#Welcome To the Future
Anonymous may have prevented the Westboro Baptist Church from picketing Aaron Swartz’ funeral.
Welcome to the new world, something like the old world. But with internet hackers, the flexing of muscle resembling the rumbling of keyboards, and uh. Such.
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Facebook unveils ‘GRAPH SEARCH’, the search engine for your life.
Facebook has unveiled a search engine for your life. This is a better, more intuitive way to stalk your friends, family and most importantly — random acquaintances of acquaintances.
Reddit co-founder Aaron Swartz dies at age 26.
Real talk. I didn’t know about Aaron Swartz before today, but even a cursory examination of his life casts the dude as pretty cool. Swartz didn’t just co-found Reddit. In an act of digital righteousness that cuts close to home, he liberated 4.8 million documents from that gated golden tower of academia, JSTOR. Shine on, dude.
ANONYMOUS wants DDoS attacks recognized as official protest. Good luck.
This is a bit of a stretch. Anonymous wants DDoS attacks to be officially recognized by the White House as an official form of protest. While I generally enjoy the Group, I don’t see this happening. I mean, well, I guess that is a “duh” statement. Moving on.
Target straight matchin’ AMAZON’S PRICES all year.
Showrooming is a glorious epidemic. Walk into a store. Check out the device or gadget you want. Then you go home and order it online. Target is trying to strike back against this movement in a rather favorable manner. They’re going to match Amazon’s prices all damn year long.
HUMAN BUTT PILLOWS are a real service Japan offers. Oh, you guys.
I don’t understand Japan. That’s okay. I am certain many peoples from many nations don’t understand the hormone-soaked shores of America. Even without understanding, there is still the ability to marvel at the establishment of such Japanese places like this joint. Here in this wonderland, for some serious cheddar, you can rest your head. On a woman’s ass.
There are more internet-connected devices than residents in the United States.
One apocalypse walks out the door, another does the Randall into the room. There are more internet-connected devices in the world than humans. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that once the AI Hive Mine at the center of Google’s secret laboratory awakens, the first thing it’ll do is actualize these devices into a collective of street-surveying Big Brother networks. But we need Facebook, and Doodle Jump. Frankly, I’m still not certain it isn’t worth the consequences.
Google chairman making private trip to North Korea. Obvious Illuminati meeting.
Google chairman Eric Schmidt (if that is his real name) is making a private trip to North Korea. This can mean only one (obvious) thing. The Illuminati are meeting up at a new base to discuss their global sterilization techniques via water fertilization, and they need to make sure the global search engine and Skynet progenitor is on board. Right? I can’t be misreading this thing, can I?
Robbers snagged over $1 MILLION worth of gear from Apple store on NYE.
This is a hell of a plan. Swoop into a store during a ruckus-filled evening and snag you know, a considerable amount of Apple swag. To the tune of like, you know, $1 million dollars. Even in this time of inflation, that is a lot of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers.
