Fallout: New Vegas Images From IGN Promote Gamma Irradiated Climaxes

Sexy Destruction

[click for entire sexy wasteland painting]

IGN is bringing the heat with these Fallout: New Vegas images from their preview. Jesus Christ, this game is going to be hot. As hot as an atomic bomb! Fucking get it!?! No! Fuck you!

Click the images to embiggen them.

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Burn the Evil!

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Bulletstorm Screens Induce Bonerstorm. Yeah, I Don’t Even Try Anymore.

WTF is going on in this picture?

[via all games beta]

All Games Beta has a bunch of new Bulletstorm screens. YES. I’m fucking stoked for Bulletstorm, and I made that clear recently. It’s going to ultra-violent, absurd, and featuring drunk space pirates. If you can’t get behind that, you’re a douchebag. Head over to AGB for the rest of the scans. Of which, there are a shitload.

Craziness!

Marvel Reveals First Picture of Thor. I Want Him In My Asgard.

OMFG, Sweet.

[via cbr]

Marvel dropped the first picture from the Thor movie today. And you know what? I am fucking loving it. Dude looks bad ass. I’ll wield his hammer! Hahahaha. I AM MIGHTY ENOUGH F U.

Zangief’s Spinning Lariat Is The Answer To Life’s Problems

SPINNING FUCKING LARIAT

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown wiser. Much wiser. I don’t want to toot my horn, but with enough undergraduate philosophy courses to complete two degrees, I’ve spanned the spectrum of intellectual debate. Because of this, I’ve gleamed insight the average mouthbreather can’t fathom, and I’d like to impart on you some of that knowledge.

Every and any problem in life can be fixed by a spinning lariat. Zangief and Mother Russian will show you the way.

Boyfriend treating you poorly?

Spinning Lariat that motherfucker.

Cat in a tree?

Spinning Lariat that fucking piece of bark.

Bills overdue?

Spinning Lariat those nuisances.

Car not working?

Spinning Lariat the engine into mush!

Episode of LOST making you homicidal?

Spinning Lariat that fucking LCD!

It’s elementary.

You’re all fucking welcome.

Damon Lindelof Says LOST Finale Will Have Us “Theorizing”, Probably On Why It “Sucked”

faraday

I can’t tell if I love Damon Lindelof, or if I find him incredibly smug and self-satisfied. I think it’s probably a little of both. So when he drops shit like:

via slashfilm:

If you’re expecting Lost to end with definitive answers think again. The Hollywood Reporter conducted an interview with Lost co-creator-showrunner Damon Lindelof, who revealed that the series finale will “end lost in a way that feels ‘Lost’-ian and fair and will generate a tremendous amount of theorizing.

I can’t tell if I love it, or if I’m annoyed. Lindelof, listen brother. I love you, I love LOST. But this season has been a Shit Hill with diamonds scattered amongst the partially digested corn kernels. So cut the shit, stop acting like you’re the man, and so help me, please don’t blow it. You have five episodes left.

I’m find with theorizing. I’m find with mysteries and unexplained phenomenology. See: Final Fantasy VII [prior to the movie], Battlestar Galactica, and The Beginning of The Cosmos.

What I’m not cool with is Transdimensional Love-Based Denouements, Sappy Heavy-Handed Exposition, and Kate, Sun, Jin, and Claire.

And David Shephard.

Images & Words – Ultimate Avengers 2 #1

Ultimate Avengers 2

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Spoilers Ahead. Forreal.

Holy shit. I really am a goddamn fanboy.

This is the realization I came to when doing the prep-work for this week’s Images & Words (see: reading comic books). While I believe in the power of comics as a medium first and foremost, I can’t help but willingly belly-flop into some of its pitfalls. Dudes with capes battling nefarious evil-doers. Womenfolk with impossible boobs and butts. Over-the-top splash pages. It’s all so damn glorious.

And the reigning king, the master of the dominion that is Nerd Manor, is Mark Millar. And that’s why we’ve written about him once or twice at OL. The man knows how to take the time-tested characters and put just enough spin on them to make them interesting again while retaining those properties we fell in love with in the first place. In short, Millar rules.

So I really shouldn’t feel bad about awarding yet another Millar book a spot on Images & Words. I shouldn’t. Seriously. But when I concluded that the pick of the week would be Ultimate Avengers 2 #1 I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had just given a Mark Millar comic the weekly feature…oh wait a second…I did…just last week.

Fuck it, this is my post and I make the damn rules. I am the arbiter of the OMEGA-COMIX-ZONE! I rule with a turkey drumstick in one hand and a paneled page in the other! Fear my lack of hygiene! Admire my useless knowledge! Now, step off my Nikes, you’re going to smudge them you prick!

*Ahem* Sorry. It’s been a long day.

Anyways, this introductory issue of Ultimate Avengers 2 shakes the narrative ropes like the Ultimate Warrior. The first caption reads “The Punisher gets busy” and is followed by eight pages wholly dedicated to various murders committed by Frank Castle. While most Marvel readers know that the Punisher’s methods often border on pure sadistic savagery, this first third of the comic takes the uninitiated and throws them into the deep-end without any floaties. “Swim kid, swim for your life!”

Millar’s Punisher is a man whose heart has truly been blackened and swept away by the wind. Without remorse, he guns down not only the targeted criminals but also anyone unfortunate enough to be (even loosely) affiliated with them. It’s unadulterated brutality.

In one instance we see Castle shoot a potentially innocent man. Hoping to be spared, the man pleads, “…I have two young sons. I do not even know these people. I am just their driver, man.” In another scene, the Punisher is reminded that one of his most recent targets, though a criminal, was still only in high school. For all intents and purposes, this is an exaggerated, hyperbolic version of the character. Which is interesting, because his status as a hero (or, I suppose, anti-hero) has to be called into question.

Punishing

Of course, there’s a sting operation and right when Frank Castle thinks he’s going to nab some Russian mobster, Captain America pops out and fucks his shit up. Ah, good `ole Stevie Rogers, always willing to arrest people convicted of murdering “over two hundred people.” Once in custody, Castle is informed by Nick Fury and Black Widow that the only way he can stay off of Death Row is to lead a black ops team tasked with doing the dirty work that Captain America and his buddies aren’t willing to deal with.

Right now, I’m not 100% sure how I feel about this whole bad boy working for the good guys plot. If it turns into nothing more than Frank Castle and Steve Rogers punching each other out in the name of conflicting ideologies, I fear I’ll be a bit disappointed. But if we get to see these two heroes look past their differences for the sake of beating villainous ass, well then I’m all in. Either way, the first issue of Ultimate Avengers 2 instills enough faith to remain optimistic and so I plan on doing so. Remaining. Optimistic, that is.

Thus far, the true beauty of Ultimate Avengers 2 is found in its art. Leinil Francis Yu rocks a pencil with a precision and detail that would make surgeons weep. When Frank Castle brains someone, blood is expelled not in a single horror-movie stream, but with miniscule droplets and tiny rivulets streaming all about. When a body is flung into a car window, it really seems as though millions of shards of glass are going to fly off of the page. Hell, he even makes a black eye fold over with multiple creases the way they actually do.

Another thing I love about Yu’s pencils (and an open source of debate between Caffeine Powered and me) is that not all of the lines are cleaned up or erased. In fact, a lot of them remain and are inked right over. I love this shit. I think it hits the reader’s subconscious, reminding him that what is being experienced is a fucking comic book. Not a photograph. But a comic book, a series of real drawings that were crafted by an artist.

Again, I’m not sure where Ultimate Avengers 2 is going. It has the potential to be campier and more ridiculous than its predecessor, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But so far, the big violent roller-coaster of a sequel has come out of the gate and ascended the first peak. Arms up, motherfuckers.

XBOTS Shit Their Pants As Bungie Goes Multiplatform While Sony Cackles

MICROSOFT FANBOY QQ TIME

For years, Xbox fanboys have clung to Bungie. The studio has severed as a legit binkie for all sorts of choads and dickwads to use in their PS3 vs 360 argument. Now all that shit is going to change. With Bungie leaving Microsoft and signing a deal with Activision, the motherfuckers who made fat dudes and dorks ejaculate onto their Halo 3 Ridiculous Edition Spartan Helmet are going multiplatform. You can almost hear the screams of the legions of unwashed masses.

So how about Sony, who is obviously going to let Bungie slither into their disc tray with a grand smile. How are those fuckers feeling? Fucking fantastic:

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THERE WAS NO LOST THIS WEEK; THANK GOODNESS

God and Jesus Sitting In A Tree

I was relieved that there wasn’t any LOST this week. All of my friends, from the Rocking Tommy to Patrick Mars expressed the same relief and satisfaction that I felt. It was nice. So I’m going to kick it to you guys, what’d you do on your night off from LOST this week?

Me? I hung out with my lady. Got home from school, macked on some delicious dinner she cooked (she’s far too good for me, don’t tell her), hung out and watched some sports, zoning out. I returned home, and hit the scholarly articles with a vengenance. I didn’t seethe or grasp my skull in agony or despair.

SMOKEY

I may be at the point where I’m ready to call this season a disappointment. Now listen. I think that the show can ultimately rock. The next five episodes can blow my fucking mind. But when 50% of the season has been blegh.com, isn’t that ultimately considered a disappointment? Or do you consider an amazing conclusion a salve for all the chapped-asses that have arisen from Transdimensional Lovecore and other bullshit? I’m actually not sure where I stand on that one.

The week off is probably good for my tolerance of the show as a whole. I actually miss it at this point, despite the last episode pushing my blood pressure to precarious levels. I’m ready to give it a pass if next week brings the heat.

What’d you guys do this Tuesday night? Are you ready for next week’s episode? Does disappointment come from the majority of the episodes being ass, or does it come from it concluding in an unsatisfying manner.

Just because there wasn’t any LOST don’t mean we can’t get some conversation going.

[p.s: watch flashfoward]

I Still Have a Crush on Rei Ayanami. Like, 14 Years Later.

<3 Rei Ayanami

[via kotaku]

Neon Genesis Evangelion is one of those monumental experiences that occurred in my teenage years, that shaped who I was. No lie. It goes Star Wars, Final Fantasy VII, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Broadband Pornography. NGE drifts into the back of my mind, but things like this figure bring all the old warm fuzzy feelings both in my heart and my crotch up the forefront.

SHINJI-KUN.

LAUNCH EVA.

TEENAGE HIGH SCHOOL BONER.

Activision and Bungie Decide To 69 And Form Gaming Euphoria Union Time

NO LONGER FOR XBOTS ONLY

Activision, who already owns the fucking gaming universe, just got more powerful. They’ve struck a deal with Bungie to publish their post-Halo games for the next ten years. G’damn!

via kotaku:

According to the official press release, “Under the terms of the agreement, Activision will have exclusive, worldwide rights to publish and distribute all future Bungie games based on the new intellectual property on multiple platforms and devices. Bungie remains an independent company and will continue to own their intellectual property.” From the sound of it, Activision gets to publishing rights to one IP on multiple platforms. This agreement certainly does not mean that Bungie is part of Activision.

It’s pretty fucking impressive. The company that has Guitar Hero, World of Warcraft, and Call of Duty just got fanboy faves into the their stable. You can lead anything with a fucking fuckload of fucking cash to uh, developmental water. Or something. It’s a pretty dope deal for Activision too, since Infinity Ward is all but eviscerated, and who the fuck knows what’s going to happen with the Modern Warfare splinter of the Call of Duty franchise.