Welcome to the wonderfully quiet Police State, folks. Wikileaks has expose “TrapWire”, a government program that uses ordinary surveillance cameras to spy on the reg. In response, the site has suffered a rather massive DDoS. Sadly, you know what? Shit is unnecessary. The average United States citizen don’t give no fucks, as long as they have their fried foods and reality television.

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Nic Cage is going to do The Expendables 3. Good goddammit. The first flick sucked, I’m not enticed by the second, and now I’m going to have to see the third. My love for Cage and his penchant for madcap completely awful roles is well documented, and he is signing up for this pure fecaltainment I’m theater bound.

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Yeah, happy Monday ya’ll. Stephanie Castro brings the heat.

Whoo! Do you see that? It’s Spaceship OL, and it looks like it’s gone to plaid! There can only be one reason for traveling so quickly to the OL STORE!

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Crack open a can of Perri-Air, pop in the newest instant-cassette, and enjoy the feeling of passing right by then. That’s right, everything that happens now is happening now. And as it happens you’re going to want to make sure to wear the sickest of all Spaceballs-themed tee shirts. Hell, I know that Lone Starr even keeps one packed in his suitcase labeled What I Need to Survive.

How do I know this? Simple – I figured out his luggage combination.

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Head to the OL STORE and snag one of these fine shirts!

RoboCop is going to fight terrorists in his upcoming remake. File this under the pantheon of dumb ideas that manifest themselves in reboots. Let RoboCop shoot some errant perps, posture a lot, and quip like a motherfucker. Don’t get him involved in an asinine plot point that wore out its jingoist welcome a solid seven years ago.

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I’m not good at the first-person shooters. I love them shit out of them, I really do. I also find myself looting when I should be shooting, and running into walls, twirling in beautiful stupidity. Gearbox got me covered. Keep Reading »

Another comic book legend has embraced eternity. Joe Kubert, legend unto himself and father of two of comics’ biggest artists has passed away. So it may go, but it is still a bummer.

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Mad old, but I was thinking about it today, and never posted it. Love it.

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There’s totally an Xbox “Durango” development kid on eBay. It totally has to be real, legit, and quantifiable. That said, how about you go and buy it, and let me know how gnarly it turns out to be. I’ll bring the popcorn and we can program Dong Wars xx69. You just need to front the overhead.

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[WEEKEND OPEN BAR: The one-stop ramble-about-anything weekend post at OL. Comment on the topic at hand. Tell us how drunk you are. Describe a comic you bought. This is your chance to bring the party.]

It was during the 8th century BCE that the Greek poet-Jedi known as Homer detailed the events of the Trojan War with the Iliad. An impassioned narrative of a conflict between kings, warriors, gods, and mortals, Homer’s epic poem has been celebrated since its inception. However, the readers who stop after reading the final line of the Iliad (“Thus, then, did they celebrate the funeral of Hector tamer of horses.“) has only treated themselves to half of the story.

The second half of the tale comes in the form of the Odyssey, an epic which follows Odysseus on his dangerous voyage home. Odysseus is a hero of the Trojan War (like the Trojan Horse? Yeah, that was his idea), but he’s slipped into a slick puddle of shit-luck. As such, his return to Ithaca has been delayed by incredible storms, man-eating monsters, an encounter with Polyphemos that ends with being cursed by Poseidon, the allure of Sirens’ songs, and more than a few battles. Oh, when Odysseus finally gets home, he has to figure out how to kill all of the assholes that’ve been depleting his estate and trying to court his wife.

But don’t worry – Odysseus pulls it off, and in style!

“’Dogs! You thought I would never come back from Troy, so you have been carving up my substance, forcing the women to lie with you, courting my wife before I was dead, not fearing the gods who rule the broad heavens, nor the execration of man which follows you for ever. And now the cords of death are made fast about you all!’”

Not only is the Odyssey a mythological tour de force that’s still read and studied and imitated today, it’s also the first documented sequel in the history of narrative. And it’s bad-ass. Hell, many believe it to be equal, if not superior, to the Iliad.

Sure, there’s an argument to be had that most sequels are cheap cash-grabs that capitalize on the popularity of great works. There’s no denyin’ that much of the direct-to-video market is built on this premise. But with the Odyssey having been established nearly three thousand years ago, there’s a time-tested precedent that sometimes sequels are worthwhile continuations.

So here’s our topic of discussion: What is your favorite sequel?

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