The Dude’s High 5s: Holidays!
I hate August. It is my least favorite month. It’s hot, it’s sticky, and worst of all, no holidays. There’s no prebuilt excuse to engage in revelry. So while we find ourselves in the center of this horrid month, let’s look fondly towards days of celebration. You’ll notice a distinct lack of gift giving holidays on my list. Some people think it’s because I hate fun. Other people guess it’s because I was hatched a fully formed adult and have never been a wide-eyed child, anxiously awaiting treats. My response to those claims is that they are false. It’s because I hate the bullshit pretense that is built around them, especially when I am in no way affiliated with the religion that spawned them. Also I have no family. I will never stop hating the pretense built into gift giving holidays, but if I did have a family, I’d suck it up and deal with it for them.
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Brian K. Vaughan raps on the potential money in creator-owned comics.
Brian K. Vaughan has recently been getting his proselytizing on. The co-creator of the goddamn glorious Saga has opened up about the potential money to be made in creator-owned comics. Certainly he speaks from a perch of rampant success and fame, but he raises some good points. I’m personally glad the dude and Staples are crushing it over at Image, and I silently pray Saga gets optioned for a flick just so Staples and him can get the riches they deserve.
US appeals court says “F**K YEAH!’ to warrantless phone GPS tracking. I frown.
I’m going to need to double-down on my secret skulking as the nighttime vigilante, Balls Out. You can guess my super power. The Man has ruled in favor of warrantless phone GPS tracking, and god knows I need my iPhone’s GPS to Yelp my dinner stops throughout the night. Fighting crime burns mad kcals.
Turn living plants into multitouch interfaces. Controlling computers with plants. THE FUTURE IS GOOD.
This just seems like the sort of silly shit I’d make up early in the morning, ripped on grease and caffeine. The future is here, it just ain’t evenly distributed. The words of my hero Billy Gibson. Well, shit. If anyone is looking for some of that excess future being hoarded, check out this ridiculousness.
Dude finishes building his FULL SCALE NOAH’S ARK. Extravagant survivalism.
Shit, man. If I was a millionaire, I wouldn’t be building arks. I would be…Well, I’d probably still be blogging and just worrying a lot less about the bills. Buying my friends like so many bags of Gummi Bears. Dutch millionaire Johann Huibers doesn’t share my swagger. Dude is building his own Noah’s Ark.
‘DEAD SPACE 3’ GAMESCOM TRAILER and Release Date. Inside. Right here.
Try as I might, I can’t stop wanting Dead Space 3. Yeah, it’s going to be a wilted version of a fantastic formula. It’s still a form of that structure, even bastardized and farted upon. I’m sorry. I’m weak. I can’t say no to Isaac Clarke or late night peanut butter sandwiches. And might I add, the two of them go fantastic together.
‘DAREDEVIL’ is heading back to Marvel, folks. Also! Joe Carnahan’s NC-17 sizzle reel for his ummade adaptation. So good.
No late night theatrics will be pulled. No rushed shooting schedule. After nixing what sounded like a fantastic but drastic script by Joe Carnahan, the movie is going home to the rest of the Universe. Fantastic Four stared idly from the bus window as its mate left behind the beleaguered studio.
‘THE LAST OF US’ NEW TRAILER & SCREENSHOTS: F**k that TV show ‘REVOLUTION’, this is my green apocalypse.
Forget the next dumb ass J.J. Abrams’ television show that is going to collapse in on its own overwrought mystery. The Last of Us is the green apocalypse that I am will be participating in. There’s a new trailer bringing the heat courtesy of gamescom, as well as a plethora of screenshots. Goddamn, I need this title.
OL STORE: ‘FINAL FANTASY VII’ Remake Like Woah! [And Sephiroth’s douchiness.]
Tifa’s huge rack and Cloud’s huge sword. It isn’t science (or maybe it is?) why I got behind Final Fantasy VII back in the day. There was flowing breasts and enormous bladed phallic weapons to swing at objects of my desire destruction. My adolescent brain was careening on raw hormone. You see, I regularly destroyed compact discs for no apparent reason. More often than not, I’d crank open my Mortal Kombat II strategy guide and awkwardly rub my groin all over my carpet with odd feelings and gooey groin. This game brought together these two absurd occurrences, and wrapped it up with the emergent teenage sense of wonderment. As Cloud and his rag tag of condemnable terrorists rolled the fuck out of Midgar, the world opened up to them. I couldn’t help but feel the same fucking feeling, with friends getting their licenses and our own world map unfolding before our eyes. Granted, Cloud was saving the world (when not being some sort of eco-Jihadist piece of shit). I was getting fat off of Wendy’s chicken nuggets and cajoling friends into trying to buy porn for me. Cloud and me? Mutually assured bildungsroman.
Esad Ribic’s cover for ‘THOR: GOD OF THUNDER’ #2 is straight Viking rock.
Marvel NOW! may be predicated on sales and emerge out of another bullshit event. It may. That isn’t stopping the creative minds at Marvel from bringing together some absurdly righteous creative teams. The company has revealed Esad Ribic’s cover for Thor: God of Thunder #2 and it has my balls all aflutter. That’s when they literally levitate in my pants, and I shout I’m flying!, I’m flying!” while recognizing a childhood dream.
