Monday Morning Commute: Worshipping The Gold-Plated Dragon

mmc worshipping

What’s up, my dudes? I know I’m tardy again with this column, but fucking take what you get! Are you the one writing it? Are you the one staring blankly at the screen contemplating time, space, societal collapse, and booty? No! So, judge not. Or fucking judge, who gives a shit. Now we can get into this shit with my defensive posturing out of the way!

It’s hot as balls this week, and I’m both physically sweating due to the weather and existentially sweating due to my summer class starting next week. I fucking simply ain’t sweating teaching remotely once again, but I take solace in knowing it’s the final semester of it for me.

But I ain’t completely adrift in the muck-riddled malaise! Nah! Nope! I’m currently anticipating, enjoying, and furiously masturbating to. Just really cranking on it, dry style, blisters forming, as I foam at the mouth with bug-eyed intensity.

Anyways! This here is MMC but more like a WAC but what can you do!

Read the rest of this entry »

Monday Morning Commute: the glory of chasing the neon dusk

mmc - the glory of the dusk

As the season turns to Summer, the dusks get more and more glorious. Certainly, they’ll never achieve the neon-glow of a synthwave stroll down a tranquil highway. But we take what we can get in life, and the dusks we are afforded are pretty damn swell. These glorious late Spring dusks are just one of the things I’m enjoying right now, as I begin to kick off a short vacation this Thursday.

It ain’t all sunshine and rainbows for this dude, though. We got ourselves an all-hands-on-deck situation with the unexpected arrival of my Mother-in-Law, which sort of isn’t great on its own, but its doubly not great when Sam had planned to relax this week between jobs. But we take what we can get in life, and I got a lot of other stuff to distract me from this unfortunate turn of events.

So with that in mind, with arts-farts-and-distractions especially important this week, let’s hit the column!  Just bang it out. Enthusiastically, but with purpose and poise. This is Monday Morning Commute! Join my thick, hairy ass in the comments section with your own happenings this week!

Read the rest of this entry »

Monday Morning Commute: Godzilla Ain’t Got Shit On Kong

Listen, I can’t speak to the classic installments featuring both characters. I can’t! I simply can’t. However, I know that in the modern iterations, Godzilla ain’t got shit on Kong. Look at that gif! He don’t want that smoke. Guarantee dude runs away, like he spent the entirety of his last movie doing. And then? Dude will probably roll up, blast Kong with a cheap-ass nuclear reactor blast, and everyone will jizz. But pound for pound? Grit for grit? Kong’s a goddamn mauler and we must respect him as such. All of this is probably just an overly long way to introduce this column with the notion that, yes, I’m officially excited for this movie.

But that ain’t all, folks! Fucks! Nope. I’m stoked for a bunch of other shit this week, and I’ll let you know all about them below. That is, after all, the function of the weekly Monday Morning Commute. Then you’ll hit up the comments section with your own musing. It’s the tacit agreement we have, friends.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Ratchet & Clank’ PS4 Trailer: What Is Old Is New Is Glorious Again

Ratchet and Clank’s Developers Goes Multiplatform? Sony: Oh Fux!

Ratchet and Clankz

Insomniac Games, the dudes behind the Ratchet and Clank, Resistance, and Spyro are taking their dope-ass shit multiplatform.

via kotaku:

Insomniac Games, the studio behind Spyro the Dragon, Ratchet & Clank and Resistance, unveiled a deal this morning with Electronic Arts that will put their still unannounced, undated next franchise on the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. Under the agreement Insomniac will retain ownership of the intellectual property.”There have been a lot of great reasons to make games for the Playstation,” said Ted Price, founder and CEO of Insomniac Games. “We have a wonderful relationship with Sony and will continue to work with them on Playstation titles.

“While Insomniac Games’ growth as a developer has been steady, it hasn’t seen any big spikes, Price told Kotaku. Making a game for multiple systems means that the developer and its games will be able to reach a broader audience.”We never wanted to limit ourselves,” Price said. “People are inspired here by having the opportunity to try new things. (Playstation 3 shooter) Resistance was a chance to branch out and we will continue to look for those opportunities.

“The latest chance is bringing Insomniac Games’ upcoming, all-new franchise set in a new universe to the PS3 and Xbox 360. The title is currently in production at the company’s Burbank studio, but Price remained tight-lipped about what it was.

Interesting shit right there. Pretty much the only reason I own my PS3 is for the console-exclusive titles from these boys and Naughty Dog. So the fact that they’re taking their ball and uh, letting other people rub it, is big news. Last month Bungie told Microsoft they were going to dabble in some polygamy, and this month Sony is tots no longer going steady with Insomniac. THE WORLD OF EXCLUSIVES IS FALLING APART.