NASA Finds Holes on the Moon Where Its Always a Nice Temperature. Insert Joke Here

nasa moon holes always nice temperature

NASA has found holes on the Moon where the temperature is always nice, baby! Gotta love them holes with pleasant temperatures. Am I right? Am I right?! I’ll see myself the fuck out.

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South Korean president vows to land on the Moon by 2030. Everybody getting their asses up there!

south korean president land on moon 2030

South Korea ain’t gonna be left behind, folks. No way. No how! Not in the space race. The leader of them motherfuckers have vowed that the country will land on the Moon by 2030. Goddamn! That ain’t far away. Time’s ticking, broski. I hope you all pull it off.

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China’s Moon Probe has begun its return trip to Earth. With rocks! Safe passage, little buddy.

china moon probe returns to earth

China’s Chang’e-5 probe has begun its return to Earth! This is a dope development. However, even more dope is the motherfucker is bringing with it some rocks from La Luna! Here’s hoping duder returns intact.

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A stolen chunk of Earth’s Moon may be orbiting Mars! Give it back, Red Planet!

asteroid trailing mars chunk of earth moon

If the science-wizards are to be believed, a “stolen” chunk of Earth’s moon is orbiting Mars as an asteroid. What a fucking odd cosmos, man. But, I love it.

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NASA announces that there’s water all over the Moon. That crusty old thing surprises!

nasa moon evidence of water

NASA has dropped their big announcement regarding the Moon. And? Turns out there’s evidence of water all over that motherfucker! Like, they’ve even detected water molecules on the surface.

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Saturn’s moon Titan is drifting away quicker than expected. Bro, don’t go!

saturn moon titan drifting quicker

Saturn’s moon Titan is getting the fuck out of here, friends. We knew it was drifting away from Saturn, but scientists have found the fucker leaving 100 times faster than previously thought.

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Japan is going to help NASA build a space station near the Moon for the Artemis Program. Fuck yeah, collaboration!

japan nasa space station moon

Japan and NASA are working together to build a motherfucking space station near the Moon. It’s part of NASA’s quest to get our asses to Mars, and return to the Moon. And, I’m stoked.

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NASA has unveiled the future spacesuits astronauts will wear to the Moon by 2024

nasa spacesuit 2024 moon

NASA has a mandate, folks. They need to get motherfuckers to the Moon by 2024. And perhaps obviously, a lot of shit is going into this. Including, but not limited to, spacesuits for the astronauts’ fleshbags. Spacesuits which the agency has given a look at.

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Astronomers have a found “deep structure” under Moon’s largest crater. We caught ya, Illuminati!

astronomers moon deep structure

Whelp, we’ve finally found the bastards’ moon base. You know, the Illuminati. How do I know? You see, astronomers have found a “deep structure” under the Moon’s largest crater. Can’t fool me.

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China has grown the FIRST PLANTS on the MOON, yo!

the moon china plants

China out here doing dope shit on the moon, folks. Not only were they first to land on the far side of the moon, but now they’re straight-up growing plants there.

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