‘Turtle Power’ Trailer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Documentary
The official Marketing Gestapo behind the upcoming Teenage Mutant Childhood Killer (if you believe that — frankly I don’t know what the fuck to think) is putting out a direct-to-DVD documentary about the rise of the Mutated Ones. Will I buy it? No. Will I ride the High Seas to acquire it? NO. (Wink.)
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Cosplay: LARA CROFT looks worse for wear, but ready to rumble
With Rise of the Tomb Raider (I fucking deplore that name tho) revealed at E3, it only seems fitting to drop some Lara Croft cosplay. I’m stoked for the game, I’m stoked for the cosplay, the needle of Diet Dew mainlined to my heart has me prepped for death, and stoked about a lot! Hit the jump for the full shot.
E3 2014: ‘ZELDA WII U’ Gamplay Trailer: Turbo-Boner Nostalgia Hysteria
I don’t even know what the fuck to to say to you if you’re not down with this Zelda Wii-Wii-And-Me-And-U footage. It’s more or less the most taint-glazing batch of fanboy gameplay eroticism that Nintendo has trotted out since the original Super Mario Galaxy reveal in 1932. I say GODDAMN. Deliver me unto 2015.
‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ Posters: Star-Lord & Drax Are Totes Buddies
EHHHH, I don’t know. I’m running out of fucking ways to describe these Guardians of the Galaxy character posters. The two final posters completing the set have been dropped, and they’re starring Andy Dwyer and some Wrestler Guy. Get some! In your soul!
New ‘SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR’ Trailer: We’re Gonna Kill The Bad-Man!
The dialogue in Sin City: A Dame To Kill For…it’s supposed to be fucking dumb, right? I’m trying to surf that indistinguishable line between schlocky and enjoyable noir narration, and…well. A fresh batch of fecaltainment souffle.
Dustin Weaver cuts own sci-fi epic with ‘AMNIA CYCLE’ comic
How the fuck did I not know that Dustin Weaver was publishing his own glorious, free sci-fi comic book online? Fuck me sideways while wearing a Reagan mask. The jam is called Amnia Cycle, and at first blush it looks fucking radical. I’ve been a fan of The Weave (no one calls him that, just me, I’m a piece of shit) since his run on SHIELD with Hickman. Then he ripped it up on Infinity. But I’ll be goddamned if the prospect of seeing his own universe doesn’t seem just as exciting as either of those beauties.
Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (06.11.14) The Watcher is Giving You the Stink-Eye
Hola, compadres! Welcome to another very fine installment of BTFC, the only place on the internet to find the best-of-the-best comic releases on a week-to-week basis. Trust me, we’ve looked. We’re also third in hyphenate usage. So don’t be shy, step inside. This week we’ve got poor, dead Uatu’s eyball, and a bunch of comics that celebrate our never-ending culture of violence. Should be fun!
A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.
Amazon now feuding with Warner Bros, no more ‘LEGO MOVIE’ pre-orders
Man. Amazon’s already shitting on my lazy, entitled, complacent shitty life because of their beef with Hachette Books. I can’t fucking pre-order the new book in The Expanse! Fuck! Ya’ll forcing me to go to Barnes & Noble, and that’s some shit. But now they’re feuding with Warner Bros., and would-be buyers of LEGO Movie are paying the goddamn price.
E3 2014: ‘THE DIVISION’ Trailer & Gameplay Video
Listen, Bethesda. I want to be fucking faithful. I pledged my post-apocalyptic prostate to Fallout and you. You alone! But you’re dragging my ass through the dirt. Do you even care anymore? You don’t call, you won’t write back after I send you those letters filled with my kisses and pubes. And now, now The Division has come along. Can you, can you blame a guy?
