‘Bond 24′ Rumor: Christoph Waltz is playin’ classic villain Blofeld
I’m about to show what an ignorant turd-huffer I am when it comes to Bond. There are rumors that Christoph Waltz is going to be playing Blofeld, who is a classic villain from the franchise. Anddd…I don’t know the dude.
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Monday Morning Commute: Bodyslam Ingratitude
It is Thanksgiving this week in the heart of the Empire. Say what you will about the manipulative mythos that has conjured such a holiday. Say it to the wind. Say it to people outside of the local Walmart. But know this. I think it is wonderful to celebrate a day where family, and gratitude are paramount, regardless of your ideological inclination. And so a wild anarchist like yours truly can still find himself sitting down this Thursday to cop to the warm, fuzzy embrace of familial gluttony and momentary harmony. I’m goddamn glad to be here. And for everything I have.
So while it isn’t a typical work cycle, still I offer up Monday Morning Commute. The column where we share what we’re looking forward to during a given week. This iteration filled with 100% more mashed potatoes than usual.
‘Breaking Bad’ director Michelle MacLaren developing and directing ‘Wonder Woman’
Well, shit! Here I was thinking that DC’s cinematic universe was cursed to be populated with intellectual effluent like Zack Snyder. But along comes Michelle MacLaren to direct Wonder Woman, giving me hope at least momentarily. Fuck yeah!
‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ Gameplay Trailer: Unfathomable Badassery
Fucking resent this trailer for Batman: Arkham Knight. This shit ain’t dropping any time soon, and Rocksteady goes and hangs this fucking stunning gameplay trailer on our heads. Or perhaps around our necks like the Noose called Time. We are just waiting. WAITING. The noose hanging. Heavily. Cutting into our skin. WAITING. For this stunning piece of shit to arrive.
Space-Swoon: Highest-Res look at Europa’s Surface
Ooph! Ain’t this a fucking dazzling display of Europa’s surface. NASA space-wizards have done something-such beyond my means of comprehension to achieve this beauty. Assembling a variety of pictures and uh, processing and stuff. They can explain it better than I can.
Rumor: First ‘Star Wars’ spin-off movie is a f**king heist flick
How about a Star Wars flick that’s a heist movie? Well I say goddamn! Amazing. And I know. All Star Wars all the time around here. Listen, I’m sorry. Listen, just endure. I beg you. It won’t be like this always. But I have a tattoo of Salacious Crumb on my testicles and my middle name was legally changed to “Dag..Dagohbah…Daohgbahaha System?” because I liked Empire but couldn’t figure out the spelling. I was seven. So like this excitement and obsession is genetically encoded into me. This too shall pass. But until it does! FUCK.
Panic Not: ‘The Force Awakens’ trailer dropping in multiple theater chains
It appears that Regal Cinemas just decided to fuck up my fanboy morning with anxiety. I was like, nine fucking theaters? One fucking chain? I was already planning fucking road trips and shit. But naw, they just dropped the news early. Multiple movie chains shall be carrying The Force Awakens’ first trailer. Thank fuck.
‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ trailer debuting in nine f**king cinemas this weekend
Oh Disney. You shit-ass. Debuting the Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer in only nine Regal Cinemas. The closest one to me in NYC. Which means that if I want to see it, I’ll fittingly have to descend into the most Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy I can imagine. I’m hoping, like, as Riff pointed out to me in response to a frantic text, that maybe these are just the Regal cinemas that are playing it?
‘Jurassic World’ Teaser Trailer: Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Dinosaurs #TiredMeme
Ya’ll want a teaser trailer for the Jurassic World teaser trailer? #INCEPTIONHORN?!?! Well, you fucking got it.
