Marvel continues to tease the tip when it comes to some sort of crossover involving both Peter Parker and the Spider-Man of their Ultimate universe. I can’t recall a time when they’ve riffed on this sort of interaction between the two universes, but if they’re going to do it they might as well do it with their best character. Yeah, that’s right. Miles Morales.

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Marvel’s announced uh, something, in the vein of Spider-Men #1  arriving this June. At least I was all “If those fucks get rid of Miles Morales I will literally cut them”, but then I noticed something…it isn’t the Ultimate universe.

Hit the jump for the promo and speculation.

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The name is the game! Welcome to Comics We’re Buying This Week, the communal comic book welcome wagon where we all share the hotness we’re snagging from the funny book farm on a given Wednesday. Per usual: my taste is shite, and I’m always looking to broaden my horizons. Don’t know what’s dropping? Behold ComicList.

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When Brian Marvel Bendis began his run on Avengers, he was the Apple of my Comics Eye. These days I’ve cast aside his nineteen Avengers titles, convinced that he’s spread too thin. Too many witty quips to pen. Too many cute repartees. Bendis may be sensing the same thing, and he’s going to wrap-up his eight fucking year  run next year. Jesus I feel old. He’s ending it, and man he’s making claims.

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I don’t read none of them Avengers books. Don’t like them. Don’t care about them. Marvel knows this, and they aren’t playing fair. They’re adding  Daniel Acuña to Avengers proper starting with issue #18, and his artwork is enough to get me to buy the rag.

Hit the jump for a preview of his premiere issue. It’s sexy.

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Welcome to Variant Covers. I like comic books. Sometimes I really like them. And every week, I write in this column about the comic books that are dropping this week that I’m interested in. If you’re so inclined, hit up the comments section with what you’re throwing down some ducets on. My ears. They’re open.

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Northlanders #36.
Those who follow this column know that I have an unapologetic butt-crush on Brian Wood. His work hits me on a variety of levels, from fucking awesome! to fucking inspirational. The second and final issue of “The Girl in The Issue” drops this week, and I’m expecting the latter. The storyline follows a weathered old man trying to solve the murder of a girl he found frozen in time. The first issue garnered serious love here, and I’m expecting the same from the finale. Its a quiet, almost Hemingway-esque march through the final tolling of a man’s life, cognizant of his small and dwindling station in the world.

I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Becky Cloonan’s artwork is stunning, and issue #35 provided three of the most gorgeous panels (its three panels, right?) I can recall in recent time.

Outstanding.

Also Dropping: Wood’s DMZ #61. I’m waiting on the sixth trade to arrive in my mail, for I desperately need to catch up before it ends.

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Scarlet #4.
Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev’s post-modern metatextual affair continues this week. Still featuring a sexy redhead with guns. Still featuring her directly engaging the reader every issue. Still getting me very, very excited every time it drops. The last issue ended (if I recall, the long breaks between issues is killing me) with her capping a cop, and I imagine the title is only going to get more violent. I mean, fuck, she’s trying to encourage the reader to join her in a cultural uprising.

Not exactly for the faint of heart.

I don’t think the title gets as much love from others as I give but, I can understand why. The tropes themselves aren’t new: V for Vendetta with a vixen, mix in some teenage uproar, et cetera. But it’s done well, and Maleev’s artwork is stunning. Some of the stuff he’s doing with paneling is fresh to a guy like me. Bearing in mind that I mean a guy who doesn’t have much in the way of technical knowledge when it comes to art. I’m a lit dork, leave me alone.

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Remember last week when Previews teased the OMFG DEATH OF SPIDER-MAN last week? Well, new details have begun to trickle out about it. For starters, the son of a bitch takes place in the Ultimate universe. Which is a good thing, since while I snag a few titles from over in their alternate reality, it doesn’t excite me like it used to. Also, the entire endeavor is being overseen by Brian Marvel Bendis and Mark Swear Words Are Awesome! Millar. The storyline kicks off in February in Ultimate Spidey #153, then follows through into Ultimate Avengers vs. New Ultimates #1 (groan), while continuing through both titles during the month.

Five years ago, this would have excited me to pieces. Now I’m just weary. Good thing for me, both Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar are annoyingly hyperbolic as ever.

Comics Alliance:

“This is the biggest, boldest thing we’ve attempted in the ten years since we kicked this line off,” said Millar. “This is the one thing that could be bigger than the CREATION of the Ultimate line and it’s great to be a part of it. Being part of something like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and soon you’ll all get to read the story we’ve written for you, This should be up there with the very small number of events that really mattered. This is going to be big.”

I don’t expect him to not be completely excited. Especially since it’s Mark Millar, and he super-hypes everything. So why wouldn’t he hype the hell out of this? But it’s hard to get super jazzed about anything predicated around THE DEATH OF CHARACTER X. At least for me. Right?

Are you like me? Still not jazzed? Brian Michael Bendis up in your house!

Comics Alliance:

“As a group and as individuals we have made a conscious effort to create stories this year that no one has ever seen before… I am very, very proud to be a part of this storyline and very proud of Marvel for even attempting such a bold endeavor. Sit back and watch as we unveil a storyline unlike any other!!”

A storyline like any other? Oh, you mean a status-quo destroying storyline that features the death of a character? Jesus Christ, that’s new and exciting. I’m being a bitter dick. I know I am. Underneath it all, with two big names behind it, I am going to check it out of of nothing other than curiosity.

Also, although I only really enjoy Bendis’ for his work on Scarlet at the moment, and I checked out of Mark Millar’s retarded adolescent fantasies when he decided to have one gay character of his involuntarily rape his own sister (no, I’m serious, that’s from the piece of refuse that is Nemesis), at one point in my life they were two of my favorite writers. So when Bendis isn’t stretched completely thin, and Mark Millar isn’t devolving into a shock jock bullshit satire of himself, I love the two of them.

So I guess I’m excited?

Thoughts?

Variant Covers. Your one-stop shop for the comic books I’m excited about dropping this Wednesday. Your chance to comment, and recommend titles you’re reading not only this week, but in general. A brothel of pathetic attempts at intellectual dialogues, and more glaringly, juvenile jokes. Welcome, I’m excited you’re here.

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Scarlet #3
In recent weeks, I’ve tried to ease up on my bashing of writers. Well, ignoring the fact that I took Mark Millar behind the woodshed. Particularly writers that I like, and respect. So whereas I used to bemoan Brian Michael Bendis’ decline, I’ve tried to rationalize it under the idea that he carries an enormous work load for Marvel. Far too many pages for me to fathom churning out every month. I know he’s a talented writer. I know it.

Scarlet is case-in-point.

My brother and I are big fans of Scarlet, Bendis and Maleev’s creator-owned title being published through Marvel’s Icon label. As I’ve detailed before, the time that has been put into this book bleeds through in oodles of quality. Oodles, guys and gals, oodles. The title’s distinguishing feature is the smashing and tearing of the fourth-wall, with Scarlet talking directly to the audience throughout the book. Juxtapose that son of a bitch with Maleev’s creative use of paneling, and you have something that snags you by the nipples right away.

Scarlet’s recruiting a revolution, and she wants you to join in. Trust me, when a sexy femme fatale is talking to you, the loins surge.

It’s a solid title, with tropes that aren’t particularly new, but as I said, they’re executed well. Bendis’ wit shines through, and Maleev is fucking gorgeous as ever. The dude could pencil two pigeons fucking and I’d be on-board. The sort of artwork that could carry a title, but with the writing, simply compliments it.

Grab this son of a bitch.

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Baltimore: The Plague Ships #4
It seems like every time I turn around, a new issue of The Plague Ships is flying its way onto shelves. Get it, cause it stars vampires? Flying? I’m a fucking dunce? I concur. And that’s absolutely fine with me. While it isn’t righteous enough to command my full attention with every issue, the title entertains me in a mindless sort of way that I sometimes need. You should seem me when I’m reading an issue of S.H.I.E.L.D by Hickman. I got a pad of paper, and a pen. I’m scribbling notes and asking rhetorical questions like the grad school lit major loser that I am.

The Plague Ships is a way to decompress. I want to emphasize that this is no fucking knock on Mignola. The title is tight, entertaining, and extremely sexy in the artwork department. It operates on a level that I can definitely feel. Sometimes it’s perfectly fine to be nothing more than fun. For the burgeoning intellectual who is going to give some brilliant reading of Plague Ships in the comments box, let me stop you: you’re probably right, but I’m turning my fucking brain off for this title, and riding the wind. Get it? Like a vampire? Yeah, fuck me.

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Superboy #1
Lest you think I’m packed to the gills with dookie when I say I’ll read anything you recommend to me, consider this: prior to about six months ago, I had never heard of Jeff Lemire. A reader with good taste recommended that I snag up Sweet Tooth and I did so. Since then, my ass crush for the dude has been immeasurable. Love him. I’ll admit I’ve only ingested seven issues or so of his work, as I can only grab Sweet Tooth in TPB around these parts, but I dig him.

So with that said, his name alone is enough to push the relaunch of Superboy onto me. What’s it going to be about? Damned if I know. The synopsis promises wonder and the beginning of the next great epic in the DC universe, but I mean, c’mon. That’s cream puff bullshit. All I know is that it’s a very talented writer getting a crack at an up-and-down icon within the stretched parameters of Metropolis.

Sometimes the author is enough for me to check something out. Actually an author I like is always enough for me to give something a try.

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My final project for my summer course is finished. It’s been attached to an email. It’s been fired, an electronic missive, scattering across the digi-webs towards my professor’s inbox. And as soon it is received, it shall begin crushing the university’s bandwidth, daring to be downloaded. Enormous. Blathering. Finished.

A week’s worth of work. Thousands of words, a couple dozen pages. Diet Mountain Dew cans consumed into the infinity-range. Spent veins, spent cells, smiles abound.

Hey, it’s like, summer or something?

I’ll be bored and ready for class in two weeks.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

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