The Great Gatsby has been made into a playable “Nintendo” game over at greatgatsbygame.com. Let me tell you, this shit is bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s. It isn’t just some cute  facsimile, it’s an actual fucking game with platforming and a soundtrack and enemies that will quite frankly, fuck you up.

Outstanding.

Gatsby is one of my favorite novels of all time. There are few scenes more haunting to me than Jay Gatz gazing over his grounds at the end of the book. Looking around all his has amassed and realizing that the American Dream is, in fact, a fiction. The poor demented, diluted, perhaps naive idealist coming to see that social mobility is an adorable mirage, and watching as his aspirations fall down around him.

Slap that together with my nostalgia for gaming from my childhood, and you have an homage to end all of them.

GeoHot wasn’t comfortable just outing the PS3’s root key, and getting sued by Sony. No sir. On top of that, the awkward motherfucker has gone and cut a diss track and posted the video on the internet. I have to appreciate his stupidity/balls. If I was getting sued by a major corporation, I wouldn’t be spitting white boy rhymes about them for the internet to see.

Hit the jump for some  Caucasian  flow.

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Brian Crecente is a lucky man living my dream. Working for Kotaku, he’s currently working through the early portions of Duke Nukem Forever. A kind lad is he, sharing his experiences through the internet article circulation pathways. Today he dropped this outstanding parcel of information regarding the Duke calling Master Chief and his band of Spartans a bunch of pussies.

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Clint Mansell is fucking amazing. If you don’t get down with the soundtracks to Requiem, the Fountain, or Moon – simply put: fuck you. Mass Effect is my favorite franchise going. Now they’re combining. They’re slopping their muck together, gooey awesomeness slathering the walls of my brain. Clint Mansell is scoring Mass Effect 3. Did I do something to earn this reward?

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We all know Kevin Butler, right? The doughy guy who stars in the PS3 commercials? Was funny at first, but like all campaigns has overstayed his welcome? Today, the same “Kevin Butler” on Twitter – an entity I assume maintained by a bunch of now-fired PR people – retweeted the PS3 root key. Whoops.

Twitter peep dude Travis La Marr tweeted the root key to the account belonging to “Butler”, I assume knowing that Butler wasn’t the real deal and the person(s) behind it wouldn’t know what it was. “Butler” took the bait and retweeted it making a Battleship reference.

Double whoops.

Outstanding.

Well, all right. He wasn’t almost on Xbox Live, but Microsoft and Conan’s team were discussing the possibility.

Joystiq:

During the “Hollywood Creative Masters” session at CES last month, the executive producer of Conan O’Brien’s show, Jeff Ross, spoke on last April’s  short-lived rumor of talks to relaunch the show on a proposed Xbox Live channel (before the deal was made to bringConan to TBS), reports  Gamasutra contributor Chris Morris (who moderated the CES session). While Ross said it was “interesting to sit and look at it,” Microsoft’s proposal lacked a clear vision, and he recalled that “a lot of the conversations were, ‘Well, it’s a show, but it’s not a show and there are no breaks, but maybe there are breaks and it’s not 60 minutes — it’s this,’ and nobody really knew what it was.”

“So it was really going to be a leap of faith to jump in with these guys and figure something out which we didn’t know,” Ross said, later reiterating that “we had some eventual television offers and we basically shied away from the [Xbox thing].”

Imagine if this shit came to fruition? My asshole would have burst out of its confines, splattering the walls in confusion.

You have to adore the ESRB’s descriptions of games. Especially when it turns up all sorts of interesting nuggets. Take Dragon Age II for eample.. The ESRB went and did all of us a solid, unveiling some delicious nougats. Like fellatio. And same-sex hook-ups! Outstanding.

ESRB Description Per Destructoid:

During the course of the game, characters sometimes engage in sexual dialogue (e.g., “Why is it always about sex with you?” and “Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it’ll make you sick.”). Players can also initiate brief cutscene sequences in which couples (male-female or same-sex) are shown kissing and embracing one another in a bedroom as the screen fades to black. In one cutscene, a woman kneels in front of a male character and appears to perform fellatio–there is no depiction of the sex act; the camera pans out to the rest of the room. The words “a*s,” “bastard,” and “sh*t” appear in dialogue.

I’m glad the Dragon Age series brings the same-sex thunder. It’s a great past time of mine in Mass Effect 2 to pine for Chambers with my FemShep. However, the powers that be saw to it that it was impossible to consummate a same-sex tryst. Fuckers. In Dragon Age? It’s all good.

In addition, I imagine in a game that encourages investment in an avatar as a logical arm of your moral and philosophical choices,  homosexual gamers may be bummed out that they couldn’tactualize their sexual orientation in the game. So big-ups to making it possible.

That’s just me.

Forget farming for gold in World of  Warcraft to transmute online currency into real-time bucks, this dude has it figured out. Ashley Mitchell took on the Gaming Gods and won. Sort of. Momentarily. Mitchell became my hero when he hacked “into a Zynga server, running  popular online card game Zynga Poker” and stole    400 fucking billion of their online betting chips. This man is all sac. The official worth of these chips? A cool $12 million dollars.

Outside of the techno-realm, the worth of these chips is considerably reduced to $300,000. But still, $300,000 is a lot of god damn money. Unfortunately for Mitchell, the dude could only offload a third of those chips, and so it seems he’s going to jail having only been able to parlay his insane Kessel Run into $100,000. Still though. Guy’s awesome.

I loved the original Dead Space. I love the sequel even more. Apparently, I’m not the only one who loves this sequel. No sir. In fact, Dead Space 2 has doubled the sales of the original game. In the first fucking week!  According to CVG:

EA chief operating officer John Schappert said of the game, which released last week: ‘The game launched with a 91 rating, and is approaching 2 million units sold in, with double the sell-through of the original Dead Space.'”

Outstanding.

This, my friends, is just another moment in the greatest gaming marketing campaign of all time. The dudes behind Bulletstorm have released a playable Call of Duty parody. For free. Right here. Download it. It’s fucking hilarious. It features a rather amazing deconstruction of the Call of Duty formula, through the mouths of all the cliched cats you come across in the game. I love me some Call of Duty, but I was fudging me cheeks while rocketing through the four minutes.

Don’t want to download it? Hit the jump for a video of the parody.

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