[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Bodacious babes and brutal bros.

This is one phrase that comes to mind when I think of Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis. Three issues in and the miniseries is maintaining its appeal, which is rooted in the balancing of a grim storyline with vibrant illustrations. Some might suggest that such lighthearted art isn’t appropriate for what is essentially a parable about genocide. But to these detractors, I offer the analogy of chasing Jim Beam with Coca-Cola; the mouth may find reprieve, but the throat will still burn and the head will still reel.

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Source: zero-lives via Gamefreaks

God damn, I always hated finding my way out of those fucking woods.

[Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays  is a (theoretically) weekly column where show you my worlds. Both real and virtual. Then, I invite you to share your own worlds in the comments!]

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Back in July, the Spicy Mulleted Maestro of Gaming Evil, Billy Mitchell, reclaimed the Donkey Kong high score record. Dude posted a 1,062,800 on the same day that he was inducted into the Video Game Hall of Fame. Mitchell, as made famous by the documentary The King of Kong is a real life villain. In that sort of cool, Darth Vader with a sexy haircut style. Brash, pimpin’, owner of his own line of hot sauce, and not really giving a fuck. I know there’s a lot to do about how fairly a documentary sets up a narrative as accurately reflecting reality but who cares.

‘Cause over the weekend, good prevailed. Well-manufactured, carefully edited good. But dammit, we need our narratives, don’t we?

Steve Wiebe, the average dude and dorky school teacher reclaimed the mantle from ole Willy Mitchell. Wiebe dropped a thunderous 1,064,500 point-effort back on August 20, and it was confirmed a couple of days ago.

How fantastic is this shit? The battle between the two of them was captured in said documentary, and it continues to rage to this day. You just know that somewhere, when Mitchell found out, he immediately pimp-slapped one of his lackeys who was giving him a pedicure and busted ass towards one of the last standing Chuck E. Cheese’s to try and topple Steve.

I love the entire thing. I love Mitchell, his swagger, and his awesome hair. I love how he embraces his role as villain. And as a frumpy dork like Wiebe, I actively root for him with all my bleeding heart. The two of them are engaged in some epic shit.

I’m a huge fan of the Cold War, and all the espionage and tactics that went into it. For a while now, I’ve felt that I missed my calling as a suave-ass spy like James Bond. Let’s ignore the fact that I’m neither suave, nor particularly adroit at anything other than stubbing my toe and not washing myself. This unspoken feeling was confirmed yesterday when I came across the news that I possess en masse an essential quality that all spies must have: semen.

Well, sort of.

According to MI6: The History of the Secret Intelligence Service 1909-1949, a book dropping this week, MI6 experimented with using semen as the coup de grâce of invisible ink. The sort of shit that you simply can’t make up. According to the book:

A member of staff close to “C”, Frank Stagg, said that he would never forget his bosses’ delight when the Deputy Chief Censor said one day that one of his staff had found out that “semen would not react to iodine vapour.” Stagg noted that “we thought we had solved a great problem”.

Amazing. It explains a lot of things, namely why Bond was always around slamming the hottest chick he could find. You think he was doing it for love of the flesh? The temptation to sin? Hardly, dudes. The man was merely manufacturing some ink to go about writing some reconnaissance files. After all these years, we finally have a greater understanding of Bond, and the spy archtype. Philanders? More like poets.

Furthermore, it brings great joy to know that I have enough secret spy ink on my futon to pen The Long Telegram. I’ve been training to be a spy for so many years, without even knowing it.

Via.

About a year ago I saw David Cross in Boston. The show was hilarious and made even more special by the fact that it was taped for release. But what was especially memorable was the fact that Cross previewed five minutes of a new series. He said that the project was being developed for English TV but that he was hopeful it would hit this side of the Atlantic via DVD.

Well, a year later and we’re only a couple weeks away from The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret‘s premiere on IFC. Reunited with fellow Arrested Development alum Will Arnett, Cross plays a hapless sap who falls into the (in)opportunity of moving to England to champion sales for his company. The product? ThunderMuscle – an energy drink of unprecedented strength.

The full pilot has been released online by IFC and I’ve embedded it below for your convenience. Check this shit out, it’s some of the funniest TV I’ve seen in a damn long while. Highlights include Todd Margaret’s experimentation with ThunderMuscle, a caffeinated experience that leads him to the following self-description:

“I’m like Rocky and Rocky III – combined! I’m like, if Rocky II fucked Rocky IV – BOOM! – Rocky V!”

Enjoy.

Source: Super Punch

Fuck some lame ass cross around my neck. If I’m going to sport anything big reppin’ Mr. Christ, it’s going to be this figure adorning my computer desk. Water into wine? That’s fucking last week, duder. This Jesus Christ turns the faces of evil into mush. Hell yeah.

Holy shit. If this isn’t the most gorgeous thing ever, I don’t know what is. The packaging for the Star Wars x Adidas sneakers is a fucking blister pack, reminiscent of the Hasbro packaging many of us Star Wars nerds have blasted through to unleash Dagobah Luke. Wait, you didn’t open yours? Then how the fuck were you supposed to renact his training in the backyard? Weird.

Fuck yeah, tomorrow is comic book day, and I’m all amplified for this shit. This is the week of epic viking Gods. Blood and Thunder! A little mid-week tomfoolery in the land of face smashing wunder-hammers. Are you excited? You can bet your bottom goddamn dollar I’m stoked. Let’s hit the list of comic books I’m excited for tomorrow.

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Thor #615
I’ll make you a square fucking deal. I’ll stop blathering about the nineteen Thor titles when they stop stacking them with primo talent. Aiight? Fair deal? This week, Matt Fraction and Pasqual Ferry’s run on Thor proper starts. And Jesus Christ, if I’m not beyond excited. Fraction, my current writer crush and inspiration beyond measure, spends most of his time unleashing mainstream brilliance on Invincible Iron Man. He follows that with interdimensional space-bound insanity with his creator owned Casanova. And oh yeah? He describes his run on Thor as “epic space metal.”

Ferry ain’t no slouch either. His preview art for this debut issue did nothing less than make me arch my back in a furious nerdgasm.

I’ll admit that I bemoan the excessive amount of Avengers titles, and in a fit of hypocrisy, have found myself excited for nearly every Thor title announced. But when you stack them with Fraction and Hickman and Langridge? Unfathomable awesomeness.

Serious aside: Thor with beard, or sans beard? I can’t decide.

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Skullkickers #1
This comic book is titled Skullkickers. It’s also being billed for “dork dicksores who like Army of Darkness.” Awesome. And apparently it’s already sold out at the distribution level. Even a dumbass such as myself can sense something special going here. I mean, Jesus Christ, to reiterate, it’s called Skullkickers. In a week seeing Thor’s continual dominance as the God of Thunder and Dorks Like Me Who Play Warcraft, this title seems like a perfect compliment. Two dudes wrapped up in an assassination plot who punch werewolves in the face and engage in witty banter. Sold.

Slap something new into your pull list and roll the dice on this one. At the very least, you can probably sell it for a decent mark-up in a couple of months when people coming late to the party can’t bring themselves to wait for the trade paperback.

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Nemesis #3
Confession time: even a staunch Millar fanboy such as myself is beginning to fatigue of the guy. Overexposure in motion is enshrouding the dude. He’s got this title, Kick-Ass, and the forthcoming Superior. All creator owned titles that he’s constantly wanking off as being in some sort of movie production. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. We get it. Then there’s the movie he’s making on his own. Which he called “X-Men Meets Trainspotting.”

Fantastic.

Then there’s the fact that all of his titles have gotten to the point of being pretty mediocre. Back when I was repping Nemesis #1 as being awesome low-minded action, a reader pointed out that this was pretty much Millar’s calling card. And while I bristled at the time, I’m officially onboard with the notion. People swearing a lot, little girls stabbing people, ultra-violence and depravity. Yawn. This is coming from someone who is clearly a fan of all of the above. But it’s overdone and being mashed into paste, bro.

Nemesis was already the obvious Batman As Bad Guy title, but the second issue was remarkable in the fact that it stole directly from The Dark Knight. Wait, the villain wants to be capture? Stop me if I’ve seen this somewhere before. I stared at the page, thinking, Like, Really? That’s what you got for me?

Damn.

Even a fanboy like me. A bit fatigued.

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Eulogy: Wildstorm Closes
Hijacking my own column to comment on the news today that the imprint Wildstorm is closing. The bastard child of Jim Lee nearly twenty-years ago, it gave birth to both Planetary and The Authority, as well as Wildcats and Gen 13. Most recently, Brian Wood’s DV8 was resurrecting the Gen 13 spin-off and was my favorite X-Men book that wasn’t an X-title at all.

It’s a bummer to see an imprint closing. Sure, an imprint which probably wasn’t financially tenable any longer, but none the less. Lee has commented that they have plans for the characters that are being shuttered, and I puke a little when I imagine them being folded into the DC Universe.

Every time the comic book industry shrinks a little less, a certain pall strikes a little cord in my comic book heart. Even if the Wildstorm-verse had stopped entertaining me for a while, it was nice seeing a realm without Wolverine or Superman persist for as long as it had. Maybe if the quality of the titles was higher, fans would have stuck around. But maybe the fans not sticking around is what prohibited them from drawing the larger names.

Who knows?

I sure don’t.

Rest in peace, Apollo and Midnighter. Easily my favorite gay couple in comic books. When Batman and Superman made out, we all won.

Fuck to the yes. Click the image to enlarge this sexalicious promo poster for the upcoming television adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s Walking Dead comic book. Word, that’s an enormous sentence. Anyways, I am one of the legion of dorks awaiting this premiere. AMC screams quality. Mad Men, Breaking Bad and Rubicon are three of my favorite television shows, and I’m pretty sure I can already chalk this up to joining the list.