I don’t give a fuck about the PlayStation phone, and for that reason I haven’t covered it here. Until tonight. According to Kotaku, the Chinese website IT168 got its grubby paws “on a version of the phone (which it carefully points out may not be the final, production model) and put it through its paces, detailing not just the device’s hardware specs but some other interesting tidbits as well.”

Interested in the specs, as well as some images of the phone? Hit the jump, you slags.

Keep Reading »

The line-up for Marvel Vs Capcom 3 continues to grow, as does the thunder in my pants. Anyone with a knack for anything Capcom or Marvel has got to be in on this shit, regardless of their feelings towards fighting games. Right? Well, probably not. But I can’t play them for shit, and I’m still sweating this title. Today trailers were dropped for both Haggar and Jean Grey. X-Men and Final Fight! Hells yes.

Hit the jump for their debut trailers.

Keep Reading »

Goddamn that fucking Kinect! I knew it was the Devil. El Diablo! It wants to corrupt us! Sure it has us petting animals and playing volleyball, now. But in the future? Once the indoctrination is complete, it’ll have us stabbing our grandparents and bathing in the blood of purified newborns!

Don’t believe me? Here’s some more proof. It causes the dreaded Red Ring of Death. Maybe! Sensationalism? Sure.

According to the BBC, a nice, untainted British family bought a Kinect. And then their console died. Could this be coincidence? Absolutely not! Wink. According to 10 year-old Adam Winnifrith,  “We plugged it in the day we got it but only played it a few times before we got the red lights. The next day when we tried it again we still had the red rings of death and haven’t been able to use it since.”

See! What more proof do you need? Fuck Kinect! It’s encouraging Big Brother. It’s going to result in robotic spy planes of death, and if that isn’t bad enough: it’ll kill your fucking Xbox 360.

Via.

Let’s play the game! The first set photos have leaked of Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker! Now, it’s up to us to complete the second part of the game. We stare at these pictures long and hard. With our fanboy nerd goggles on. Then we get hyper-analytic and needlessly extrapolate!

Hit the jump for the pictures, and don’t forget to either laud or praise the film based on these pictures alone!

It’s your nerd civic duty.

Keep Reading »

Check it out! Most righteous. A good twenty Street Fighter characters have been recreated in Smackdown vs. Raw 2011. I know that Street Fighter is a fighting game, but seeing some sick ass turnbuckle action featuring Zangief, T. Hawk and others is fucking awesome.

It also reminds me of a better time back in the day, when life was good, all wrestlers were over the top assholes with schticks. Superpowers! Communist bastards! Shamen! They were all included. But with the rise of MMA, the wrestling powers that be have decided that they needed to make shit more “realistic”. And wrestling now? It sort of blows. It’s all the homoerotic overtones, with none of the sweet personalities and absurd personas. Just dudes in spandex undies hugging one another. Without the money shots! I call shenanigans.

Hit the jump for the video.

Keep Reading »

There’s been rumors of Call of Duty adding its own fee for online multiplayer for a good amount of time. So while those fears weren’t completely confirmed in a recent report, there is certainly something to be anxious about. Even if base online Call of Duty will remain free forever, it is looking more and more like there will be a tiered service implemented soon. Kotaku mentions in a new article that analysts at Wedbush Securities feel a new premium level of online gaming will hit in the next three months, and quotes them as saying:

Activision remains a top pick, primarily due to the company’s potential to create and monetize a second tier of multiplayer online gaming for its Call of Duty franchise.

[cont]

We expect this to occur during the first quarter of 2011.

Well, balls. There’s two important pieces of information missing from this speculation. What would it cost, and what would it give you? It is reinforced in the Kotaku article that Bobby Kotick and Activision state you’ll never have to pay for out of the box CoD multiplayer. But if they nerf that to sweet shit and all the decent action lays in the premium service? Well fuck. I already pay for WoW and Xbox Live (yearly). Having to add in a third payment isn’t feasible for me at this point, and I don’t play enough to justify it anyways.

Here’s hoping the rumor isn’t true (but I bet it is), and if it is, that the cost would be negligible (why would it be?).

Thoughts? Hit the comments box.

If you guys aren’t down with my fawning over Bulletstorm, shit is going to get  a bit bumpy around here. The lovefest continues with a second post today. Epic Games has released this absurd trailer, which is centered around Epic Games’ president Mike Capps in the shower. Riffing on the old Saturday Night Live skit “Deep Thoughts”, Capps wonders what goes through the head of someone he kicks off the side of a building.

Absurdity.

Hit the jump for the trailer, which is only the first of (hopefully) many Bulletpoints.

Keep Reading »

You have to be a wondrous kind of retard to pull off this stunt. Some dude working at a Chinese factory (apparently) stole a Nintendo 3DS from the production line. Like true wondrous retards are wont to do, he decided to show the world of his egregious theft. There was a video of this by-now-dead-dickhead showing off the wares, but it has been understandably taken down by “user”. Or in other words, before he died, they forced him at blade point to delete it.

Curious as to what it showed? It showed “Super Mario 64 DS being added to the cartridge slot, it seems that the unit is unable to run any retail games, only booting a black screen with the SDK version and memory information (96  steaming hot megabytes of RAM, for those wondering).”

Thrilling!

Want more images of this douche shown off his stolen wares? Hit the jump.

Keep Reading »

I was pretty certain that Bulletstorm was the video game equivalent of my soul mate. Now I’m fucking certain. The ESRB released their description of the game, and it is filled with all the wonders and horrors that could come out of my caffeine-soaked skull should I be conjuring my most whimsical desire. Take it away ESRB, you assholes!

During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one’s mother.

Alright, we’re already on our way to a juvenile fluid-fest of my most fervent nocturnal emissions. But it gets better. Take it away, puerile masters!

The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies’ exposed buttocks.

It’s official. This game is offensive. Awesome. Juvenile. Awesome. Insane. Awesome. I can’t fucking wait.

Via.

Hacker GeoHot has done gone and released the soul of the PlayStation 3 to the public. According to Joystiq, Geo “says he has released the PS3’s METLDR root key to the public, which allows access to the PS3’s loaders, and reportedly could be used to allow any unsigned code to be run on the system.”

This shit already sounds diabolical, right? I wasn’t really sure what a root key was, and Joystiq made it sound pretty cool. But I figured there was someone who could break this shit down even further for me! And ideally you. Luke Plunkett over at Kotaku goes deeper into what this means for the PS3, elite hax0rz dudes, and you:

The root key is a signature of sorts, that lets the PS3 know that the program that’s about to run on the console is a legitimate piece of software. If it’s now out there, then once people start messing around with it, they’ll be able to whip up anything – be that custom software or pirated games – and trick the console into thinking it’s OK to load.

Crucially, because this key lies at the very heart of the PS3 hardware itself, it appears that if it has been cracked, it will be almost impossible to repair (even via firmware updates), as altering the existing key would run the risk of rendering all existing PS3 software inoperable.

Well then! That’s some heavy shit. I wonder if GeoHot realizes that a crack team of Sony ninjas are already on their way to his house, about to eliminate him from the face of this blue marble.