DC New Website Has Exclusive ‘Before Watchmen’ Content. Burn It!
Oh goody! There’s a new DC website launching, and it’s going to have oodles if Before Watchmen content. I wonder if Anonymous is busy?
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Strange Moments in Solid Movies: Prefaced Insanity and Keanu Reeves and Uma Thurman Make Beautiful Music Together in Dangerous Liaisons
First things first: a self-indulgent, rambling preface.
I love movies, especially good, solid movies that work cohesively. I watch movies a lot, hoping that they will all accomplish what they set out to do (or, rather, what I think each is trying to do). Of course, every movie cannot be all-time success, because for there to be a good, there has to be a bad, and vice versa; it’s just how it works out. But when I see a solid movie, I take particular pleasure in not just how it works overall–in a well-made, impressive fashion–but how each part adds up to its collective impressive functionality. And when you watch movies a lot, you tend to become more aware of how specific moments, scenes, even sequences function within the stories being told. Ostensibly, these moments are all included in the final work for a reason–and I don’t think that it’s a stretch to say that the inclusions were made in an attempt to better it in an overall way, be they by simple character clarifications or complex expansions of the story’s universe.
ComiXology Has Had Over 50 Million Downloads; How Many Are Paid Though?
comiXology may very well be the shape of comic book things to come. You know, when the funny book farms have their doors closed and their windows shuttered. Some interesting stats have been revealed about the service, namely how many downloads there have been and just how big of a month last goddamn December was for them.
Kristen Bell Lands Lead In Disney’s SNOW QUEEN Adaptation, ‘Frozen’. My Glands On Swole
Things that make me babble incoherently: caffeine, Diablo III news, Kristen Bell. A perma-crush of mine, she has been cast in the Disney adaptation of Snow Queen called Frozen. Cyeah.
Video: Propane-Powered NERF Dart Cannon. Why? ‘Cause We Can
This is a video of a propane-powered NERF dart cannon. Powerful enough to dent a motherfucking whiteboard. Why? ‘Cause this is America and we love freedom.
Hit the jump. Bask in the glory.
‘Batman: Year One’ Aritst: Don’t Buy The New DC Reprint. Douches
David Mazzucchelli is the artist behind the seminal Batman: Year One, and he has a message for you. Don’t fucking buy the latest DC reprint. He’s got his reasons, and I respect the dude. I mean, c’mon. He’s David fucking Mazzucchelli.
Cosplay: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle…Dog.
Well hey good morning! Wash it down with this. Cowabunga, bitches! (Get it, pun? Eh forget it!)
[Via]
Monday Morning Commute: Ms. Americana 1973
I’ll never forget the night I fucked Miss Americana 1973.
We’d met earlier in the evening for some casual drinks. Sitting in the Holo-Lounge, we ran a huge tab and sparred with one another. We both pulled punches, knowing that the other was far too vulnerable to be dealt a true blow. She was as defenseless against my clever quips as I was against her cheekbones and ass. Oh boy, was I defenseless when I was against her ass!
Anyways, banging a supermodel in a space station hotel suite is hardly an event worthy of a bedpost-notching. Hell, the name R. Frankenstein isn’t on three different brands of jetpack-vibrators because my stinky-little-peenie hasn’t gone off-planet. No, I’ll never forget my sexual encounter with Miss Americana 1973 because of what she gave me.
My first LSTD experience.
She had just climaxed, yanking out a clump of my hair and pouring a bottle of Pepsi on my belly (per my request) when I started to feel…off. At first I chalked up the tingling at the back of my head to either coital-bliss or an impending tumor. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling persisted. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling grew stronger. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling turned into music.
And then the walls began melting and Roger Rabbit materialized so that he could tickle my ass and Miss Americana 1973 metamorphosed into a squid-creature that would’ve made even the likes of Lovecraft squirm and cry like a babby and then I began to cum but my dick shot out staples instead of ejaculate but I felt no pain only the wonder of producing steel from my sexual reproductive organ and I had to apologize to my squid-lover of the evening because I had shot staples all over his back but I made sure to clean them up with a rainbow.
When I awoke the next morning, Miss Americana 1973 was nowhere to be found. It seemed that I was completely alone in the suite. But then I closed my eyes and I saw that I had visitors – the spellbinding memories from the night before.
The remembrances of my first sexually-transmitted hallucinogenic experience.
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Hello to all of you – the heroes, bombshells, brats, nerds, Capitalist-hating-Commies, stuntmen, nurses, Commie-hating-Capitalists, post-modern Romantics – that visit Omega-Level? Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, your spot for sharing the various means by which you’ll survive the workweek. Hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be reading, watching, playing, eating, or listening to this week.
It’s internet show-and-tell at its most dastardly.
DC’s ‘Captain Marvel’ Now Officially Known As ‘Shazam!’, Looks Brooding As Hell
Captain Marvel is debuting in Justice League #7, and he’s going to finally be called what we’ve all mistakenly referred to him as for years: Shazam! Check out what Geoff Johns has to say about the character, and dig on his totally brooding first look.
Video: ‘The Simpsons’ Parodies ‘Game of Thrones’ Intro.
Yeah, I don’t care about The Simpsons, but I’m a gluttonous douche for anything that can stoke my Throner.
Hit the jump for the parody.
