What a fucking headline, no? But like, you know how it goes. The price of progress is failure, and it appears SpaceX has failed enough for the moment. ‘Cause they finally landed their Starship rocket without it fucking exploding everywhere.
China’s Tianwen-1 has successfully entered orbit around Mars, motherfuckers! As I always say: I know China is problematic as fuck. But if we’re only rooting for space missions tethered to non-problematic countries or companies, we’re never going to be rooting. So fuck yes. I’m stoked.
SpaceX has successfully returned NASA astronauts to Earth, completing first Crew Dragon passenger flight!
Friends! Friends. Today, SpaceX successfully returned NASA astronauts to Earth! Fuck yes! It’s true, Elon Musk fucking sucks. I know this! I know this. But, there’s a lot of other talented rad folk at SpaceX, and I’m glad they’re crushing it.
China ain’t fucking around with the Moon, friends. They’re angling to get their asses established up there as soon as possible. What does this mean? Hopefully, it’ll light a fire under everyone else.
Feeling blue? Humanity got you down? Well, check this shit out. NASA announced that Voyager 2 has entered interstellar space. In other words, we got two fucking probes that have left our solar system. If that doesn’t tickle your tits I don’t know what does.
Check it out! Here Cassini captures Saturn’s hexagon in all its glory.
ELON MUSK. Please, sir. Please. Before you link all of our brains up to computers, can you please get some of us off this fucking rock? You’re doing good work, and this whole launching and landing a used rocket makes me feel like fuck it you may be on to something. ELON MUSK. Please, sir. Please.
Researchers have discovered what appears to be two new Dark Moons. Lurking near Uranus. God is not without a sense of humor, it seems.
An AstronomerWizard and his team have crunched the numbers and figured out something fucking staggering. There are *at least* 10 times as many galaxies in the Universe than previous thought. Motherfucker, we’re talking 700 billion trillion stars.
Put the rest of Earth’s Alien hunters on notice, folks. China has turned on its alien-hunting telescope, and it is the world’s largest.