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The cover for this month’s Game Informer is out, and it proves one thing: chicks can be jacked freaks of nature too! Go post-apocalyptic equality! I’ve made my feelings on the Unreal Engine abundantly clear.

Multiple times. But I love it.

I can’t wait for Gears of War 3. It’s going to make my balls hurt with testosterone, and apparently estrogen fury.

I’ve never been insane for the Call of Duty franchise. I enjoyed the two Modern Warfares, but that’s about it. So even though I knew that another game was coming this year, I didn’t care. It wasn’t Modern Warfare, and it wasn’t Infinity Ward. Well, fuck me, I seem to be stoked anyways.

It’s the fucking Cold War! Black Ops! Espionage! Oh shiz! Totally super-ballin’. Alright, I’m excited. Check out the video and fap with me.

[click for entire sexy wasteland painting]

IGN is bringing the heat with these Fallout: New Vegas images from their preview. Jesus Christ, this game is going to be hot. As hot as an atomic bomb! Fucking get it!?! No! Fuck you!

Click the images to embiggen them.

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[via all games beta]

All Games Beta has a bunch of new Bulletstorm screens. YES. I’m fucking stoked for Bulletstorm, and I made that clear recently. It’s going to ultra-violent, absurd, and featuring drunk space pirates. If you can’t get behind that, you’re a douchebag. Head over to AGB for the rest of the scans. Of which, there are a shitload.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown wiser. Much wiser. I don’t want to toot my horn, but with enough undergraduate philosophy courses to complete two degrees, I’ve spanned the spectrum of intellectual debate. Because of this, I’ve gleamed insight the average mouthbreather can’t fathom, and I’d like to impart on you some of that knowledge.

Every and any problem in life can be fixed by a spinning lariat. Zangief and Mother Russian will show you the way.

Boyfriend treating you poorly?

Spinning Lariat that motherfucker.

Cat in a tree?

Spinning Lariat that fucking piece of bark.

Bills overdue?

Spinning Lariat those nuisances.

Car not working?

Spinning Lariat the engine into mush!

Episode of LOST making you homicidal?

Spinning Lariat that fucking LCD!

It’s elementary.

You’re all fucking welcome.

For years, Xbox fanboys have clung to Bungie. The studio has severed as a legit binkie for all sorts of choads and dickwads to use in their PS3 vs 360 argument. Now all that shit is going to change. With Bungie leaving Microsoft and signing a deal with Activision, the motherfuckers who made fat dudes and dorks ejaculate onto their Halo 3 Ridiculous Edition Spartan Helmet are going multiplatform. You can almost hear the screams of the legions of unwashed masses.

So how about Sony, who is obviously going to let Bungie slither into their disc tray with a grand smile. How are those fuckers feeling? Fucking fantastic:

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Activision, who already owns the fucking gaming universe, just got more powerful. They’ve struck a deal with Bungie to publish their post-Halo games for the next ten years. G’damn!

via kotaku:

According to the official press release, “Under the terms of the agreement, Activision will have exclusive, worldwide rights to publish and distribute all future Bungie games based on the new intellectual property on multiple platforms and devices. Bungie remains an independent company and will continue to own their intellectual property.” From the sound of it, Activision gets to publishing rights to one IP on multiple platforms. This agreement certainly does not mean that Bungie is part of Activision.

It’s pretty fucking impressive. The company that has Guitar Hero, World of Warcraft, and Call of Duty just got fanboy faves into the their stable. You can lead anything with a fucking fuckload of fucking cash to uh, developmental water. Or something. It’s a pretty dope deal for Activision too, since Infinity Ward is all but eviscerated, and who the fuck knows what’s going to happen with the Modern Warfare splinter of the Call of Duty franchise.

[via all games beta \ click images to enlarge]

Yeah, more and more Super Mario Galaxy 2 shit keeps dropping. These screens are win. Let’s see, we got Slave Master Mario riding his dino-servant, 2D goodness, and other odd and bizarre tropes that somehow make sense in video games, particularly the Marioverse. Click the jump for the rest of the scans.

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[via .tiff]

If you didn’t play Ocarina Of Time, you’re going to Hell. It’s in the bible. But that’s okay, HAIL SATAN.

I always happily shit myself. Let me get that out of the way. I’m sitting on a fudge mound happily tucked between buttcheeks and boxer-briefs. But yeah, this trailer for Dead Space is the super illin’. The original blew my fucking mind, and I can only imagine the sequel is going to do the game. Check the trailer out after the jump.