I fucking love Borderlands. Like, it speaks to me. The absurdity. The in-your-face fucking obnoxiosness resonates with me. It’s the gaming equivalent of A CAPS LOCK ENERGY DRINK CAFFEINE VOMIT NIGHTMARE. Which is essentially my life in a nutshell. So you better believe I love this trailer for the game. Which is arriving October 14! Fuck yes.

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Look at this fucking gnarly mash-up poster by Matt Ferguson. You know, I was going to post this tomorrow. ‘Cause today I already jerked off with uncomfortable fervor to the new Guardians of the Galaxy TV spot here on the site. But!, pretty much everyone else and their Mom is posting it. So by tomorrow it’ll be totally stale biscuits. If it ain’t already. CarpeclickbaityaknowwhatImean?

OHHH, get your fucking POPCORN. There’s a pretty awesome MEGA-COMPANY slap fight going on right now. Earlier this week (I didn’t cover it I’m fucking sorry!) it was revealed that Netflix had trotted out a pretty awesome function. When Verizon was providing really fucking shitty streaming quality, The Flix would tell you. Like — don’t blame us, blame Verizon. Now a BUTT HURT VERIZON has filed a cease and desist.

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Oh man. Somewhere right now in this Universe our own Rendar Frankenstein is arching his back in a pants-splitting ejaculation rocket. Yes, it’s true. We are telepathically connected. Yes, this means I get strange boners in the middle of the night when he’s watching Only God Forgives for the 300th time in order to write a term paper about Lacanian Something Such. But it also means that *me* knowing about a Ghostbusters return to theaters means *he* also does. And I imagine he’s happy.

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I don’t know who made this, or what it’s for, but I applaud it. Our future is bright, as we ride on the coattails of the Übermensch. Danny Dorito.

It only took DC seventy-five years to unfuck a case of the Fuckeries that had laid at the feet of Batman’s co-creator, Bill Finger. As part of the Corporate Juggernaut’s celebration of Batman’s 75th anniversary, they’re giving out a free copy of Detective Comics #27. On fucking Batman Day! I’m serious. Anyways, adorning said free comic is Bill Finger’s beautiful name, finally giving the influential mind appropriate props.

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Need some salve to rub on your Wright-rubbed-raw Marvel fanboy tits? Here it is! A delectable new TV spot for Rocket Raccoon’s Merry Band Of Marauders! I’m stoked for this flick. Like, way stoked. Here. Touch my sweatpants if you’d like. Yeah. That stoked.

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Matthew McConaughey has said that he’d be up for doing more True Detective. A factoid uttered from his gorgeous mouth that contradicts pretty much everything he said in the press while the show was airing. My two worthless cents? No thanks. Cohle is one of my favorite characters in TV history, and he established his vice-like grip on my heart in a taut eight episodes. As much as I’d like to see his glorious shitstache and gaunt cheek bones one more time, his return would run contrary to so much of what made the show so fucking wonderful in the first place. Let the wonderful coda the season ended on remain its coda.

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So like, bummer. NASA has issued forth a report that finds that the agency cannot afford manned missions to Mars. Inflation and all that happy horseshit precludes the Great Journey. But they ain’t giving up, instead asking the U.S. government to up said budget. C’mon, Uncle Sam. Hook it the fuck up.

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When Microsoft announced they were cutting the mandatory cord on Kinect, Smarter People Than Me speculated that doing so could free up some processing power. Well, Egg Heads be damned. They were right. To the tune of a 10% performance boost. Yay! Yay? This is all rad and Hell, but if both parties in the NEXT-GEN (or is it now current gen?) DANCE OFF could release games specific to this new generation, that would be far more exciting than this.

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