops while I’m on my way to a wedding. And away from my computer for an entire day. Of course.

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