Robert Downey Jr. and Shane Black worked together on the flick Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I have not seen this movie, but more than one person has told me that I’m a douchebag. Well, specifically for this, though I’ve been called it for many, many reasons. Now Shane Black is apparently up to reunite with RDJ on Iron Man 3.

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Clint Mansell is fucking amazing. If you don’t get down with the soundtracks to Requiem, the Fountain, or Moon – simply put: fuck you. Mass Effect is my favorite franchise going. Now they’re combining. They’re slopping their muck together, gooey awesomeness slathering the walls of my brain. Clint Mansell is scoring Mass Effect 3. Did I do something to earn this reward?

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Arp 147 is a straight-up galactic collective. It is composed of two galaxies that collided way back in the past, the results of which have set off a ring of awesome.

New Scientist:

[The galaxies collided in the past which triggered]  a wave of star formation (blue ring in galaxy at right).  A number of these stars exploded as supernovae, producing black holes. Some of these, thought to weigh 10 to 20 times as much as the sun, shine brightly in X-rays (pink blobs) as they rob matter from companion stars.

Arp 147 is currently the dopest one-two galactic punch in the universe. That I know about.

[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

The first to go in, Riff found himself wondering why Ray Dean had called her the Woman in Gray Robes. The moniker wasn’t inaccurate. But he thought a far more distinguishing title would have been The Lady with the Eyepatch. He just couldn’t take his eyes off that damn circle of black swatch.

One may be inclined to think that strapping an eyepatch on a beautiful face would be like smearing shit on a painting. But in this candlelit room, the smoke of incense and cigarettes swirling about, it was more akin to adding the cherry to an ice cream sundae.

Necessary to legitimize the entire experience.

Sitting on a small beanbag chair, the fortuneteller waved Riff towards her. “Come, come, child. Sit down with me. You are intrigued by my eye, are you not?”

Riff tacitly nodded as he found his seat.

“Don’t be afraid. I may have a restricted license and Jaws 3D was a waste of time, but I can still see better than most. Much better.”

Rimina flashed a smile, knowing that the teenager before her was opening up enough for divinations. “Lean in,” her sultry voice commanded, “and I will free your mind from the chains of the flesh. The shackles of the material. The handcuffs of the temporal. Come with me.”

Rimina took an extended drag from her cigarette. Held it in. Returned the cigarette to an ashtray. And then she took both of Riff’s hands into her own and exhaled…

Guitars. Lots of guitars, being played by an older version of the antihero. Sometimes, the smoke swirled in a direction so that Riff could see himself playing music on stage. Sometimes the stage was small. Sometimes the stage was large. Sometimes there were huge crowds of people watching the shredder demonstrate his craft. Was that Castle Donington? He wasn’t sure. But it sure looked like it. Other times, the bluish carcinogenic wisps danced in revelation of a guitarist playing a true solo — hiding away in some room, under self-imposed isolation with an acoustic guitar. The fingers of the hazy figure flew over the fretboard with a precision and speed that the world’s best surgeons could only dream of. A quick flash — the tombstone – an enforcer of the law – the father — the tyrant — dead — gone – thankfully — not missed. A return to the guitar, now slung over the shoulder. The guitarist iseen walking on the road. A future of some uncertainty… and some certainty. Hidden hardships in store, no doubt, but with the guarantee of a face pained chiefly by its grin of accomplishment.

“Heed my words — this is but one of the many, a mere sliver of a broken shard from the entire mirror of existence, whose inward reflections of itself far outnumber the outward. This fate has been neither determined nor surrendered. If it pleases you, think of it with cautious optimism. If it displeases you, change yourself so that you may best fit within this world.”

[to be continued]

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NGC 2174 ain’t your average nebulae. No sir. Instead it’s the stomping grounds. A battlefield where cosmic forces are throwing down.

NASA:

The energetic light and winds from massive newly formed stars are evaporating and dispersing the dark stellar nurseries in which they formed. The structures of NGC 2174 are actually much thinner than air and only appear as mountains due to relatively small amounts of opaque interstellar dust. A lesser known sight in the nebula-rich constellation Orion, NGC 2174 can be found with binoculars near the head of the celestial hunter.

About 6,400 light-years distant, the entire glowing cosmic cloud covers an area larger than the full Moon and surrounds loose open clusters of young stars. The above image from the HubbleSpace Telescope shows a dense interior region which spans only about three light years while adopting a color map that portrays otherwise red hydrogen emission in green hues and emphasizes sulfur emission in red and oxygen in blue. Within a few million years, the stars will likely win out completely and the entire dust mountain will be dispersed.

C’est La Vie. Or uh, C’est La Existence or something.

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We all know Kevin Butler, right? The doughy guy who stars in the PS3 commercials? Was funny at first, but like all campaigns has overstayed his welcome? Today, the same “Kevin Butler” on Twitter – an entity I assume maintained by a bunch of now-fired PR people – retweeted the PS3 root key. Whoops.

Twitter peep dude Travis La Marr tweeted the root key to the account belonging to “Butler”, I assume knowing that Butler wasn’t the real deal and the person(s) behind it wouldn’t know what it was. “Butler” took the bait and retweeted it making a Battleship reference.

Double whoops.

Outstanding.

Spider-Man is joining the Fantastic Four in Future Foundation, the title effectively replacing F4 in the Marvel line. Let’s talk more after the break, where the dying member of the F4 will be exposed. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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What a long ass week it’s been. Exhausted and daunted by papers, I returned home today. To find this, which has blown my mind and made my existence. A lady pole dancing to a half-dub remix of the Harry Potter theme by Terabyte Frenzy. It’s crucial.

Hit the jump to have your day made.

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Can you hear those crickets chirping, mon ami? That’s how slow of a news work it was in the world of Cage. He didn’t buy anything or yell at anyone on the street! WTF!?

To make clicking “Read the rest of the entry” worth your while, I had to do something I’ve been avoiding since Cage Match began: write about The Croods. Never heard of it? That’s cool, I wish I never did. Well, let’s (begrudgingly) do this.

Drive Angry 3D Red Band Trailer; Oh Hell Yes

My goal in life used to be “beat Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out.” Now it’s “stay alive long enough to see Drive Angry.” The tongue-in-cheek red band trailer was released earlier this week and it features so, so many awesome clips. From Amber Heard punching a topless girl in the face to severed limbs to Cage sneering at everything (IN 3D), this is why red band trailers exist, folks. This is gearing up to be the exploitation flick of the year and I’m moderately excited *flips over coffee table, punches out all the windows in the house*

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The above is Lindsay Lohan back when she was something resembling a human being. This human being no longer exists. The good news is that apparently she’s up for a role as alien villainess Ursa in the Superman Reboot. Oh, Frat Boy Rock, you’re a bananas. Bananas like zounds.

Slashfilm:

Gossip website TMZ is reporting that  Lindsay Lohan is up for a major female role in  Zack Snyder‘s  Superman reboot. According to the site, “Lindsay’s people have had multiple phone conversations within the last few weeks with the people behind the new  Superman reboot” and they’re “supposed to meet personally with the  Supermanpeople soon.” The role isn’t Lois Lane, however, more than likely it’s Ursa, a Kryptonian baddie that  we now know is currently being cast.

Insanity, right? I ignored this bullshit when it was posted on a couple of other sites this morning. But by the time it made Slashfilm? I figured it was worth mentioning. Sure, nothing’s worth much in the Churn Factory that is the Netterwebs, but the mind boggles at the possibility.

The problem with this news is that Lindsay Lohan is about to be charged with grand theft larceny. I would say that considerably lowers her chances of being cast. However, just the fact that she was ever considered for a role is fucking outstanding.