#December2016
‘Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition’ Is Dropping on XB1, PS4, And PC In April
Bulletstorm is getting itself an HD makeover! Which is nice, if unexpected. I was one of the few people I know who played (and loved) the game. Who knows, maybe this re-release will drum enough support to give me the sequel I’ve been so patiently waiting for.
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First Person Mario: The Plumber Goes Bulletstorm.
Brandon Laatsch created a 3DSMax animation that imagined good old fucking Super Mario Bros. as a first person experience with absurd achievements like in Bulletstorm. If only this gem was real.
Hit the jump for the video.
REVIEW: Bulletstorm
[Alright, so check it. This review is by The Faux Bot and originally written for Mad Gear Solid. When I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to finish the game in time, I asked him if he’d want to syndicate his shit. He said yes. Faux Bot is a genius, scholar, and friend of the site. He’s also funnier than me, and Mad Gear Solid is our spiritual twin from over on the other site of the pond. So go to fucking Mad Gear Solid, or die by a flaming sword draped in profanity and hate.]
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Here is a list of some words that make me think of Bulletstorm; squelch, slam, gush, firework, meat, erupt, anal, cavity, spurt, squish, rupture, forced, insertion, sack, giblets, cram, innards, gullet, crunch, drill, impale, tear, bore, flesh, sever, penetrate. These are but a few, however, they perfectly illustrate the amusing meta-game that I’ve created inside my juvenile mind. I like to re-arrange the words as you would with those amusing novelty fridge magnets —you know the kind- so that I can make deliciously witty and outrageous phrases that help me to decide on how to orchestrate my upcoming blood-bath.FORCIBLY INSERT ANAL DRILL and it’s done.
Bulletstorm Guys Put Out Playable Call of Duty Parody, “Duty Calls.”
This, my friends, is just another moment in the greatest gaming marketing campaign of all time. The dudes behind Bulletstorm have released a playable Call of Duty parody. For free. Right here. Download it. It’s fucking hilarious. It features a rather amazing deconstruction of the Call of Duty formula, through the mouths of all the cliched cats you come across in the game. I love me some Call of Duty, but I was fudging me cheeks while rocketing through the four minutes.
Don’t want to download it? Hit the jump for a video of the parody.
Bulletstorm To Feature Gang Bangs? Check This Video.
Oh Bulletstorm. For a while, I loved you from afar. Your juvenile swagger spoke to me. Now, you’re getting closer and closer. I played the demo. You delivered. The distance that keeps us apart? Almost unbearable.
Today another video dropped, this time showing the Skillshot, the Gang Bang. Oh yeah man, the glory of this game will be known. Known well.
Hit the jump for the video.
Bulletstorm Demo Impressions: BONERSTORM.
When I take up a cause, I do it full on. Over-the-top and out of control. If you’ve been poking around these parts lately, you know that I have undergone total dickcrush mode for Bulletstorm. Childish, juvenile, and embracing every fucking moment of it. The demo dropped today, and I was fucking stoked. As I downloaded that shit, I threw up a psalm or two dozen to whatever Vaporous Deity wanted to pay attention to me.
Dear Netherworld Otherbeings, please let this game fucking rock.
Sometimes, motherfuckers hear your prayer.
Bulletstorm Disses Halo With Projectile Vomiting Diorama Video. Awesome.
Oh Bulletstorm. God I want this game. Their marketing campaign is fucking outstanding. There are the Bulletpoints bits they’ve been rolling out, and now there’s this. Remember those totally artsy Halo advertisements with the dioramas of the battlefield? Yeah, Bulletstorm and the gurus behind it take aim at those ads. With figurine projectile vomiting. It’s fucking amazing.
Hit the jump for the video.
Dude Huge And Bulletstorm Blow Out Your Ass. [Video.]
The newest Bulletpoints came out today, in hype of Bulletstorm, and if you thought the first one was great, wait until you see this. Dude Huge pontificates on his grandfather telling him he can do anything. It also features the phrase “blow out a man’s asshole.”
Hit the jump for the video.
E3 Bulletstorm Demo Will BLOW YOUR GENITALS APART
This is all you need to know about Bulletstorm. You shoot the fucking shit out of shit. You swear a lot. There’s fucking hilarious (intentionally) cheesy action movie lines like “I predict an imminent detonation…”, ” I predict an imminent getting the fuck out of here!” and “Last train out of explosion town!” You shoot more dudes. You rack up insane arcadey combos. You have fucking sweet fucking weapons. You shoot more shit. I think the main character is voiced by Spike Spiegel’s voice actor. Who also did 7-Eleven ads, which is double fucking win. Hit the jump, watch the trailer, sorry about your genitals.
Bulletstorm Trailer Features: AWESOME, INSANE GOD DAMN GUNS, Nine Inch Nails
The fucking Bulletstorm fucking trailer features fucking Nine Inch Nails, fucking insane amounts of guns, space pirates, and fucking giant plants that fucking eat shit! I’m fucking pumped! Fuck!
No seriously, this game looks god damn ridiculous. It’s climbed to the top of my “Do Want” list. It’s an FPS for the No Attention Span, Strung Out On Energy Drinks generation. So pretty much a game designed for me. Just watch the trailer, and if you don’t like it, punch yourself in a soft and sensitive spot. Check out the trailer after the jump.
