HUGH JACKMAN TOTS TIRED OF BEING WOLVERINE. May retire after ‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST.’
Hugh Jackman is saying he will need a “pretty fucking compelling reason to return as Wolverine” after X-Men: Days of Future Past The Limit, stating it’ll take “like a musical or some shit. Or I’m out. Way fucking out.”
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DAMON LINDELOF’S NEXT DUMB F**KING SHOW to star JUSTIN THEROUX
Justin Theroux is going to be the star of the next show by Damon Lindelof, and it’s going to be on HBO. Oh goody me, Damon Lindelof is working on another television show. In case you didn’t know: Lindelof “works on television shows” by standing in front of a mirror, quietly saying “you’re so clever.” He slowly builds up to a tribal chant, at which he eventually orgasms. Hands free. It’s almost impressive.
(So much vitriol, I know.)
WHO IS F**KING LEFT TO CAST: BENICIO DEL TORO joins ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’
Benicio Del Toro has joined Guardians of the Galaxy. And you thought that Man of Steel had a ridiculous ensemble. Eh? Yeah, stick that notion in your butt and fly to the Moon! Turkeys. Wait — what was I saying? Oh yeah! Also, the Good Dude has also signed a multi-picture deal with the Marvelous Company. Anyone want to join me in the Stroke-It-Circle, hoping that he is playing Thanos?
ORIGINAL ‘STAR WARS’ TRILOGY goes PULP NOVELS. We all win.
Timothy Anderson has taken the original Star Wars novels and smashed them deep into the soul of pulp. Mixing them around, he has recombinated the parts into a serious of gorgeous novel covers.
MARS got a BANANAS Northern Polar Ice Cap.
Woah! What a dumb first line. Whatever. Double woah! Take a look at Mars’ northern polar ice cap. There are some seriously impressive natural forces taking place in this picture. Forces so majestic in scope that I cannot even begin to understand them. I’m just here for the free chicken and pictures!
[OL PRESENTS] OMNI: ROCKET MAN
Friends, the newest installment of OMNI is here. Led by rocket-riding cowboy-maniac Sergio Mahmoud Jonas, the pioneers come to realize that the fourth rock from the Sun is filled with miracles and horrors inconceivable by the leadfeet stuck on Earth.
In the early years, death cults and the monsters they worship descend from the mountains to wreak havoc. Later, corrupt statesmen misappropriating the Martian dream have to be assassinated. But these are small prices to pay for the benefit of an otherworldly home that produces genuine wonder and challenges us to reconsider the very parameters of possibility.
Hit the jump to check out Rocket Man, a five-page short illustrated by Steven Walters that shows us why Jonas decides to take humanity to the Red Planet!
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: A NICE DAY FOR A RED WEDDING #EasyJoke
Hello, friends. This is Monday Morning Commute. Within these walls, we share the various functions and safety valves we’re utilizing to get us through the daily week. Not only that, it is a post used as a general “this is what’s up in my world” sort of bullshit community building exercise. I hope you’re all well.
Let’s party.
THIS WEEK on Game of Thrones: “The Rains of Castamere”
Astute viewers knew something was wrong when the wedding musicians started playing the Lannister song of war and battle, ‘The Rains of Castamere’.
I remember feeling physically ill for an hour after reading the chapter in George R. R. Martin’s ‘A Storm of Swords’ that corresponded to the end of tonight’s episode.
The interesting conversation is: what happens now? What’s become of the North? The Starks are dead or scattered all across the world. Winterfell is in ruins. Where are all of Robb’s generals, like the Blackfish, and the groom himself, Edmure Tully?
The still-more interesting conversation: will viewers be encouraged enough to hang on, persist, and see this story through? Many people I know felt completely gutted after this chapter years ago, and the ones I saw watching tonight seemed doubly so – it’s quite something to see these events play out visually.
How do you hang on when the good guys get torn apart so viciously, so brazenly?
THE BRIGHTEST F**KING TIMELINE: DAN HARMON officially returns to ‘COMMUNITY.’
Oh Jesus Christ, feel these nipples. Careful though, careful. They are fucking sharp. Ready to slice through cynicism and pave a way into the glorious dimension where Dan Harmon is still on Community. Oh wait, that’s this one? Yesss.
KAREN GILLIAN of ‘DOCTOR WHO’ rocking ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ role as villain.
I continue covering Guardians of the Galaxy news, not really familiar with both the Universe, and half the cast. Whatever. It’s a ridiculously expensive space epic set within the Marvel Universe. That alone has my attention. The latest addition to the cast is Karen Gillan. She’s from Doctor Who, which I also don’t know much about.
