E3 2014: Nintendo reveals Wii U ‘ZELDA’ game. Obvs coming in 2015.
I’ve been wanting a Wii U for a bit. Despite not selling particularly well, it’s amassed quite a sexy repertoire of first-party games. As seemingly all Nintendo systems as wont to do. Now it appears that I finally have a deadline for when I must acquire one by. Sort of. Nebulously. 2015. Why then? It’s when the new Zelda will be dropping.
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OBERYN x Ryu from ‘STREET FIGHTER’ = fantastic fan art
Courtesy of Mike Wrobel. Dominating the game.
E3 2014: ‘FAR CRY 4’ Gameplay Demo & First Five Minutes
DO YOU LIKE CRYING WHILE FAR AWAY? Or how about USING WEAPONIZED PACHYDERMS? Far Cry 4 won my ass last night, and it’s currently shopping around for the lube it’s going to use to pleasure it. I’m ready, willing, and eager to get on with its complete domination of my fanboy g-spot.
‘TRUE DETECTIVE’ producer says they’re “DIGGING DEEP” to get Season 2 done
Looks like the second season of True Detective is going to be the product of intense madness and dedication. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m going to say it again. Because I come from a long line of people who lose their minds and repeat their senile blatherings. You’ll know I’ve truly lost it when you find me uttering much like my Nana did, “IS CAT FOOD MADE *FOR* CATS, OR *OF* CATS?!” while wearing nothing but evidence for the effects of gravity on the human body. For now, yeah, I’m just going to repeat this: I don’t envy the people involved in following up the first season of True Detective.
E3 2014: ‘BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT’ Trailer: Gotham is a beautiful s**thole
Man. Oh man. The E3 trailer for Batman: Arkham Knight is just flat-out showing off. And I’m completely fine with that. Gotham has never looked like a more beautifully shitty playground for The Bat-Guy and his fucking stunning Batmobile to romp around.
E3 2014: ‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ dropping on PS4/XB1/PC
One of the worst kept secrets has now transmuted itself into one of the biggest “yeah no shit” announcements at E3. Rockstar games has revealed that Grand Theft Auto V is coming to the Personal Computer, as well as the PS4 and XB1. Which is neat for me, because I dun fucking goofed and didn’t get around to the title when it was released last year.
E3 2014: ‘UNCHARTED 4: A THIEF’S END’ Trailer: Drake’s Last Crusade?
There are no words or phrases that could properly describe the fanboy squeal I let out upon seeing Nathan Drake’s next-gen model. But here are some attempts: pathetic, vaguely lustful, high-pitched, horny?, excited, jacked, pumped, somewhat sad, and overly excited.
Sigourney Weaver all up in ‘AVATAR’ sequels. As a new character.
Sigourney Weaver has been spittin’ the word that she’s returning to the Avatar Universe in the sequels for a while now. Most wondered how the fuck she would, since she died in the original flick. Like didn’t flowers eat her up and shit? Man — Avatar. That fucking movie was real, and people actually paid for it. Goodness gracious. Anyways, Jimmy Cameron found a way around her death in the original movie. Just give her a new character to portray.
E3 2014: ‘FAR CRY 4’ on PS4: Friend doesn’t need game to play with you
Far Cry 4 came on the screen during Sony’s E3 presser and promptly dominated my balls. However, Sony dropped a fucking bomb just as I was imploring a friend to buy the game so we could play together. If you want a friend to join in your epic mountainous battle with elephants and locales and shit, your friend doesn’t need to own the game. Wut.
E3 2014: ‘BLOODBORNE’ Reveal Trailer: The Darkest of Next-Gen Souls
The next game from the Sadistic Bastards behind the Dark Souls franchise has made is debut at E3. It’s Bloodborne, and it looks like straight-up Nightmare Fuel.
