If you’re like me, and you think that while Natal/Kinect is visually another sexy object, it is lame as fuck, the name sucks, and you generally abhor the direction of motion controls, then you’re going to love the Microsoft tagline. Or barf everywhere, laughing at the misdirection.

Tagline:

No barriers.
No boundaries.
No gadgets.
No gizmos.
No learning curves.

With Kinect,
you are the controller.

Really? Holy fucking shit. Fantastic. Reminds me of something out of Max Barry’s Syrup.

Hey dickheads! Now you can know the official name for the shitty, Minority Report-esque motion controls that Microsoft is rolling out! Project Natal? Naw man, that shit is fucking lame. Microsoft’s motion controls shall now be dubbed “Kinect!”

FUCKING RIGHTEOUS. I love make believe spellings and X-Treme names! From the company that brought you the XBOX, comes KINECT. So grab your family of fucking invalids, and begin karate chopping and kung-fuing and pretending you’re driving a a race car like a fucking asshole in peace! You’re ready to KINECT with other fat slobby people not resembling the eerily grinning couples and families that every fucking console company trots out when promoting their motion controls.

ETHNICALLY DIVERSE FAMILY FUN THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE DROOLING AT DANCING WITH THE STARS.

MICROSOFT KINECT!

FUCK YOU!

The E3 2010 hype continues, this time in the form of a Fallout: New Vegas trailer with old-ass music, wastelands, and ridiculously gorgeous gameplay. I’m ready, ready like woah for this game. I’ve already begun building a replica bunker from which I shall play the game. I will only leave it every thirty-six hours to scowl at the sky, and feel sun accentuating the sores and gunk-filth coating my unwashed, withering body. Are you in on this commitment to the game with me? Hit the jump for the gorgeous trailer.

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With E3 around the corner, we got some new Dead Space 2 goodness up in here. How about some debut gameplay footage? Say wooooord! Fucking Issac Clarke is back, and he is ready to rock out in the best mash-up of Event Horizon, Alien, and Your Worst Nightmares. Again. The original Dead Space is one of my favorite games of the generation, and I have to cop and admit that this sequel has me flapping my hands up and down excitedly like that girl that used to wear the helmet on the bus.

Hit the jump for the fuggin’ gameplay trailer!

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Holy fucking shit! I’m still getting people joining in my spanking to Mass Effect 2’s Yeoman Chambers, and next week they may be announcing the final installment in the trilogy? Rly? Srsly? This game is only fucking six months old! I’m not complaining though! I’m feelin’ you, bros! How do we know all this? Why, one handy-dandy leaked FLOOR PLAN:

[via kotaku]

Fuggin’ jawesome, ya’ll. Mass Effect 3 being premiere while my buttlust for the sequel still seeps.

Wolverine’s deep, furious crotch action can only mean one thing! A new fucking Marvel Vs Capcom 3 trailer! This one is a straight-up character teaser. We got Ryu looking butt-hurt, Wolverine with his crotch-groan of fury, Morrigan trying to rub down Iron Man, and other thrilling, exhilarating, creamifying shit going down. Stop listening to me blather. Hit the jump and check out the teaser.

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[via: oh have you seen this?!]

Some peep or group of peeps went through the trouble of animating a stop motion paper Mario running around a classroom for all of our enjoyment. No, seriously. It’s amazing. Old school Mario + nostalgia + talented geeks = community win!

I love me some Mass Effect. And while I don’t think there’s anything in the cards for a Mass Effect MMO (as of yet, mind you), the idea of being able to romp around with fellow space-nerd-cadets in the Mass Effect universe makes me tingly and grin like a fucking asshole.

via kotaku:

A job listing reveals that Mass Effect developer BioWare Montreal is looking for a multiplayer programmer to “take existing single player user experiences and make them multiplayer safe.” Is Mass Effect going multiplayer?

…

“Multiplayer Programmers ensure the game engine and game systems work reliably and efficiently in a multiplayer environment. They work with both the front and back ends to take existing single player user experiences and make them multiplayer safe.”

…

It’s no confirmation, but then what else is BioWare working on that would require a multiplayer programmer? Right now they’ve got Dragon Age, Star Wars: The Old Republic, and Mass Effect, and the job posting singles out Mass Effect.

No confirmation, but it certainly suggests something in the works, no? Righteous. Most righteous.

[via only trippy stuff, click to enlarge]

Using this dope artwork to remind you to play Super Mario Galaxy 2. It’s pure banana-engorging funtime.

[via gizmodo]

Continuing rocking out to old-school Nintendo-type shit, check out this video. Stop-motion sex. Creator Alex Varanese explains the inspiration behind the awesome:

I recently found myself wondering what a video game might look like in the form of a stop motion animation. While a normal person’s response to such a question would of course be “who gives a shit?” I possess few of the qualities typically associated with normalcy and was irrevocably compelled to find out. This is the result.

Also, I’d like to think I’m the first person to be inspired by Michel Gondry AND R-Type on the same project.

The result is pure, pure win.