Rogue One may be going where few have gone. In a while at least. Except for Quentin Tarantino. None the less! It may be going ultra widescreen, cinematic spectacle, and I’m fucking stoked.

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Man. Look at this fucking picture, yo. Gritty. Grimy. Dirty. Failed Future. A pack of filthy, degenerate bastards, and they’re the Rebellion’s best shot. Love it. If this picture is an accurate portrayal of what Gareth Edwards is going for, I’m picking up everything that he is putting down. And goddamn, the fucking cast! Sign me up.

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Well, fuck! I’m game for Star Wars: Rogue 1 adding anyone of talented inclination. So even though I’m like, “Wait, what did Aris do in Sherlock?” I’m comfortably sure he’s a competent lad. Right?

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Who is Diego Luna? This ignorant pig doesn’t know! But I will know sooner than later, given that he’s joined the cast to a fucking Star Wars movie.

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Here’s a preview for Star Wars: Rogue One. I’m very stoked that it is about stealing the plans for the first Death Star.

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I am most acquainted with Ben Mendelsohn as the fuckboy that Bane readily handles in The Dark Knight Rises. But the dude is a pretty rad actor in other stuff escaping my mind, and so I’m down with him being cast as the villain. As Rendar said to me, he has Imperial officer written all over him.

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Chris Weitz is now in charge of writing the Star Wars standalone. This is after Gary Whitta‘s (planned, maybe) departure a couple of weeks ago. Weitz is known for movies. About A Boy, The Golden Compass, and other things. Hey okay whatever!

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*DISNEY-LUCASFILM DARK CULT BRAINSTORMING SESSION* – “WHAT DO PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE IN STAR WARS?” “THEY FUCKING LOVE BOBA FETT” “FUCK YEAH! AND FUCKING HAN SOLO!!!” *ENTIRE ROOM HUFFS SOCKS FULL OF CRUSTED SHIT, MOANING AND RUBBING THEIR TITS* *IN UNISON* “WHAT IF WE MADE A MOVIE WITH FUCKING BOTH OF THEM?!!??!”

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OH GOD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. We may get some Orphan Black in our Galaxy Far, Far Away. This is glorious.

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How about a Star Wars flick that’s a heist movie? Well I say goddamn! Amazing. And I know. All Star Wars all the time around here. Listen, I’m sorry. Listen, just endure. I beg you. It won’t be like this always. But I have a tattoo of Salacious Crumb on my testicles and my middle name was legally changed to “Dag..Dagohbah…Daohgbahaha System?” because I liked Empire but couldn’t figure out the spelling. I was seven. So like this excitement and obsession is genetically encoded into me. This too shall pass. But until it does! FUCK.

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