#February2016

‘Orphan Black’ Season 4 Trailer: Oh Right I Should Watch Season 3

Yeah. I can’t even watch this trailer, because I forgot to watch season three of the show. A show, which I had thought I really enjoyed. But then somehow forgot about.

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Netflix producing ‘Orphan Black’ writer’s time-travel movie

Orphan Black.

Orphan Black! Oh yeah! I completely forgot to watch the third season. ‘Cause I suck. But this lovely news that one of its writers, Tony Elliott, is creating a time-travel movie for Netflix has reminded me.

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Monday Morning Commute: Sisyphus’ Favorite Balloon

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Look at Matty Murdock. Holding a balloon. While he looks up to Hey-Zeus Cristos for guidance, he strikes me as a Sisyphean hero. His approach to life smacks of Rieux from The Plague. When Rieux is asked if he knows what it means to be a doctor during plague time he responds, “a never ending defeat.” Yet he dusts himself off, and carries on. Much like Matty. Much like all of us amidst the Pointless Expanse’s Grind. We are all Sisyphus. We must all hold balloons. And so to make this all fit into a dumb package: this is Monday Morning Commute. A list of the metaphorical balloons I shall be holding onto this week, begging them to lift me above the malaise.

Please share your own!

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Weekend Open Bar: The Shape Of Things To Come

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LIGHT YOUR HAIR ON FIRE AND SCARE YOUR LOVED ONES WITH POLEMICAL MUTTERINGS DENOUNCING THE ELDER GODS! It’s the only way to truly appreciate this column. With your heresy and their tears upon your soul! This is Weekend Open Bar! The weekly weekend column for us weakened weary existential wobblers. We gather around the bar, haphazardly hobbling up to stools. We share what we’re going to be doing across the next two days. Be it food we’re going to eat. Be it mind-enhancing chemicals we’re going to be ingesting. Be it loved ones we’re going to be spending time with. Whatever you’re up to! Share it! Whatever you’re thinking about! Spill it!

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‘Orphan Black’ Season 3 Trailer: More Clones, More Problems

Weekend Open Bar: Straight shots of the sterno!

straight

How is it that I only had three days of work this week, and I’m fucking staggered? Could it be the Omni-Pall that has encapsulated Massachusetts? Perhaps, perchance, probably. All I know is that it’s Friday and I’m ready to hit the Open Bar. Shove aside Rendar who is bartending, reach behind the counter, find the biggest, filthiest bottle of Mind Alteration, and take a rip.

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‘Orphan Black’ Season 3 Teaser: I Am Not Your Property

Yes okay so I’m not watching Orphan Black Season 3 teasers until I’m caught up. But you should!

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‘Star Wars’ Standalone Movie News: ‘Orphan Black’ star Tatiana Maslany lands lead

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I say goddamn, goddamn, goddamn! This is wonderful news.

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‘Star Wars’ Standalone Movie Casting: Tatiana Maslany, Rooney Mara, and Felicity Jones testing

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OH GOD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. We may get some Orphan Black in our Galaxy Far, Far Away. This is glorious.

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Multiple Clonegasms: ‘Orphan Black’ Season Three Teaser

Orphan Black

Am I being really vague pimping this Oprhan Black season three teaser? I am! ‘Cause I have two fucking episodes left in the second season. I’m a failure! But I’m just pretty jacked+pumped that a third season is arriving, so I’m sharing this shit. Enjoy it! Don’t spoil it!

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