Bill Simmons has given the pop culture landscape a lot. I admit that, acknowledge it. And move on from it. ‘Cause he’s also the maestro of bloviating, crappy pop culture references, and other nonsense. So I don’t really give a fuck about him moving to HBO on a personal level, but it’s interesting as far as Pop Culture Developments go.
HBO is finally bringing a standalone HBO entity into the world! Provided, you know, you’re not mooching off of someone else’s HBO Go. Which is kinda like standalone because you’re not paying for shit. Just reaping all sorts of content. Muwahaha! (Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!) The only rub? Shit is exclusive to Apple devices and PC.
HBO is finally givin’ motherfuckers what they been clamoring for. Pleading for. Beating fists upon gravel and demanding. An internet-based HBO service that ain’t tied to a cable subscription.
Good guy HBO CEO. He’s totally, completely cool with us sharing our HBO Go passwords. What a solid bro! Realizing that Cable Companies are pigs, and we’re just strugglin’ to get by! Oh wait — he’s cool with it because we’re essentially creating addicts out of our fellow consumers. Oh, you sly son of a gun.
A few of us were bandying about on the site a couple of days ago about the possibility of HBO Go being released by the company as a stand-alone subscription service. That time still isn’t here. However, Comcast is inching towards that reality. Fighting the inevitable entropic loss to those who wish to evolve past the basic cable package with a sort-of conciliatory gesture.
Am I speaking for everyone when I say that all I really care about regarding this news is how it may or may not force HBO to offer up a detached, HBO Go-style service for us all? No, some of you don’t give a shit? Then uh — I’m totally enjoying watching the relative New Kid put the Old Dinosaur in a head lock. This is that portion of the story that I can get behind as well.
It is the great problem of our time. Everybody wants to watch Game of Thrones, and ain’t nobody wanting to pay for the television package that will grant it. The general response is to either download it, pay for the corpulent package, or borrow someone else’s HBO GO password. A more progressive solution would be for HBO to offer a standalone HBO Go service. This has seemed like a pipe dream, but HBO’s CEO has warmed to the idea. A little bit. A smidgen Let me dream.
And I was wondering why HBO GO was running like raw-ass melted over ill performance last weekend. There are allegations that Comcast is privileging bandwidth for its own Xfinity app over others on the Xbox 360.
Verizon and Redbox are combining their powers to create a monolithic entity to grapple with Netflix. Good luck, boys! Netflix may have taken an arrow to the knee, but I’d still proclaim them Chief Gamma-Irradiated Beast. What’s the titan they’re fearing the tussle with? HBO. HBO indeed, yo.
Driving to work this morning, I saw a BMW pulled over in the breakdown lane. Hazards flashing. Black smoke billowing out from under the hood. The middle-aged driver pulled himself through the open sunroof, stood upright as though he were First Man emerging from the primordial birth canal, shook his balled-up fist at the sky, and let loose a guttural wail that cut through the nonsense-talkers inside of my radio-box. His briefcase was launched onto a station wagon, in the process cracking its windshield and scaring the illegal immigrants riding inside. He then slipped, fell off of the roof, and got to his feet just in time to spit blood into my open passenger side window as I drove by.
In my rear view, I saw him whip out his dick while strangling himself with his tie.
As such, it’s my pleasure to welcome you to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where we share our panaceas for work-induced ennui and existential fatigue. After I show you the cocktail I’ll be using, hit up the comments section and show off your own self-medications.