#June2019

‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is going to take up two Blu-Ray discs. And that’s just the first installment, my dudes

final fantasy vii remake two blu ray discs

After watching the FFVII Remake reveal, I still have no idea if I’m feeling it or not. Is the combat going to be fun? Or just splashy garbage? Is breaking it up into installments a good idea, or a cash grab? I don’t know, I don’t know. What I do know is that the first installment itself is going to be enormous.

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‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is dropping March 3, 2020. It’s really real, folks.

final fantasy vii remake march 2020

Damn. Did not see this coming, fucking at all. The Final Fantasy VII Remake is dropping March 3, 2020.

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‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ Trailer: Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself!

Does this trailer for the Final Fantasy VII Remake look dope? You fucking bet! Am I excited? You fucking bet! Do I think the game will be good? Not yet! Square has been placed solely in the “Prove It To Me” category for now. I haven’t enjoyed a game of theirs since, what, 2006? But, I’m excited. Please, Square. Prove my skepticism unwarranted.

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‘Final Fantasy VII’ remake now being done *in-house* at Square Enix, I didn’t know it hadn’t been

final fantasy vii remake in-house

Square Enix has moved development of the Final Fantasy VII remake in-house. This development underscores, for me, the fact that I had no fucking clue it wasn’t being done in-house already. But, hey! I can’t wait to play this broken ass game on the PlayStation 6 Pro, in 2025. #EasyJokes

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‘Final Fantasy VII’ Remake will be *Three* Full Sized Games

final fantasy vii

Well. I mean, there goes our trepidation about the FFVII being a piecemeal episodic adventure. Inserted, is our fear that Square will be mining the famous title for every last piece of material, in a Hobbit-esque nightmare extrapolation. Or, we could just be excited.

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‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is going to be “multi-part” series. So like, episodic? Wark?

Barrrretz

Hmm. Here is a bit of a wrinkle here, to the Final Fantasy VII Remake drama. Maybe you’re one of those people not upset with the changes to the combat system (hi! I like the changes!), and you’re feeling left out. You feel like you deserve something to huff and puff and fanboy fume about, too. Well, good news, fan looking for faux-outrage to glom onto. Square has announced that the FFVII:Remake is going to be “multi-part” — and I don’t know which of the next two options I hate more.

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‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ Gameplay Trailer: Don’t Tease Me, Bro

Ugh: ‘Final Fantasy VII’ remake bringing “dramatic changes” to its battle system

cloud

My initial excitement about an FFVII remake has given way to a stark reality. Namely that Square fucking sucks and they’ll find a way to ruin the remake. Because they fucking suck now and will change things.

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‘Final Fantasy VII’ Remake Announce Trailer: Oh My God

‘Final Fantasy VII’ coming to PS4! But! It ain’t a f**king remake

Final Fantasy VII.

Squaresoft-Enix-Eidos-Whateverthefuck straight trollin’ us now. The Company That Doesn’t Matter Anymore announced today that they’re bringing Final Fantasy VII to PS4. But it ain’t the remake we’ve been clamoring for over the past fifteen years. Just an upscale whateverashit port. Same one that has already dropped on Steam.

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