‘BORDERLANDS 2’ NEWS: New class, new cap, new DLC. Holy f**k.

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A goddamn boatload of Borderlands 2 news dropped yesterday at PAX East. It is a mighty good thing I wasn’t there, for I would have dropped trousers and charged the stage. In my culture, nothing conveys excitement like a stinky little penis head being rubbed on the chair of whomever has done you right. But uh yeah, here is the info.

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I’ve been to Columbia – Bioshock Infinite

infinite

 

It’s eerie to waltz around a world I’ve seen in trailers on and off since 2011. Eerie and awe-inspiring. Columbia is another City 17; avid gamers will hopefully feel happy to hear me draw the comparison.

There’s been so much said about the game, both from two years’ worth of previews and advance (groan) exclusive reviews over the past week. I won’t waste your time with fluff; here are some (spoiler-free) thoughts from my five-hour foray into Columbia so far.

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OL Original Story: The Sad and Short Earthbound Life of Tom Marshall [Part 3]

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Welcome back to the final installment of Tom’s tale.  We left Tom in quite a pickle last week.  Let’s step inside and see where our friend is now.  As a side note, thank you to everyone for the kind words concerning this story.  I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.

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Capcom is remaking ‘DUCKTALES’, every gamer my age s**ts themselves.

DuckTales.

Capcom has laid down a Mega-Ton Bombage today, rocking people of my proclivities (gaming) and age (old). The company is remastering the classic platformer DuckTales. A quick scan of my Twitter and Facebook feed confirms that this is giving most of the people I know raging sex glands.

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ROBERT REDFORD could be joining ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER.’ Well, then!

He's all over this game, yo.

Robert Redford is in talks to join Cap America: The Bucky Bromance Lives. I think we all totally saw this one coming, right? Get it? ‘Cause there was probably no chance anyone would have anticipated this. Ah whatever, I’m a fucking idiot. Hit the jump for the story.

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CHINA is all BUILDING A NATIONAL OPERATING SYSTEM based on Ubuntu.

China.

China wants to stop sucking at the meaty, frayed teat of Microsoft and Apple. In order to do so, the country is building a national operating system. Said OS will be based on Ubuntu, and I don’t really know what that means. I thought Ubuntu or whatever was what the 2007 Celtics were based on. I’m confused. Someone pass me my bottle and blanket. The lights are dimming.

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VATICAN thinks that Batman has gotten all bitter. No, srsly.

The Bat-Man.

It seems that the Lord’s People have decided to weigh in on the more “recent” characterizations of Batman. Namely, they seemed to think the Flying Rodent has become a bitter son of a bitch. I’m sure I agree with them (go figure), and I especially don’t think it is a new development. All I do know is that I want to roll through those fuckers’ balling comics collection. The room for the pull-boxes must be enormous.

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Cosplay: ROGUE from the X-MEN ignites my full-body suit fetish.

Rogue.

This is all the wonder. Rogue rocking out in a full-body suit, daring my latex fetish to subvert my already feeble consciousness. If I let the drive win, I’ll wake up wearing a Gambit costume. Covered in indistinct hairs. Screaming for the whip.

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Check it: ‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE’ reversible cover pics.

BioShock Infinite

Remember when everyone was freaking out about how generic BioShock Infinite’s cover was? And Levine was all, “chill out. We need to do it”? And then they offered a vote for a reversible cover? Here are some pictures of the end product. In Japanese. Hey, don’t get choosy on me now.

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Judge confirms SUPERMAN belongs to DC. Alas.

Roar.

Don’t let the headline fool you, the battle for Superman’s soul isn’t over. Okay, soul is a bit erroneous. And over-dramatic. The fight for Superman’s wondrous money-making capabilities isn’t over. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been ebbs and flows to the case. The latest has the tide turning in DC’s favor. What does this all mean?! I have no fucking idea.

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