Golly gee come down to the Space-Ship OMEGA! We’re having an Eschaton of fun here within the walls of the faithful tin can in digital orbit! But, friends, I must confess something. I think there’s a general paucity in the zeitgeist when it comes to really comprehending the situation on this globe, which is currently somewhere between a shit-covered molotov to the face of Western culture, and a dumpster filled with spiked light bulbs dropped on our cumulative balls.
Friends, the Final Fantasy VII Remake has been delayed. Which, you know, is so they can really “polish” the game. Or, you know, actually finish it. You gotta love Square and their inability to launch completed titles.
A new Final Fantasy VII trailer, friends! And, this title is definitely stretching the definition of “remake” if you ask me. The changes and additions are extensive. You didn’t ask me? Well, I’m fucking telling you anyways. The changes and additions are extensive. Ain’t saying that’s a good or bad thing. Time will tell. But, let’s stop pretending this is a remake as we usually understand them.
‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is going to take up two Blu-Ray discs. And that’s just the first installment, my dudes
After watching the FFVII Remake reveal, I still have no idea if I’m feeling it or not. Is the combat going to be fun? Or just splashy garbage? Is breaking it up into installments a good idea, or a cash grab? I don’t know, I don’t know. What I do know is that the first installment itself is going to be enormous.
Damn. Did not see this coming, fucking at all. The Final Fantasy VII Remake is dropping March 3, 2020.
Does this trailer for the Final Fantasy VII Remake look dope? You fucking bet! Am I excited? You fucking bet! Do I think the game will be good? Not yet! Square has been placed solely in the “Prove It To Me” category for now. I haven’t enjoyed a game of theirs since, what, 2006? But, I’m excited. Please, Square. Prove my skepticism unwarranted.
Square Enix has moved development of the Final Fantasy VII remake in-house. This development underscores, for me, the fact that I had no fucking clue it wasn’t being done in-house already. But, hey! I can’t wait to play this broken ass game on the PlayStation 6 Pro, in 2025. #EasyJokes
Well. I mean, there goes our trepidation about the FFVII being a piecemeal episodic adventure. Inserted, is our fear that Square will be mining the famous title for every last piece of material, in a Hobbit-esque nightmare extrapolation. Or, we could just be excited.
Hmm. Here is a bit of a wrinkle here, to the Final Fantasy VII Remake drama. Maybe you’re one of those people not upset with the changes to the combat system (hi! I like the changes!), and you’re feeling left out. You feel like you deserve something to huff and puff and fanboy fume about, too. Well, good news, fan looking for faux-outrage to glom onto. Square has announced that the FFVII:Remake is going to be “multi-part” — and I don’t know which of the next two options I hate more.