How much does Mario fucking eat? How much does that fat fucking plumber gorge himself on, day to day? It was a question posed to me by ‘Bones a couple of days ago. I was playing some Super Mario Galaxy 2, and he came down into the Dungeon to give a “What’s Up?” and generally panic about one of his students finding him on Facebook.

During the course of watching my manipulate Mario into roughly three-thousand leaping jumps, backflips, and running something like nineteen miles, the thought struck him: how much does this guy eat? I mean, consider how much running around and general exercise gets! It’s ridiculous. All that bullshit, and he’s still got a gut that makes you go “God damn!” And it’s not like he’s just benching the bar, either. Dude is capable of flinging Zillion Ton Lizards into the air like it ain’t no thang.

So what’s up, Mario?

The guy has to be on some sort of linebacker diet. You know, twelve-thousand calorie wunderkind daily ingestions. He’s the only guy I know that can scale perilous death obstacle courses, and still have to sit down to tie his shoelaces. It’s okay though Mario, big is beautiful.

[via all games beta, click to enlarge]

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Oh fuck yes! A game that is based off of some of my favorite Sci-Fi bullshit such as Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica is getting its own movie. Fucking party!

via slashfilm:

Legendary Pictures has picked up the rights to the BioWare game   series Mass Effect. I Am Legend and Thor screenwriter Mark Protosevich has been assigned to write.

THR   says that Avi and Ari Arad will produce with Thomas Tull and Jon Jashni from Legendary. The project is early in development; Warner Bros. would co-finance and distribute worldwide.

This is redonkulously awesome news for a nerd like me. Jesus Christ, lord, don’t let this suck. The potential for rock is great when adapting this son of a bitch. Unfortunately, the potential for suck is probably just as great, if not superior. A favorite game of mine based off of favorite movies of mine is getting its own film? The cycle is now complete.

Insomniac Games, the dudes behind the Ratchet and Clank, Resistance, and Spyro are taking their dope-ass shit multiplatform.

via kotaku:

Insomniac Games, the studio behind Spyro the Dragon, Ratchet & Clank and Resistance, unveiled a deal this morning with Electronic Arts that will put their still unannounced, undated next franchise on the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. Under the agreement Insomniac will retain ownership of the intellectual property.”There have been a lot of great reasons to make games for the Playstation,” said Ted Price, founder and CEO of Insomniac Games. “We have a wonderful relationship with Sony and will continue to work with them on Playstation titles.

“While Insomniac Games’ growth as a developer has been steady, it hasn’t seen any big spikes, Price told Kotaku. Making a game for multiple systems means that the developer and its games will be able to reach a broader audience.”We never wanted to limit ourselves,” Price said. “People are inspired here by having the opportunity to try new things. (Playstation 3 shooter) Resistance was a chance to branch out and we will continue to look for those opportunities.

“The latest chance is bringing Insomniac Games’ upcoming, all-new franchise set in a new universe to the PS3 and Xbox 360. The title is currently in production at the company’s Burbank studio, but Price remained tight-lipped about what it was.

Interesting shit right there. Pretty much the only reason I own my PS3 is for the console-exclusive titles from these boys and Naughty Dog. So the fact that they’re taking their ball and uh, letting other people rub it, is big news. Last month Bungie told Microsoft they were going to dabble in some polygamy, and this month Sony is tots no longer going steady with Insomniac. THE WORLD OF EXCLUSIVES IS FALLING APART.

[source: sugoi via gamovr]

[via all games beta : click to enlarge]

Ah, Marvel Vs. Capcom 3. Where Chris Redfield can zap Bruce Banner’s dumb face with a god damn electrified baton.

The fucking Bulletstorm fucking trailer features fucking Nine Inch Nails, fucking insane amounts of guns, space pirates, and fucking giant plants that fucking eat shit! I’m fucking pumped! Fuck!

No seriously, this game looks god damn ridiculous. It’s climbed to the top of my “Do Want” list. It’s an FPS for the No Attention Span, Strung Out On Energy Drinks generation. So pretty much a game designed for me. Just watch the trailer, and if you don’t like it, punch yourself in a soft and sensitive spot. Check out the trailer after the jump.

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The Mass Effect 2 DLC has been pretty mediocre. I haven’t even finished Kasumi’s Stolen Memory. But fuck me, yes I’m going to buy this:

via G4:

When sent to investigate a Cerberus research base that’s mysteriously gone silent, Shepard arrives to find Geth overrunning the base. The sole survivor, Chief Scientist Archer, paints a dire picture: an experiment to fuse a human volunteer with a virtual intelligence created a dangerous hybrid “VI overlord”. The rampaging VI has already attacked three other Cerberus bases, controlling any technology it finds in an attempt to break free—and unleashing Geth across the planet. Unless Shepard can infiltrate the VI’s fortress and shut it down, this homicidal intelligence will beam itself-off planet and wreak havoc on other systems.

Sounds good. Will probably be meh. I’ll spend the money anyways. I’m part of the problem.

[click to enlarge]

I don’t usually buy collector’s editions. In fact, I usually spend my time making fun of them. But I’m also a hypocritical asshole. That said, it’s going to take a lot of self-control for me to not buy this bad boy. It contains:

via all games beta:

– Seven “Lucky 7” poker chips, each designed to represent chips from the major casinos found on the New Vegas strip and throughout the Mojave Wasteland.

– A fully customized Fallout: New Vegas deck of cards. Each card in the pack has been uniquely illustrated to depict characters and factions found within the game. Use the cards to play poker, blackjack or Caravan, an original card game that was created by Obsidian especially for New Vegas.

– A recreation of the game’s highly coveted “Lucky 38” platinum chip.

– A hardcover graphic novel “All Roads” that tells the story of some of the characters and events that lead up to Fallout: New Vegas. “All Roads” was written by Chris Avellone, the game’s creative director, and created in conjunction with Dark Horse Comics.

– ‘The Making of Fallout: New Vegas’ DVD. This documentary DVD will contain exclusive video content, including interviews with the developers in which they take you from concept to creation and discuss topics such as story, setting, legacy of the Fallout franchise and more.

Do want.

[via all games beta]

You have to be fucking kidding me. Deadpool? Dante? Chris Redfield? Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is going to be the icy hotness. Fire burning hot and uh cold, and shit. Click the images to embiggen these motherfuckers.

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