VALVE JOB AD proclaims they’re getting into the hardware business.
If you needed any more proof that Valve is getting into the hardware swagger unit, then this job posting should confirm it for you.
Producer: ‘AVATAR 4’ won’t be part of back-to-back filming. OH NO.
The hardest part about so much time passing between these Avatar movies is finding people still willing to dress up blue and fuck me with their tails. It was the hot shit at first. People were doing it in droves. Now that time has passed? Shit me. Whole scene has dried up like a successfully strip mined Pandora. Get it? That was the name of the dumb world, right?
Neuroscientists control THE DREAMS of rats. Well f**k me.
We’re flying too high, Icarus! Goodness me. Goddamn neuroscientists all controlling the dreams of mice. Let them step into the dank dark dungeons of my subconscious. I shall deep fry their particles with scatological behavior and vomit play! All while pitching for the Neo-Mars Thunderbars.
Holy taint! ‘BLACK MESA’ scheduled to drop on September 14.
Announced in 2004, Black Mesa has become something of a white whale. The fan-driven remake of the original Half-Life has gone quietly about its business for eight years, while the rest of us wonder how legitimacy of the project. Let us no longer question such things. The son of a bitch has a drop date.
Monday Morning Commute: beyond the future.
Can you feel the winds of progress caressing your face?
If there’s a breeze at your back, you need to turn around! Post-haste! Hurry up, goddamn it, or else you’re goin’ to miss it! No, not the future — the future’s already old news. Passé. The stuff of anthropology. Hell, every average seventeen year old possesses a single electronic device that can be used to make phone calls, research vast informational databases, watch movies, listen to music, and navigate via GPS.
And that average seventeen year old also wants the newer model.
But rather than letting these futuristic winds whip our backs, let’s trudge forward. Scratch that — let’s sprint. `Cause the fact of the matter is that it’s easy to spin our wheels here in the future. Hell, how could it not be? We’ve got everything that our parents and grandparents could’ve ever imagined. But if we hold our heads high, welcome alien gusts that tussle our hair, and keep movin’ ahead, we could go to some incredible places.
Let’s go beyond the future.
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Thanks for tuning in to the Monday Morning Commute! As per custom, I’m goin’ to show you the various bits of entertainment and brain-rot that I’ll be using to get through the workweek. After scoping out my pile of fun-detritus, hit up the comments section and tell us what you’ll be doin’ this week.
Time to party.
MARK MILLAR and other good souls take down an online bully douche.
Despite being woefully offensive in his comic blatherings, Mark Millar seems to be quite the solid dude. He recently joined forces with the Power of the Internet to fell some malicious online douchebag.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID: GROUND ZEROES’ TRAILER: You will believe Snake can f**king own again.
Snake is alive and sexy. Fox Engine is ridiculous. I can’t wait. Check the trailer. Fap to this.
Wut: ‘RESIDENT EVIL 6’ copies already in the hands of assholes in Poland. F**k,
Fucking copies of Resident Evil 6 are running the towns of Poland. They don’t give no shits. A month until street date? Fuck that. Fuck you! They’re in the wild. Shitting on your lawns. Infecting your video game systems.
