‘Fast and Furious 9’ is probably going to space, teases star Ludacris. This is the logical and fucking perfect continuation, dudes
F9 star Ludacris is teasing something big, my dudes. Specifically?The Fast and Furious franchise is going to space, friends. Fucking finally! The franchise, perhaps one of the greatest ever, has succeeded by continuously jumping over the shark. And if there’s one thing they gotta tackle before it comes to an end, it’s the fucking cosmos.
I legitimately love the bro-eroticism, fantastic action, and oily body of the Furious franchise so, so much. And while I’ve been particularly focused on mashing my knob to the Rock’s spin-off movie, this F9 news also rules.
There is only one downside that would come from John Cena teaming up with The Rock for a Fast and Furious movie. It would be the potential tears in the space-time continuum, as reality itself is threatened by the combination of so much awesomeness.
Vin Diesel wants to bring back Paul Walker’s character for future Fast and Furious movies. Maybe. Sort of. That is, if you’re willing to believe Paul Walker’s brothers. Here’s hoping it was more of a fever dream of Vin Diesel’s that he pitched to the Walker brothers than a “hey, I’m about to do this thing, guys” sort of thing.
Helen Mirren is joining Fast 8. Which, if they provide her with dope cars to drive, and stellar guns to shoot, means the movie is officially the best movie ever made by human or A.I.
Justin Lin is one of my favorite action directors. I’m not even kidding. I’M NOT EVEN TROLLING. So goddamn yes I’m glad he’s returning to the franchise he helped resurrect.
Paul Walker has died. It’s telling how much I enjoyed Paul Walker’s participation in the Fast and the Furious movies, ’cause when I first heard this news I felt genuine sadness. Which is pretty much foreign to me when it comes to mourning the passing of celebrities. Boo.