Matt Fraction sends ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ on nameworthy voyage, fills their place with oddity.
How can you replace Jonathan Hickman on Fantastic Four? You can’t, you turkey! Not even Matt Fraction will fill that void for me, and ya’ll know that is saying something. Matt Fraction. Gorgeous head of hair, lovely sets of stories. Not even he can saddle up to Fantastic Four without me screaming “Not my Dad! Dammit!” What I am very excited for is the sister title FF, which seems to be going in a brilliantly Fractionian direction.
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Rumor: IMAGE from the KINECT 2 sensor leaked.
Skynet is upgrading its wares, infiltrating the next generation of Kinect sensors and the shit. Soon it will be able to accurately track the motions of your hand as you masturbate. Despite turning the system off, the camera will be on. Aware. Recording your furry habits.
Press Start: boredom-fueled bio-shocks
Believing in the realness of your own excellence is not just an enlightenment-based video series that I am currently marketing. No; it’s more, much more than that. Believing in one’s own excellence, and indeed the realness of said excellence, is a commodity in startlingly short supply.
Take the video games industry, for example. Day upon day, games get cancelled and teams announce ‘safe’ projects just to be sure of that crucial paycheck. ‘Why?’ I hear you ask. Unfortunately, my friends, it is because those working in the video games industry display the most startling lack of belief in the realness of their own excellence. Click this link for more info. Bulk discounts available. Let us delve into the shocking evidence that shows why now, more than any other time, that the games industry needs to start believing in the realness of its own excellence ™.
OL STORE: Dr. Venkman Crushes Ass!
A new combatant has entered the battle royale that is the OL STORE!
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He has PhDs in psychology and parapsychology. He’s the host of World of the Psychic. He thwarted Vigo the Carpathian’s plan to bring about the apocalypse. He defended New York City from a 50-foot marshmallow man, and five years later he piloted the Statue of Liberty. And when need be, he can show a prehistoric bitch how things’re done downtown.
He’s Dr. Peter Venkman and he crushes ass.
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Head over to the OL STORE and snag the t-shirt that celebrates the paranormal promiscuity of Billy Murray’s greatest character!
Mr. Plinkett drops a hilarious and brilliant commentary track for ‘A NEW HOPE’, as us assholes call it.
Fuck yeah. Plinkett has dropped a commentary for Star Wars, and it is equal shades brilliant and hilarious. You think the dude is just absurdist comments and insightful comments, then he’ll blow your asshole out by referencing “inciting incidents” and other nonsense that I wish I could refer to. Get it.
Joss Whedon signs EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT with Marvel through 2015. Dude is their shepherd, praise be.
Joss Whedon didn’t just sign on to write and direct Avengers 2. Naw, son! Naw, daughter! The motherfucker has signed on to work exclusively with Marvel through the three years following the Mayan apocalypse. I couldn’t be happier about this if I was reading it while spraying whipped cream on my nipples and slapping myself on the ass with a spatula. And we all know how happy that makes me!
Buy These F**king Comics! – August 8, 2012: Becky Cloonan, Godzilla, Jesus Christ, and Other Rock Stars.
Greetings, Earthlings and interdimensional lurkers. It’s Wednesday, and that can only mean one thing. Time for me to lumber down to the LCS, notice that they don’t have the two comic books I want, and flip a shelf. Scream loudly. Dive head first through the glass, trailing blood and tendon dangling from said shards. Scream at drivers as I run wildly through traffic, picking bits and beads of skin and skull out of my Kingdom Come Superman t-shirt. Stumble into a ditch. Write this column telepathically, using the fading moments of my consciousness to commune with you folks.
Let us share, as darkness dawns on crumbling psyche, the comics we want to buy this week. Certainly, with shredded skin and violated visage, I’ll miss something you’re eager for. That is half the fun. Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up Comic List.
The Dude’s High 5s: Mars!
Curiosity has landed! It will now spend the next two plus year rolling around Mars’ surface killing cats. With that, this High 5 will take a look at my favorite facts and uses about Mars fiction. So here we go.
