Ladies, germs.  I am not well.  What started out Monday as a simple sore throat, just the tiniest of itches, has mutated inside of me.  I am transformed now.  I feel wholly different.  I’m like Vincent D’Onofrio in Men In Black – just a human shell for an alien bug that is wearing me like a Member’s Only jacket, talking in slurred speech and a weird non-Midwestern dialect.  I feel like my mutant power is whining like an infant child.  Get Xavier on the phone, see if this is Omega Level or not.  Feels like it.  I have a few solaces, though:  hot liquids, cold ice cubes, a bunch of purple pills from Dr. Spaceman that soothe the throat but has the unfortunate side effect of “trickle nipple.”  And comics.  Comics have been a longtime sick-day savior, comforting me when medicine and absentee parenting did not.  So I venture out, my throat a hot barrel of fire.  So what if I’m Patient Zero for some new super-strain of Sarlaac Esophogeal Syndrome, I need mah comics!  And now I bring my buy-sies to you.  I’ve seen better days, sure, but sharing my weekly comic-book haul works better than any goddamned, bitter-tasting throat lozenge.  So step inside, friends.  Let’s heal through the power of funnybooks.

A full list of this week’s comics can be found right HERE.

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Hideo Kojima is hanging all sorts of Metal Gear Solid upside our fucking head today. Dropping a preview focusing on the totally gratuitous and frankly somewhat stupid wank material character Quiet. And the good sir has also teased a new Metal Gear Solid collection.

Both after the jump.

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Here’s a teaser for the trailer which is in itself will be a teaser for Mockingjay. I find myself oddly excited for the next Hunger Games movie. Like, I won’t defend the books or the movies to the hilt by any means. But they’re a nice yearly distraction, and they fulfill my blunt-object social commentary/Dystopian fix for a minute or two.

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Alan Moore has finished the first draft of his novel, Jerusalem. And it’s more than a million words. God Save The Editor! And God help whomever decides to delve into this albatross.

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Will Pharrell fucking hates cancer. He hates cancer so much that he’s launched an Indie Gogo campaign to fund a Twitch charity event he’d host. Should the fundraiser make enough money, said event is going to rock the fuck out on October 26th. But don’t take my word for it, check out the video he has made to promote it.

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I’ll give it up to Snyder. He is like the opposite of Jar Jar Abrams or whatever. Dick-Lords leak pictures of his Batmobile? He ain’t going to sit around and let that low-quality bullshit build “intrigue”, nah. Mystery. Not even. He’s going to drop an official look. Let it rub against our geek prostate. Cooing to us.

After the jump.

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Unlike most of my venomous, emotionally erratic posts about Batman vs Superman, Feat: Zack Snyder vs Good Filmmaking, I’m not going to be hatin’ in this one. Nope! Not at all. I’m just here to show you some pictures of the new Batmobile that have leaked. And if you’d fucking believe it, I actually sort of dig it.

Potential spoilers lay beyond the JUMP, BROS.

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I fucking love the people who Guard the Galaxy movie. And while a lot of what I love about the movie was things I expected, I never anticipated loving Drax as much as I did. So if Marvel wants to stuff him (and frankly *all* the Guardians) into Avengers 3? Yes please.

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Microsoft is looking to get into the fucking Minecraft game even harder. To the tune of $2 billion dollars. I say goddamn!, that’s a lot of mines being crafted. (What does that mean, Caff? Absolutely nothing!)

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Don’t worry, Bros. We’re still going to be able to get good and oiled-up. Play a second round of volleyball. Enjoy a second round of America, Fuck Yeah! After going silent for a bit after the passing of Tony Scott, the Top Gun sequel is gaining traction.

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