I know we’re supposed to be like: fucking sweet, scientists have mapped 20% of the ocean floor. However, man! That means there’s 80% still not mapped. What horrors and thrills lie below?!
Hey! Fuck it, right? The world is on fire. Might as well grow some fucking “mini-brains” using Neanderthal DNA. Let’s go for broke, friends.
Scientists have confirmed what they have suspected for forty-years. The motherfucking Martian atmosphere has a green glow. Hell yeah, my dudes.
Scientists have created an AI to figure out the structure of the Universe. Crack that code, robo-genius!
Scientists in Japan have created an AI to determine the structure of the Universe! And, other happy horseshit like unraveling the mysteries surrounding dark matter. Sounds rad as fuck! Go (not truly) AI, go!
Scientists place humans in “suspended animation” for the first time. The future is fucking wild, friends.
Well, shit is interesting. Scientists have placed humans into “suspended animation” for the first time. The future simply does not fuck around.
Scientists have found that some storms are so strong they shake the ocean floor. STORMQUAKES, my dudes!
Some storms? Them motherfuckers are so powerful that they shake the ocean floor. And, they have an equally bad ass name. Stormquakes! Hell yeah.
Ah, this is some wonderful post-humanism shit right here. I don’t know why we aren’t vat growing organs and appendages yet (I’m sure there are good reasons, I just don’t want to know them), but this is equally outstanding. Bionic eye time! Cyeah!