#Video Games
Kinect Hack Helps Perform Surgery. Awesome.
Welcome to the fucking future. When the Kinect came out, I blathered on and on about how its most amazing features would be found outside of traditional use. Once the drivers for the Kinect were out in the open, talented people began finding genius ways to implement the device. Beyond, you know, air kicking a virtual soccer ball. However, call me short-sighted cause I didn’t forsee this: the Kinect could be used to aid in the performing of surgery.
Fucking awesome.
Surgical robots are super-precise, but Mike Fahey at Kotaku points out that the “problem with surgical robots is that while they allow for extreme precision, there is no tactile sensation for the doctor operating the tiny robotic arms. If a scalpel brushes against an exposed vein, for instance, the robot operator does not feel the subtle bump.”
That’s not the best thing in the world. Knick an artery, have no clue, and Steve McHaplessvictim slowly bleeds out.
What’s the answer to this? Force feedback. This is where the Kinect comes in:
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Black Ops Kills America Every 24 Hours.
Righteous Dutch info-wizards Spijkermat came up with this infographic for Call of Duty: Black Ops. Some of the stats that occur in this virtual game daily are absolutely ludicrous. Thar be a lot of killing going on. Every 24 hours, more than 300,000,000 lives are taken. That’s more than the population of the United States.
Hit the jump for the entire graphic.
Final Fantasy XIII-2 Announced; Here’s The Trailer.
Final Fantasy XIII is getting a sequel. Art thou prepared? I spent too many hours last year in a blind rage over Final Fantasy XIII to get into it again. But! There’s always a but, isn’t there? Let’s just say this: whether it was that the game sucked, or I was simply tired of the same tropes that used to thrill me, or a combination of the both, I hated the game. I seethed while playing it, and blistered my fingers ranting about it to friends.
I don’t pretend my opinion is ever the word of God (or someone smart), and in this case I know a lot of people who enjoyed it, and for them, this is probably pretty exciting. Or they’re pretending they’re on some sort of artistic high ground and reject the notion of a sequel.
Whatever the case, Final Fantasy XIII-2 is coming.
Hit the jump for the trailer.
Jet Grind Radio Customized Dreamcast Is Nostalgiaporn.
French artist Ozcan rocked out a Dreamcast with a gorgeous Jet Grind Radio customization. God, I miss the days of Dreamcast, and JGR. I spent far too many hours lighting bullshit up with spray cans and bobbin’ my head to Jurassic 5 et others.
Hit the jump for the dude’s gorgeous customization.
There’s A Pac-Man Reality TV Show Coming. Apocalypse Now.
There’s a Pac-Man reality TV show in the works. This future-abortion is being helmed by Merv Griffin Entertainment, the fuckers behind Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! I know it doesn’t make any sense, but welcome to the Wasteland, where nothing makes sense. Therefore, everything makes sense. We’re turning the board game Battleship into a fucking movie. Why can’t we turn Pac-Man into a reality show? Of course you don’t have a good reason! Here, have some details down your willing gullet, from Roy Bank, the Guy Of Some Importance Or Something from Merv:
A big, crazy Wipeout-type event with a lot of energy. The idea we have is to take what Pac-Man is and bring it to life, to bring what is essentially the world’s biggest game of tag to television.
I can’t imagine why this wouldn’t be a success and why we won’t all be stapled to our chairs while its on. Nonetheless, it isn’t the Pac-Man television show I envisioned. In my reality TV show, someone hides a bottle of Ambien in a giant grass labyrinth. While I’m searching for it, people chase me with blunt objects. If I find the bottle of Ambien, I then pound them pills and chase them, because next to the bottle of Ambien is also a corked bat and an unloaded gun.
I think this would make for much more riveting television, but what the fuck do I know.
Meet Jesus Christ With Super Mario! Creepy Church Alert.
I can’t tell if I think this is awesome, or horribly creepy. A little bit of both. I’ve been saying for a while now that church has gotten pretty fucking stale. If people want to bring some new souls to fucking salvation, they have to up their fucking game. Bishop Paul Ojeda has done just that. At the Austin Power House Church’s Wii Love Jesus event, he brought the righteous Nintendo thunder. Preaching in front of a backdrop replete with Super Mario imagery and Wiimotes, the zaniness doesn’t stop there. No sir. We also got “a guy running around dressed as Mario, kids doing trust falls and lots of fake Wii Remotes.”
Nothing says roping them in young and brainwashing them like using some classic kid-friendly imagery. Back in my day they just used closed doors, allures of candy, and the phrase “It’s going to tickle.”
Wesley Snipes Is Making A Video Game. From Jail.
Listen, the man who played Willie Mays Hayes will always have a pass in my book. Fucking classic. Not only that, but who hasn’t thought of Wesley Snipes as a visionary? I know I have. I also know you can’t keep a visionary down. Despite being in jail for tax evasion, Snipes is currently working on a video game. The game, which is called “Julius Styles: The International is being developed for iPhone and iPad, with an XBLA/PSN/Android release planned later. It’s based on the movie of the same name, which Snipes will be filming after his sentence is over in 2013.”
A Wesley Snipes led video game in development, which is then going to dovetail into a movie release after he’s free? I can’t think of any reason this isn’t going to blow our goddamn socks off.
Bulletstorm Disses Halo With Projectile Vomiting Diorama Video. Awesome.
Oh Bulletstorm. God I want this game. Their marketing campaign is fucking outstanding. There are the Bulletpoints bits they’ve been rolling out, and now there’s this. Remember those totally artsy Halo advertisements with the dioramas of the battlefield? Yeah, Bulletstorm and the gurus behind it take aim at those ads. With figurine projectile vomiting. It’s fucking amazing.
Hit the jump for the video.
Steve Wiebe Loses Donkey Kong Record!…To A Plastic Surgeon?
And then there were three! Meet Hank Chien! The good sir was previously glossed over back in August, known as the “guy Billy Mitchell beat to reclaim the Donkey Kong score.” Apparently Chien isn’t messing around though, and he’s definitely fucking up my extended metaphors. If Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell are the video game world’s Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, who the fuck is Chien?
Well, it doesn’t matter.
‘Cause the dude has taken the throne from the two of them.
Marshawn Lynch’s Run Goes Super Mario Bros. Win! [Video.]
It’s easy to make geeks splooge. Just throw some Super Mario Bros. sounds into something seemingly ill-fitting, and we’re already at half-mast. Take for example Marshawn Lynch’s ridiculous run against the Saints on Saturday. It was already amazing. But throw some Mario sound effects as a soundtrack? Stop, boner time!
Hit the jump for the video.
