WWF star BAUTISTA signed to play DRAX in ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’ Word?
Shut up, it will always be the WWF to me. So yeah. Wrestler guy Bautista has been signed to play Drax (who?) in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. Cool? I happily kick this to community members for evaluation, since I don’t know a goddamn thing about this franchise.
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This Week On The Walking Dead: Arrow on the Doorpost
Two universes collide in this week’s Walking Dead 2min Redux!!! Rick and the Govna meet in a battle royale of who can capture the most smoldering intensity in a single scene. Our two favorite sweaty hairy egos match wits at the negotiating table, in a last ditch effort to avoid the carnage of total war. What’s it gonna be? Will cooler heads prevail? Find out plus more after the jump!!!
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Opinions Vary: Smile, Liking Things Is Awesome
Preamble.
When Eduardo Pluto first tasked me with writing this column, I was very much the-excite. I viewed it as an opportunity to pull apart my cheeks and bathe a litany of things in my steaming hate. It was a bona fide excuse to wield a hate-katana, slicing at the various things for which I held contempt. However, I began to waver in this task the more I thought about it. Slathering stupidity over a variety of topics in an effort to rile up the masses went against the very grain of OMEGA LEVEL, a site whose unofficial motto I’ve always felt was, “LIKING THINGS IS AWESOME.” So that’s not what I shall be doing here during my turn at Opinions Vary.
No, no it shant be.
Instead, I’m aiming to pump-up the pectorals of various things I enjoy. Specifically, the ones that have themselves been kicked in the pink goodies until they were mush. I’m going to prop the ground beef genitals of emaciated movies, books, video games, and sexual positions that I enjoy.
Strap in, and strap on. I’m about to blast your g-spot with positivity. When you’re done throwing rope, I’m going to kiss you upon the head and leave you be.
The first topic whose chest I’m going to rub with Hot&Cold?
The arts themselves.
Relax everyone, the arts are still beautiful.
‘VERONICA MARS’ MOVIE gets Kickstarted! Already passed its goal. Boom! Dynamite!
Man. I fucking needed this today. The local sports team lost one of its biggest players. Summer unemployment is looming. Google Reader is dying. Talk about stabbing my rot-gut. It appears I am not to fully despair, however. The Veronica Mars movie lives. Lives damn well. Today, series creator Rob Thomas and star Kristen Bell launched a Kickstarter to fund the son of a bitch, and ten hours later the goal had been surpassed. Well done, my friends.
Mutual Understanding: T*rash Metal
Hello there ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to rock? It’s time for me trolling yet another thing that I don’t quite understand. Look on the bright side however. I’m actually searching for enlightenment rather than just petty name calling or pigeonholing. So hit the jump and enlighten my ignorant ass.
J.J. ABRAMS + JUDGE DREDD = new robot cop show ‘HUMAN.’
Karl Urban is in the lead in the new J.J. Abrams’ television show about a robot cop or some shit. After LOTR, Star Trek, and Judge Dredd, I’m pretty much ready to watch Karl Urban do anything. Shoot perps. Take off his shirt and play basketball. Shoot perps while playing basketball. (Shirtless). So while I’m usually needling on Abrams’ dumb TV pilots this one has me excited! Much excite!!!
New ‘MOOD INDIGO’ TRAILER: Sartre in a giant f**king pipe.
I don’t expect many people to get excited for the new Gondry jam, Mood Indigo. For all the reasons that I love the trailer, it is sure to put people off. Odd as fuck, (in French), needlessly surreal. It is just what the doctor ordered for me. A mainline of imagination to the dome-piece.
MARS ROVER has findings that confirm the Red Planet was once capable of life. Bradburyboner.
The Mars Curiosity Rover Guy has found conditions on the aforementioned Red Planet that suggest the planet was once suitable for life. The real question becomes (obviously), when did we destroy Ares before we fled here to the Blue Marble? Don’t fuck with me, I’ve seen the face on the planet and everything. It makes sense. Tell me, Illuminati! Tell me!
Total Film’s new ‘MAN OF STEEL’ IMAGE got SUPERMAN AND LOIS LANE striking a pose.
[Update: now with way better qualities and shite.]
Want yourself a glimpse at Lois Lane, outside of that one-off that dropped of her in black and white last month or so? Total Film got you covered.
Google’s mysterious SAME-DAY DELIVERY SERVICE may have snagged Target.
How do you take down Amazon, the Titan of Online Shopping? First, you have to be enormous. Google big. Second, you have to pull off what they have not managed. Same-day delivery. It appears that in order to do so, Google has claimed quite the considerable ally.
