The only thing that mitigates my excitement for Titanfall is the fact that none of my friends have an XB1. I don’t think? Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I’d flip this computer table in a caffeinated batch of fanboy insanity after watching this alpha footage. Good. God. Yes.

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Dopeee! Really dope. A supernova has been captured going off in a relatively close galaxy. How close? Oh you know — 12 million light years away. Jesus, Reality is enormous.

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Sorry, sorry. So much Star Wars. I get it. We only cover Star Wars and Marvel. I’ll fall on my fucking lightsaber later. For now let’s contemplate a Pixar-powered Star Wars movie. Here, I’ll pop off my pants first. Air out the rapidly swelling pink bits. You can follow suit if you see fit.

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Well, I suppose I don’t have to sweat not getting more House of Cards after season two due to Netflix failure. I mean, maybe Kevin Spacey and I elope and he gives up show business. Maybe. But that’s a horse of a different color. All I know is that it won’t be because Flix can’t afford it. Those fuckers ensnared another 2+ million brains in Q4 of 2013.

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Zounds! It’s really happening. Really, really happening. And I can’t help it, I’m torqued. Carrie Fisher says Hamill, Ford, and she will be on set soon. On fucking set. Ignite lightsaber. Watch your eyes.

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Oh yeah! There’s a Fantastic Four movie happening. We already know that Michael B. Jordan is going to play Johnny Storm, but who is going to flesh out the rest of the cast? Maybe Jon Snow? Maybe Robb Stark? Maybe me? I sent in my audition tape! Peanut butter sandwich belly+my fiance’s yoga pants pulled up over my tits=the definitive Reed Richards.

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Wednesday.  The weekly grind slogs on.  The guy one cubicle over won’t shut up about the goddamned weather.  Your neighbor’s dog continues to shit in your yard.  Frozen fishsticks for dinner.  Again.  There is, however, a brightness to be found in the murk.  I wish I could say it was this column, but nay, I am not that good.  No, it’s the subject of this column that is our beacon.  I’m here to round up the best and brightest funnybooks that drop in our laps (and comic shops/tablets/grocery store wire racks circa pre-1992) on this most miserable of days.  So walk towards this brightness with me – seek out the light.  Let’s talk some damned comics, shall we?

Lots of great titles this week, and a full list can be found HERE.

Join me as we discuss new Rick Remender, my favorite West Coast Avenger, and an Omnibus collecting my favorite series of ALL TIME.  Plus I get a little salty at Marvel.  Should be fun!

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I say New Gods, yes! Joe Casey and a fucking squadron of Beast Mode artists are intent on relaunching a Jack Kirby classic for Dynamite Entertainment. I’ve never checked out the Kirby original, but jeepers is this endeavor stacked with talent. As Lenny Descartes says in Django The Slaver Slayer, “first I was eating pineapple, but now I’m excited.”

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Sad guy Quentin Tarantino. Apparently his next project was (I didn’t know this) The Hateful Eight. However the script for that little ditty leaked, and now Tarantino has a case of the butt-hurts. Yup. He’s talking his cinematic ball home, and we can all get fucked! Seriously though — he is rocking the feint that he isn’t making Hateful Eight into a movie anymore. I don’t know, yo. I’m hard pressed to believe this.

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I haven’t read The Dark Tower series, but both Bateman and Rendar are pretty fucking enthusiastic about the series. This leaves me appreciative of the works, without really knowing their inner workings. So when I hear Aaron Paul is in talks to play someone in the TV-Movie-Twitter-Tumblr-Board Game adaptation, I don’t have much to offer. Cool? I mean, I like Paul.

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