#June2014
‘SONIC THE HEDGEHOG’ getting a MOVIE. Give Me Furry Brimping Or Else
Sonic The Hedgehog is getting itself into the movie game, courtesy of Sony Pictures People. My knee jerk reaction is to shit down the back of this news’ shirt, but the Lego Movie happened and now I hesitate to talk shit. About any property being optioned. (But this is going to suck, right?) Still though. Furry. Brimping. C’mon.
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E3 2014: ‘THE ORDER: 1886’ Trailer: Delayed Steampunk Swoon
I was pretty butt hurt when I first heard The Order: 1869-24-Numbers was getting delayed. Rubbing my dumper and muttering “Fucking DelayStation, yeha~~!” like the cool haters. But after watching this trailer last night, I’m all like. Oh. Shit. Take your time. This is looking wonderful. Rub it. Stroke it. To a glimmer. Nay, to a blinding sheen.
E3 2014: ‘STAR FOX’ flies again on the Wii U
…and like waves upon rock, my strength to wait on buying a Wii U is eroding in the face of all these Nintendo reveals. Zelda, Super Smash, and now Star Fox. Ya’ll fuckers, Nintendo.
E3 2014: Nintendo reveals Wii U ‘ZELDA’ game. Obvs coming in 2015.
I’ve been wanting a Wii U for a bit. Despite not selling particularly well, it’s amassed quite a sexy repertoire of first-party games. As seemingly all Nintendo systems as wont to do. Now it appears that I finally have a deadline for when I must acquire one by. Sort of. Nebulously. 2015. Why then? It’s when the new Zelda will be dropping.
E3 2014: ‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ dropping on PS4/XB1/PC
One of the worst kept secrets has now transmuted itself into one of the biggest “yeah no shit” announcements at E3. Rockstar games has revealed that Grand Theft Auto V is coming to the Personal Computer, as well as the PS4 and XB1. Which is neat for me, because I dun fucking goofed and didn’t get around to the title when it was released last year.
E3 2014: ‘HALO: THE MASTER CHIEF COLLECTION’ arriving in November
It’s a SURPRISE! That we knew about last month. Microsoft is releasing Halo: The Master Chief collection this November, giving fans of John-1117-SpartanGuy something to chew on until Halo 5: Guardians of A Different Galaxy. Plus! It features the buzz words of Gen8 or whatever: 1080p, 60 fps.
E3 2014: ‘Tomb Raider’ getting sequel, ‘RISE OF THE TOMB RAIDER’, dropping in 2015
Tomb Raider is getting itself a sequel, and goddamn I’m happy about it. Like a litany of other games want to play though, the sequel is coming in 2015. Goddamn, I’m not happy about that.
No duh: ‘TITANFALL 2’ being planned. Will drop on PS4, too.
In a move shocking EVERYONE, everyone!, there’s going to be a Titanfall 2. Go figure. Was a bit of an underground indie hit, but hey maybe there’s some credit there. Also shocking EVERYONE!, to the point where they were puking chunks of esophagus onto their keyboards in surprise, is that it won’t be an XB1 exclusive.
Oculus Rift-compatible CONTROL VR GLOVES let you get Johnny Mnemonical
Fuck yeah! How is a Console Cowboy supposed to surf the CyberScape without some gnarly VR gloves? And a body suit? Eh? Answer me that, Zuckerberg and Carmack! Ya Fucks! It’s totally killing the metaphor, man. Having to type and shit. Thankfully Control VR got our asses covered.
Dude selling WORLD’S LARGEST VIDEO GAME COLLECTION. Anyone got $800,000?
Michael Thomasson has a serious fuck load of video games. Like — way lots. And now the dude is selling the world’s largest gaming collection to provide for his family. Which makes me wonder out loud, why didn’t he just temper his obsession and provide for them on the go? Ah, whatever. Cause MATERIALISM, I suppose.
