#June2013

Friday Brew Review: Russian Imperial Stout

Russian Imperial Stout

Authoritarian regimes maintain power by cracking skulls and giving exactly zero fucks.

Remember that time Napoleon rewarded Boxer’s ceaseless efforts with a trip to the glue-factory? Or how about when Grand Moff Tarkin blew up an entire goddamn planet? And who could ever forget when the children of Panem murdered each other for entertainment?

The reason that all of this wonderful brutality occurred was because those in power didn’t have to justify their actions. Without checks and balances, these motherfuckers were able to do as these pleased, whatever the consequences. And although freedom fighters occasionally inspire resistance, there are still plenty of totalitarian forces at work today.

Even in the beer world.

Tonight I’m drinking a limited edition Russian Imperial Stout from the folks at Otter Creek Brewing. Having had my interest piqued by the Soviet-styled design on the label and box, I wanted to learn more about this stout. Hell, I even compiled a list of questions. But when I went to the brewery’s website, I was greeted by nothing more than an “under construction” declaration and the encouragement to visit the Otter Creek Facebook page.

Thanks but no thanks, Otter Creek! I haven’t been on Facebook in years, and I ain’t fallin’ for your ruse! It’s pretty obvious what’s goin’ on. The Otter Creek Elite wants me to join Facebook and “friend” them, and then they’ll monitor my beer-drinkin’ habits (via status updates and photo evidence) to target me more directly! Before I know it, Otter Creek shadow agents will be infiltrating the parties I throw, telling revelers about the newest promotions available from a beloved Middlebury, Vermont brewery.

Insidious.

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‘HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE’ Teaser Trailer: Can J-LAW burn away the source’s mediocrity?

CATCHING FIRE. OR SOMETHING.

Oh shiiiit, I fucking hate myself for that pun. As you read through Catching Fire, it quickly becomes clear that its author Suzanne Collins doesn’t really have much of a panache outside of her original (stolen, borrowed, remixed, whatever) conceit. So while it would be awesome if Jennifer Lawrence, the film’s mediocre director, and the entire rush job could transcend its source material, I ain’t fucking betting on it. None the less, here is the trailer.

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Zoe Aggeliki Totally In Talks To Play JOHANNA MASON In ‘CATCHING FIRE’.

Zoe Aggeliki may be an unknown quantity to people like me, but if this casting goes through she is about to go boom. That’s the sound of her blowing up. Yeah, groan, I know.

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Mia Wasikowska and Zoe Aggeliki Being Considered For Role Of Johanna Mason In ‘CATCHING FIRE’

I don’t know these two actresses, but they are being considered for a role in Hunger Games 2: More Hungry (For Your Money).

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‘TOMB RAIDER’ TRAILER: Steal ‘UNCHARTED’, Steal ‘HUNGER GAMES’, Cross Fingers.

Tomb Raider  is getting rebooted, and its makers are culling from burning pots of cultural gravitas. There ain’t much better a way of making Ms. Croft relevant again than by taking everything Uncharted  and smashing it as hard as you can into Hunger Games. Over and over and over again, until you have some misshaped though potentially entertaining monster.

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‘THE AVENGERS’ (Hulk) SMASHES All-Time Domestic Box Office Opening Weekend Gross. Hell Yeah.

Hellllllllll yeah. Avengers  has broken the all-time domestic box office opening, farting on all those that dared come before it. Big, green Hulkian farts, flinging witty quips of disparagement as it does so.

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The Avengers: You’re Going to See It. Now You’re Here to Understand Why You’re Going to See It.


The Avengers should be as necessary to you this weekend as breathing, if:

–  You saw and enjoyed the Marvel Universe films of the past five years — like Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.

– You read and enjoy superhero comic books.

– You have a fucking pulse.

If two of these things apply, you’ve probably already seen it.   If all three do, you saw it last night at midnight like the rest of us.

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Francis Lawrence Officially Directing ‘HUNGER GAMES’ Sequel. We Can All Lower Our Hopes Now.

Man, for a while I was amped. The list of potential directors for the Hunger Games  sequel was stacked and everything was looking glossy. Now that they’ve announced the director my world has turned grey. A pall has emerged. Eh, whatever. Second book ain’t that great anyways.

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The Most Highlighted KINDLE Passage Of All Time Is From…’HUNGER GAMES’

The most highlighted Kindle book passage of all time is from…Hunger Games. Yup. I’m not even going to be bitter. I’m not.

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Francis Lawrence Offered ‘HUNGER GAMES’ Sequel ‘CATCHING FIRE’, Odds Not In Our Favor.

Francis Lawrence is the directorial powerhouse behind Constantaine  and I Am Legend. With such remarkable feats such as those, it makes sense why Lionsgate would court him for Catching Fire.  

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