#September2014

‘Episode VII’ News: Syrio Forel (Miltos Yerolemou) joins the f**king cast

NOT TODAY BRUH

If you watch Game of Thrones and you weren’t totally swooning over Syrio Forel — stop fucking lying. J.J. Abrams seems intent on stacking the cast for Episode VII with a bevy of my bitties. And the latest to join the cast is Miltos Yerolemou, who plays the aforementioned awesome swordsman.

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‘Episode VII’ News: These are maybe the new Stormtrooper helmets

Stormtrooper

Yeehaw! Here’s the latest batch of Episode VII non-news! Some internet website Indie Revolver is claiming that they’ve acquired looks at the new iterations of the classic Stormtrooper helmet. Maybe they’re right! Maybe they’re wrong. In either case, they’re after the jump.

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‘Episode VII’ Non-News: Abrams teases droid hand in UNICEF winner reveal

J.J. Abrams.

Listen, I don’t want to hear it. I know this is non-news, inconsequential, whatever. But I’m just going to throw up my hands up and admit the truth: I can’t single-handedly reverse-engineer the media’s descent into madness. (A madness that some would argue began with the advent of the telegraph.) So yeah, whatever. A droid hand is revealed. Take it or don’t.

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‘Episode VII’ Non-News: Mark Hamill has a goddamn power beard

Fucking Power Beard

Yeah this is legitimately not news at all. But it’s Star Wars and I’m a dirty gaping maw eagerly wanting to be filled with all bits of Episode VII minutiae.

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‘Episode VII’ Rumors: This is Gwendoline Christie’s role?

Gwendoline Christie

Ya’ll smart enough to know the Space-Ship Omega, beclad in seminal fluids and Star Wars figures, wasn’t going to go a day without an Episode VII rumor. The latest one (which frankly I thought was already covered by The Big Sites?) pertains to Gwendoline Christie’s role.

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‘Episode VII’ Teaser Image: Return of the X-Wing!

Abrams

J.J. Abrams has dropped a sexy look at a mofuckin’ X-Wing (or a Z-95 Headhunter depending on whom you ask) in his latest video for the charity Force for Change,. I sort of assumed the son of a bitch would be back, but seeing it in its filthy glory definitely gets my knobs swelling.

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‘Episode VII’ Rumors: This may be the very general plot!

Star Wars.

Perchance, perhaps, this is the very first leak of Episode VII’s plot. I cheated. I peeked. But I don’t feel particularly ruined. More piqued.

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RIAN JOHNSON writing and directing ‘EPISODE VIII’, writing ‘Episode IX’ treatment

Rian Johnson

Of course huge Star Wars news drops while I’m on my way to a wedding. And away from my computer for an entire day. Of course.

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Harrison Ford broke his leg on ‘EPISODE VII’ set. Mend Well, Good Sir.

Harrison Ford.

Apparently the damage to Han Solo’s corporeal form was more than originally reported. The good Harrison Ford reportedly broke his leg whilst filming Episode VII, and is out of commission for the next eight weeks.

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Moar ‘EPISODE VII’ Set Photos: Classic Spaceships Bein’ Built

He's shocked about em.

Yes, I’m going to post these new set photos. No, I’m not going to specify which classic spaceships. Yes, the internet has probably already ruined it for you. Putting potential spoilers in post titles for cheap clicks > preserving the sanctity of the first viewing in this day and age.

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