#Video Games
World of Warcraft’s Red Shirt Guy Gets Character In Cataclysm Expansion. Amazing.
Remember the Red Shirt Guy, who I dubbed Maxwell and immortalized in last Friday’s Press Start? Well, not only is Maxwell the coolest son of a bitch ever, but he’s also being added to the upcoming expansion pack, Cataclysm. Like, no, really.
Kotaku:
“Red Shirt Guy”, who shot to internet fame last week for his intimidatingly deep knowledge of World of Warcraft lore, has been turned into a character in the game’s latest expansion by developers Blizzard.
That’s him there on the right – Wildhammer Fact Checker – complete with his red shirt.
Before you cry fake, Blizzard’s Lead World Designer Alex Afrasiabi popped onto the WoW forums to confirm that he is indeed a real character in the World of Warcraft: Cataclysm. Congratulations, Red Shirt Guy; fleeting internet fame is one thing, but being immortalised in the game (or at least in its beta) you love is something way cooler.
Fucking outstanding. You have to give props to Blizzard for continuously implementing community phenomenons into the game itself. Maxwell! You are a fucking hero to us all, and now you’re further enshrined in polygon. Well done, you sexy son of a bitch.
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Apple Tried To Buy Bungie; Too Late, Microsoft Had Snagged Em. Steve Jobs Rage!
Back in the day, before Bungie had made Master Chief fanboy douchebags out of all of us, they were a bit strapped for cash. Looking for a sugar daddy to support them, former project lead Tuncer Deniz decided to hit up Daddy Stevey Jobs for some cash flow. Too busy trying to figure out ways to exploit all of us with over-priced, sexy, shiny objects (I’m a sucker for it), Jobs decided to demur and pass on the then fledgling studio.
For a bit.
Somewhere in his cranium, Jobs then decided that he would indeed like to very much purchase them. The only problem? Motherfuckin’ archnemesis Microsoft had swooped in, and bought them all up and shit. This did nothing less than send Steve Jobs into a Hulk-like rage.
Kotaku:
As soon as we announced we bought Bungie, Steve Jobs called,” former Microsoft VP of game publishing Ed Fries tells Develop.
“He was mad at [Microsoft CEO Steve] Ballmer and phoned him up and was angry because we’d just bought the premier Mac game developer and made them an Xbox developer.”
He was so mad, in fact, that he needed to be called and talked back from the outskirts of cranky town.
Pretty fucking interesting, to say the least. What would have happened if Apple hadn’t been too late in snagging Bungie? Would all of us douchebag Master Chief boner-worshippers never have come aboard the Halo train? Or would all of the Xbots of the world simply been Mac dickheads? I shudder at the thought, since god knows there’s a lot of them already.
Steve Ballmer is lucky that Jobs didn’t take that motherfucker out. This is the same Steve Jobs that commands the Hand, and was stopped in an airport because he was trying to smuggle ninja stars onto his own private jet. You don’t fuck with shit like that! Jobs will cut you. Cut you deep, and wear your head on his cock like fucking Patrick Bateman. I’ve seen it.
Intriguing stuff.
Since Being On Oprah, Kinect Sales Up 42% On Amazing. You Morons.
Remember when I commented on Oprah Winfery giving away Xbox 360s and Kinects to everyone in her audience last week? Remember when I said that the women were roused into retarded level of hysteria after Oprah was like “yo, mindless automatons, be fucking excited!” Well, the Oprah Winfrey juggernaut cannot be fucking stopped. Not only are her audiences base, empty women, but the people watching at home are just as susceptible to Ms. Winfrey’s suggestive powers.
Since being spotlighted on her show, Kinect pre-orders have jumped 42% on Amazon. Good lord.
That’s fucking stellar. Nothing like the Voice of Vacancy rousing into her followers a sense of OMFG, OPRAH SEZ IS COOL, I BUY. I could be jumping to conclusions, maybe the correlation is maybe coincidence. Doubtful. I wish Oprah told everyone in her audience that double-pronged dildos and anal nitrate was awesome. The idea of house wives eagerly awaiting boxes of sex toys is awesome. C’mon Oprah! It’s your last season. Use your influence to inspire some freak in the ordinary lady.
New Dragon Age II Trailer: Rise To Power Makes Me Hungry For Hawke
Good god damn. I need me some Dragon Age II. Like, really bad. I’m almost done with the original. Would have been done, if not for something called the Mojave Wasteland. And I love the game, a lot. But everything I’ve seen regarding the sequel screams one thing: this game is like the original, but better in every fucking way. That, my friends, is a great thing. The most prominent improvement for me is the introduction of a Shepard-esque protagonist. I need my main character to do something as crazy as speak and have a serious role in the plot.
On top of better graphics, seemingly better direction, and everything else? My loins swell with glee. Hit the jump for the newest trailer, “Rise To Power.”
Blizzard Reveals Final Diablo III Class, The Demon Hunter! Video Inside!
Oh shit! I love me some Diablo III. I’ve been geeking out about it since it was revealed last year. I wants it, I needs it. My own, my precious! Ain’t nothing I want to do more than chase down El Diablo with a shitload of friends. Today at Blizzcon, Blizzard dropped the final class on us: the Demon Hunter. Fucking hotness. Hit the jump for the reveal video.
Replicate Dude’s 126-Hit Chun Li Combo, Snag $50. Do It For Me!
Apparently there is a dude who goes by the handle of Desk. And he is strong with the Super Street Fighter IV force. I am not. But Desk, this Desk chap, he can deliver the combo goodness. Homeboy is challenging anyone on the interwebs to replicate his 126-hit combo with Ms. Chun Li. Anyone who can pull it off will net a sweet $50. Now listen, I’m fucking hopeless. I can’t string together anything beyond a five-hit combo, and that’s only with Ryu! Why do I play as Ryu? Because when I was little, he was neat. Yeah, I said it. I’m one of those legion of Street Fighter gamers who never grew up, and just wants to throw fireballs ad nauseum.
Hit the jump to check out the video of Desk’s combo. And then do it, do it for me.
Artist Creates 3D Samus Aran From Old Game Cartridges; Hell Yes!
Blazer Bratcher is an artist from Denver, Colorado, who was given a most righteous task: a commission by JJ Games to create a 3D Samus Aran out of old video game cartridges. Approximately 179 of them. Amazing. Hit the jump for more images of Bratcher’s glorious 8-bit construction.
Fallout: New Vegas Features The Corpses Of Luke Skywalker’s Burnt-Ass Aunt and Uncle
Ah, easter eggs! I’ve never actually found one, but I’ve always imagined myself stumbling across one and feeling like a fucking boss. But I don’t. However, a Kotaku reader was playing thorugh New Vegas when he stumbled upon the very corpses of those dumb asses Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. You know, the selfish pigs who wouldn’t let Luke go pursue his dreams. According to the article, the corpses of these two assholes holding back the god damn dopest, whiniest Jedi ever, can be found on the dusty trail outside of Nipton. I’m there!
Four New Bioshock Infinite Screens? Sure, Why Not!
Who the hell releases four screens of something. I’ll tell you who, fools. I’ll tell you good and plenty: Irrational fucking Games. Why and how do they do it? The answer is the same: because they know fanboys of Bioshock (okay, only the original, the sequel was meh-tastic to me) will eat anything Infinite related right up. Gobble it up out of their hands like fuggin’ swine. A piggy pig. Swine like me? Need/want/have to have anything Bioshock Infinite related? Hit the jump for the four new screens.
