Marvel finally released the Thor trailer. I think it’s fucking awesome. Epic viking and fantasy shit! Stupendous. I’m hoping that this movie can bring the wonder back to superhero flicks. At the very least, the trailer wins my loins’ approval. It’s two minutes of a sexy bearded dude swinging a hammer, fighting gods, and cuddling up to gorgeous Natalie Portman.

I’m sold. Hit the jump, watch the trailer, and then leave your impressions in the comments box.

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If the Thor movie is anything like this poster for it, we’re in good shape. Sometimes when browsing through the promotional material, Thor looks so fucking awesome and his outfit gets me fucking jacked. And then sometimes it looks plastic-y and something you buy at the Big Party.

They crank it out of the park for this poster. Sure it’s photoshopped to hell and everything, et cetera. It’s still swank.

Hit the jump for the full beast.

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Someone is going to a funeral! As Spider-Man begins shooting this week, the first set photos have dropped. Just what the fuck is going on here? Slashfilm speculates that Gwen is attending (spoilers, fools) the funeral of her father. Apparently Father Stacy   passes away in the comic books and implores Spidey to watch over Gwen. Guess he’s going to be pretty upset that its his webbing that snaps her damn neck in the funnies.

But also, why not Uncle Ben’s funeral? Who knows.

Hit the jump for the pictures.

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Hey! Is X-Men: First Class flying under your radar? Yeah, me too. I don’t think there’s going to be a middle ground with the flick. I appreciate the 1960’s vibe they’re taking, as well as the unique cast of characters. No Scott Summers? Ballsy. That said, the whole thing could backfire in an avalanche of suck.

Today some set photos dropped, featuring some impressive destruction and the inclusion of your favorite X-Vehicle.

Hit the jump for the crappy (in quality) pics. Yeah, I’m selling them hard.

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I’m excited about The Wolverine. While it isn’t the first thing you’d think of when you conjure up Darren Aronofsky, I’m stoked to see what he can bring to such a huge franchise. He’s got such a unique touch that my naive ass thinks he can bring his own feel to the typically typical huge tentpole movies. Hugh Jackson is totally feeling me.

Slashfilm via EW:

He’s a visionary. I’ve been trying to get Darren since X-Men 3, really. We’ve been talking about this and Wolverine for so long.

[cont]

…we had a meeting about three weeks ago, catching up as friends more than anything, and he just ran a few ideas by me and my eyes just lit up, because already I think this is like a whole new ballgame — just the ideas, the level of depth, and intelligence, and creativity. I think he’s been waiting so long to do a movie in this genre. When he found the script, he said this is it. It’s really exciting.

Jackman and Aronofsky teamed up for The Fountain. And while it’s my least favorite of his movies, it did enough to jerk off my ocular glands that I came out entertained. Let’s see what the duo came bring about in this flick. I mean, Christ, it can’t be worse than the first Wolverine movie.

Variant Covers. Sometimes it’s a love affair. Sometimes it’s an apathetic union. And sometimes its a ruthless hate fuck. Today is the latter. Pressed up against a deadline, I am inspired to do nothing. Refresh the same websites. Pound caffeine. Ignore my schoolwork. But I’m here, you’re here, and there are comics coming out tomorrow. Here’s the shit that may grease your underwear with excitement.

Per usual, hit the comments box with your pull list for tomorrow.

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Lady Mechanika #1
This new comic from Joe Benitez caught my eye when wandering through the various release lists for tomorrow’s loot. G’damn! Sometimes something sneaks up on you, and you want to kiss the gaping asshole of whatever force pushed you in its direction. I’m hoping this a dope find. A gorgeously illustrated steampunk release starring a vixen? Had me at vixen. But here, check out the plot description, “the tabloids dubbed her “LADY MECHANIKA”, the sole survivor of a psychotic serial killer’s three-year rampage through London. Found locked in an abandoned laboratory amidst countless corpses and body parts, with her own limbs amputated and replaced with mechanical components, her life began anew.”

C’mon! Tell me that isn’t worth at least a glance at the introduction. Sold.

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A Collection of Collections.
There’s a collection of collections coming out this week that caught my eye. ‘Tis the season and shit! Gift a comic book nerd you know with one of these bad boys. First up is the second collection of Jeff Lemire’s Sweet Tooth. As someone who is following this in trades, I’m excited to dive back into this series. Think The Road meets fantasy meets familiar tropes of responsibility for society’s future, et cetera. It’s one of my favorite releases of the past year or so.

Speaking of Jeff Lemire, his Superboy #2 is coming out, and if you read the first issue you understand: this title has promise. I don’t give a shit about Superboy, or Smallville for that matter. Or rather, I didn’t. Then Lemire stepped up. God, the dude has writing chops. Jealousy +500.

As well, tomorrow carries the first collection of James Stokoe’s Orc Stain. I can’t find this motherfucker at any comic book shop near me. Trust me, I’ve looked. As my local comic shop continues its depressing slide into bankruptcy, my comic book shop love has become polyamorous. So I’ve slutted around in my search. Now’s a chance to snag it all up and collected from my buddy, Mr. Amazon. I have a good feeling Stokoe is going to be someone we’re all going to be hearing a shitload from in the next couple of years. He’s talented, eccentric, off-kilter, and bizarre. Something of a kindred spirit for my demented brain.

Also last week hee did the world an enormous solid and released an entire unreleased comic book over on his website. Murderbullets. It’s fantastic, and I’m actually saddened I couldn’t spend money to support the effort.

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Come one, come all. My name is Caffeine Powered. I am a slave to the various fixtures of modern civilization. Certain chemicals, namely trimethylxanthine. I have my infofeeds jacked into my skull. If not physically yet, they are essentially there. I like paper-based products that feature images and words. A lot. In fact, they may be my favorite medium. Spandex, speculations on the gravity of possessing great powers, marveling at the universe, narrative structures out the ass. They’re all here, in comic books.

In fact, I love them so much that I (keyboard) pen a weekly column. In this column, I give you the run down on the comic books that I plan on buying. But!, but there’s a tweak of the column’s nipple this week. I’m not giving you an entire rundown. I gotta keep this shit fresh for myself. If I don’t, laziness sets in. The mind numbs. The voices, they no longer speak to me. This week, I’m pruning the entire list to the three comic books I absolutely have to buy. You will note, readers the following: my taste is poor. This is not indicative of the most important comic books of the week, nor the best ones.

It is up to you to hit the comments box if you’re so inclined, with the three comic books you’d recommend. Do it. I dare you.

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Baltimore: The Plague Ships #5
The tale of Lord Baltimore wraps up this week, and I’ll be sad to see it go. Mike Mignola, Chris Golden, and Ben Stenbeck have teamed up to give us fools a tight, light romp through a universe where World War I was interrupted by vampires and zombies. Yeah, I suppose that makes regular war’s horror seem mild at most, right? This fifth issue is the final, and I’m going to miss my monthly romp through the darkness with ole Peg Leg Baltimore and his busty female companion.

As I’ve blathered about previously in this column, there’s something to the simplicity of the storyline. There’s more than enough familiar tropes to crack open if you’re willing. Baltimore is a man plagued by a deep guilt at hurting a loved one, and sets about an errant quest to do the impossible – make it right. You can get into all the complexities of one’s desire to cleanse themselves of past sins. But if you’re like me? If you’re like me, you just want to see a guy stab vampires and wield a sweet ass bayonet. It works on a simple level. Kick up your feet after a long ass day and decompress to this comic.

If you like decompressing to rot and blood and pain and plague.

Like me.

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Vertigo Resurrected: Winter’s Edge #1
So what if DC killed off the Wildstorm universe and folded stalwart Vertigo characters like Swamp Thing and Death back into their primary universe? They are not entirely without their dope maneuvers. On the top of the list of good ideas? DC’s decision to launch Vertigo Resurrected. It’s a line of one-shots that is driven at giving new readers the ability to indulge in classic, rare, or unpublished tales but a collection of heavy, heavy talent. They kicked things of in Vertigo Resurrected #1

Winter’s Edge brings tales from Gaiman, Ennis, and Brian K. Vaughn. If that isn’t enough to sell you, the artwork is being provided by Dave Gibbons, Sean Phillips, and Paul fucking Pope. It seems impossible for me to pass on. I only got three titles this week? This has got to be one of them. A collection of works by a bevy of my favorite talents in the industry? Sold. Sold, sold, sold.

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This is Variant Covers. Keep your fucking fingers off the cover. Mind the spine, yo. The comic book column where I spit with vitriol, glee, and mostly confusion about the books dropping this week. Hit the comments section with derisive, witty, or contributory recommendations and comments.

Shazam.

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Thor: The Mighty Avenger #6
My friends, we have failed. As comic book reading collective, we have failed. Failed hard. Last weekend news leaked out that Thor: The Mighty Avenger was getting axed. This is nothing sort of a calamitous disregard for one of the most wondrous, beautiful mainstream titles hitting shelves. Canned, canned, canned. While other titles are hitting the shelves, depleted of quality, offering nothing new to existing mythos. I am significantly bummed out about this. Half of me wants to recommend nothing more than this title. A militant stance. But alas, there’s other worthwhile shit dropping, and that would be unfair to them.

But!, please, check this shit out tomorrow. The good news is that apparently they’ve been given the ability to wrap up the storyline by the final installment in January. You’re only six issues behind. It’ll cost you nothing more than something like twenty-four Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers. It’s a refreshing take on an existing origin. The dialogue is great, the artwork is gorgeous. Both of these creators, Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee will assuredly continue on doing dope work somewhere else.

But still. Hit this while you can.

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Elsewhere In the Marvel Universe:
Thankfully, I don’t think we’re failing in regard to following Hickman’s current work on the Fantastic Four. Tomorrow sees the release of Fantastic Four #585, which promises to work towards the conclusion of the “Three” storyline. I have a good idea that someone is going to die. I think maybe the storyline’s name gives that away. Hickman’s continues Reed Richard’s desire to solve everything while grounding it with a thunderous round of heart and humor. Last month when Ben Grimm got his one-week of humanity back, and went to see Alicia? I teared up. I know, fuck me.

Also dropping is Captain America #612 which follows Bucky as he goes on trial for his crimes as the Winter Soldier. While I like the story, and generally everything Brubaker does, I’m wondering how long he’s going to examine Bucky’s guilt over his past. Fair enough it’s been introspective to this point, and now he’s dealing with the public outrage regarding it. As I said, I still dig it. And finally, Invincible Iron Man #32 promises to be a slobberknocker, as Iron Man throws down with Detroit Steel. Fraction penned action scenes being realized by Salvador Larroca? I’m there.

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A pantheon of Marvel Vs Capcom 3 news continues to come out. It’s sort of a fucking pain in the ass. All I want to do is walk around from my computer, and leave the blogging behind for a few moments. Naw son! More shit of interest to spit about. So yeah, Capcom today announced that Marvel Vs Capcom 3 shall be dropping ashore on February 15, 2011. A day after Valentine’s Day. Innit that perfect? Gives you just enough of a buffer to neglect your loved one!

But I spent all of yesterday with you! Oh wait, that shit was last week? Well then. Still, stop complaining!

Capcom also announced today the deals of the swanky fucking collector’s edition that’ll be dropping the same day as the title.

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Thunder and lightning and gods seek revenge! This is the Covers Variant, your weekly destination to hear one comic book near blather. Blather incessantly about the titles he’s excited about picking up tomorrow. It’s a stacked week for me, as my diminishing insanity has increased my interest in the funny books tenfold. How else to escape from an army of due dates and end of the semester papers? Forwards! Backwards! Everywhere, through time.

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Northlanders #34
Brian Wood’s latest storyline wraps up this month in the conclusion of Metal. I’ll be sad to see it go. It’s been my go-to comic book every week that it’s come out. Kick back, crack the shit out of this one’s spine, and drift back into an age of Viking fury, axe wounds, and commentary on the power of faith. Fair thee well, Erik. You were a good dumb son of a bitch Viking, raging against the Christian machine. But I’m pretty sure you’re not going to make it out of this alive.

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Harlan Ellison’s Phoenix Without Ashes #4
The final issue of Harlan Ellison’s failed TV pilot turned graphic novel mindfuck comes out this week, and what a sweet embrace it shall be. It’s been a favorite comic of mine since it debuted, and the four issues have been taut and action packed. It isn’t so much that I lament the story ending because there is so much more to do with it, but rather out of an appreciate for the ride I’ve been taken on. Listen, it’s simple: science-fiction god is spinning a final tale that reeks of prescient tropes (he wrote this thing back in the day), and familiar narratives.

It’s easy to let this one slide past, particularly since it seems to have gone without being noticed by the Grand Hype Machine. Do yourself a solid and see a master explain through panel and pacing why he is a geek pillar.

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Batman Incorporated #1
Last week, without the majority of the comic book world noticing it, Grant Morrison turned Batman into a God. Literally.This week, Wayne undertakes the much more pedestrian task of turning Batman into a corporation. A globe trotting assemblage of Batmen and Batwomen, kicking ass and taking names as a collection of vigilantes. It stems off the recent reveal by Brucey not that he is Batman, but rather that he funds him.

Alright Morrison, I’ll give it to you, I’m intrigued. My main concern is how sustainable this storyline is; how long can a legion of Flying Rodents deal out justice before it comes crashing down around him. I’m a battered spouse, and I’ve been promised status quos being rearranged too many times to think something as drastic as this will persist. Maybe that’s just me.

Every week we’re promised something insane. This week it was the Death of Spider-Man, which will change the Ultimate universe forever! Yawn. Can’t trick me again. Actually, you can. I’m a sucker. Also dropping this week is nineteen other Batman titles, including Batman: The Return, a one-shot which will probably do nothing more than serve as table-setting for everything else in the Bat-universe.

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Superior #2
Mark Millar used to be a favorite writer of mine. These days, I find him far too obviously lusting for shock. We are not best friends any longer. That said, the first issue of Superior was decent to me, and I found that to be more than I could say for his other works, like Nemesis, Kick-Ass 2, or Ultimate Avengers. While it still served up the paste that used to be the trope of the Average Kid Desiring the Incredible that he’s beaten into paste, it dared to bring with it something that had been missing from his works: heart. Maybe I’m a sucker, but the starry-eyed kid with a disability getting the ability to be fantastic tugs on strings of empathy that bleed within my crusty dork heart.

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