#Video Games
New Arkham City Screens Have Uncle Two-Face, and Cleavage.
I’m quite often forgetting that we’re getting ourselves a sequel this year to Arkham Asylum. Righteous. There were some new screens dropped today that have kindly reminded me of this fact, through propaganda pieces and the obligatory huge-chested female character.
Interested? Hit the jump.
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In Black Ops, World War II Happens 161 Times A Day.
There’s another sexy Black Ops infographic on the prowl, this one courtesy of Activision. There’s some fucking ridiculous stats to be had. Since launch, there’s been over one trillion shots fired, and there are one-hundred and sixty-one World War IIs fought everyday. Fancy some more stats? Hit the jump for the full graphic.
Forget Cloud Strife! Real Life Buster Sword Wielded By Beefy Orange Guy!
When I was fourteen, all I wanted to do was run around Midgar with the Buster Sword, killing people and making out with Tifa. I figured that if that emaciated wimp Cloud could swing it around, I could too! But this video proves I was wrong. Dead wrong. The video shows that the sword cannot be wielded by Cloud, or awesome dudes with beard, but only by those worthy: huge, muscle-bound dudes with backwards hats and orange skin.
Hit the jump to see the Buster Sword crush some shit, under the tutelage of Gym Rat Steve or whatever.
Mega Man Goes Rob Liefeld! X-TREME ROBO TIME KID!
Enlarge. | Via.
Jeffrey Cruz brought the world this gem: a Rob Liefeld-esque rendition of Mega Man. Bask in the glory of a fucking X-TREME robot from your childhood.
Check Out Marvel Vs Capcom 3’s Final Boss In Action.
I don’t know if the final boss of MvC3 is known to the world, or a spoiler. So Imma not drop who it is directly, but it sure looks fucking cool. If you’re so inclined, hit the jump to check out the son of a bitch in action. If not, you spoiler prude! I resent your willpower.
Goddamn, I need this game.
PS3 Taking Game Saves TO THE CLOUD. TECH TERMS.
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Those fucking Windows 7 advertisements all TO THE CLOUD suck my ass. However, I am not an opponent of the CLOUD. I do not fight it. Or hate it. Thusly, I’m pretty fucking stoked that a future PS3 update will TAKE PLAYSTATION GAME SAVES TO THE FUCKING CLOUD.
Joystiq:
According to a recent report from Kotaku, unnamed sources in the game development community have received notifications from Sony telling of a feature which will be incorporated into PS3 firmware update 3.60: Cloud storage for saved games. According to the report, the feature (called “Online Saving”) gives developers the opportunity to let players set up their save files on a remote server, preserving the precious, precious space on their own hard drives, and allowing players to access save data from multiple consoles.
These developers also reportedly explained that the feature will only be made available to PlayStation Plus subscribers, or, as they’ll henceforth be called, the “Save File Insured.” This report sounds fairly believable — remote storage was one of the rumored features of PlayStation Plus before its reveal, and there was also that Sony trademark for “PS Cloud” back in 2009. We’ve contacted Sony for a comment on this report.
Oh, HOLD THE FUCK ON. I have to pay money to TAKE TO THE CLOUD with my saved games? Well, I suppose it makes sense. TAKING MY SAVED GAMES TO THE CLOUD would, in fact, be the first thing I’d ever consider spending money on PlayStation Plus for. Fuckers. All smart. About me. And money. AND THE CLOUD.
*[When I typed in “TO THE FUCKING CLOUD” in Google, that picture came up in Search Results. Too amazing not to use.]
Bulletstorm To Feature Gang Bangs? Check This Video.
Oh Bulletstorm. For a while, I loved you from afar. Your juvenile swagger spoke to me. Now, you’re getting closer and closer. I played the demo. You delivered. The distance that keeps us apart? Almost unbearable.
Today another video dropped, this time showing the Skillshot, the Gang Bang. Oh yeah man, the glory of this game will be known. Known well.
Hit the jump for the video.
Sony Unveils PSP2 Or As They’ve Dubbed It, “NGP”.
I don’t give a shit about portable consoles. I ain’t hating, it just isn’t something I’ve ever been in to. With that in mind, it took a lot for me to drudge up the effort to mention here that Sony’s announced the PSP2. Or as they’re codenaming it, dubbing it, calling it, whatever: NGP. That would stand for Next-Gen Portable. Clever, right?
Hit the jump for a video of it in action, or something, or something.
Dead Space 2 Impressions: Cyberpunk Boner.
OH SHIT, I’m coasting on some caffeine. Cracked open Dead Space 2 yesterday. Played it for about…an hour and a half? Thoughts: it’s fucking radical. Like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles radical. Tubular, even. Initial fears over Isaac Clarke having a prominent speaking role? Dismissed. Cast aside. Having him play a larger role is fantastic, and he’s also apparently a sexy lad. Yeah, I don’t know why I’m mentioning that. Ripping this shit off the tip of consciousness. A consciousness polished and aimed with a caffeinated machine gun spray.
MY FAVORITE PART SO FAR?
The setting. As much as I liked the whole Event Horizon-Alien-Whatever tip of the original, I love the Sprawl more. Why? ‘Cause if you ain’t in the know, son, it’s a cyberpunk homage. There’s no way the name the Sprawl isn’t a head nod to William Gibson’s Neuromancer. The setting itself reflects this homage, the whole thing looking like a cyberpunk orgasm that channels Gibson and Blade Runner and other bonery.
GAMEPLAY?
Like the original, but adrenaline charged. A lot more enemies coming at you at once, and Jesus they seem to be running a lot faster. Maybe it’s because I played it after a long day, but I was (enjoying) having a harder time corralling all of the little demons charging me.
HAVE YOU PLAYED IT?
I’m only on the third chapter, but I’d be interested to hear other people’s thoughts-in-progress.
Fallout Fan Film – ‘Nuka Break’ Is Glorious Fan Service.
Most of the time, I find fan flicks to be awkward as fuck, miserable affairs. Geeks wanking. Listen, I love geeks wanking. But they generally try too hard, and while in paying homage, come off as well, fan flicks. Fallout: Nuka Break ain’t that. I was skeptical at first, as it opened up with some Whedon-esque dialogue. [Aside: Listen geeks, you’re not Joss Whedon. And he sucks. Stop talking like you’re in Firefly, you’re not witty.]
But the entire experience turned out funny, cute, and I was pretty bummed it was only seventeen minutes. Well done to everyone involved.
Hit the jump for the video.
