#February2021
Scientists have repaired injured spinal cord using patient’s own stem cells. Holy fucking future, friends!
How is this for a welcome blast in the ass from the Future? Scientists have repaired a patient’s spinal cord, using their own stem cells. The patients reported substantial improvements to key functions, just weeks after the cells were injected. Mamma mia, the fucking implications!
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Scientists have pulled off real-time communication with lucid dreamers. Reality is wild!
Holy fuck, dudes. Scientists have communicated in real-time with lucid dreamers. Let that statement rattle around your brain. Then, wrap said brain in tinfoil while you sleep. ‘Cause them fuckers are coming for your dreams.
Scientists want to build a giant telescope on the Moon to see into the Deep Past. I mean, fuck yes!
A giant telescope on the Moon? Intended to see into the Deep Past? Oh fuck yeah. My dudes, this is the astronomical shit I’m all about.
Scientists discover mysterious metal monolith in Utah. I’ve seen ‘2001’ and this shit is gonna be great
Ah, 2020. You just don’t fucking quit, man. I mean, seriously? Scientists have discovered a motherfucking mysterious metal monolith has been discovered in Utah. Like, you can’t make this shit up. But, I’m stoked. Time to get our asses to Jupiter.
Scientists have detected an unexplained glow in deep space. Don’t fuck with it, fellas!
On one hand, it’s pretty fucking cool that scientists have detected an unexplained glow. In the dark of deep space. On the other hand, you know, please don’t fuck with it.
Scientists have now mapped 20 percent of the ocean floor! Wait, that’s it? Creatures lurking!
I know we’re supposed to be like: fucking sweet, scientists have mapped 20% of the ocean floor. However, man! That means there’s 80% still not mapped. What horrors and thrills lie below?!
Scientists have grown “mini-brains” in petri dish using Neanderthal DNA. What could go wrong?
Hey! Fuck it, right? The world is on fire. Might as well grow some fucking “mini-brains” using Neanderthal DNA. Let’s go for broke, friends.
Scientists have detected a green glow in Mars atmosphere. The Red Planet impresses!
Scientists have confirmed what they have suspected for forty-years. The motherfucking Martian atmosphere has a green glow. Hell yeah, my dudes.
Scientists have created an AI to figure out the structure of the Universe. Crack that code, robo-genius!
Scientists in Japan have created an AI to determine the structure of the Universe! And, other happy horseshit like unraveling the mysteries surrounding dark matter. Sounds rad as fuck! Go (not truly) AI, go!
Scientists place humans in “suspended animation” for the first time. The future is fucking wild, friends.
Well, shit is interesting. Scientists have placed humans into “suspended animation” for the first time. The future simply does not fuck around.
