#Video Games
Press Start!: Killstreaks Groinal Leakage.
Press Start!, press select!, who gives a shit! This is the column where I blather like the droll man I am about five things that caught my eye in the world of gaming this week. Buckle up for the suck. As I type this, the PSN is reigniting its engines, and word unconfirmed by yours truly is that the United States can actually play games online once more with their PlayStationing machinery.
There’s that! Pour a Dew out for my homies who have assuredly ended themselves, cut off from their virtual machine gunning and karate kicking.
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Massive Amount Of ‘Modern Warfare 3’ Details Leaked.
You have to hand it to Kotaku, they’re riding the Modern Warfare 3 tip hard. Deep and hard! They’ve gathered up an obscene amount of details from various sources, no doubt working deep undercover. Which means uh, typing emails and talking to people or the such.
We’ll all get to experience it on November 8, the title’s release date.
Hit the jump for details and images.
Check Out Diablo III’s Enchantress, Templar, and Scoundrel!
It’s almost as though Blizzard has heard my fucking prayers. A couple of days after lamenting my boredom with WoW, my anxiety with SW:TOR, and my desire for Diablo III, the motherfuckers have dropped this video on my lap. Check out the enchantress, templar, and scoundrel. They ain’t new classes, no sir. They’re the Diablo III equivalent of its predecessor’s mercenary.
Fucking rock.
Hit the jump to check out the video.
Square Enix Suffered ‘Extraordinary Losses’ The Last Fiscal Year.
And a thousand thunders uttered the words “Square Enix lost a fucking shitload of money last year!” Can you imagine how loud that shit is? Anyways, Square Enix has sent out a revised forecast for the fiscal results from last year, and they’re total raw ass.
New ‘Mass Effect 3’ Details From The Exec Producer!
Even though it’s been fucking delayed and consequently crushed my heart, there’s new Mass Effect 3 details. These fucking details are courtesy of the executive producer of the series, Casey Hudson. Hit the jump for the deets, though they may be called spoilers if you’re a fucking assholes.
Microsoft Buys Skype; Now We Can Wank On Xbox Live!
Microsoft has bought Skype for a ridiculously enormous amount of money. I may be the only human being alive who has never used Skype, nor has had any urge to. However, with this recent acquisition I am hoping I’ll be able to seamlessly masturbate in video messages for assholes who rip me up in Black Ops.
Here’s Some ‘Modern Warfare 3’ Rumors En Masse!
I’ve come to love the yearly installments of Call of Duty. I realize that a yearly game means heavy duty franchise milking, perhaps a hit to innovation, and other deleterious bullshit. However, there’s something comforting about being able to look forward to a new installment every year, being able to put a pin on a calendar and know I’ll get something I’ll love. It’s because of this comfort that I’m sweating this year’s Modern Warfare 3, despite Infinity Ward getting blowed-ups and MW3 getting did courtesy of thirty-five different studios.
Today, Kotaku had some pretty serious rumors/impressions regarding MW3.
World of Warcraft Sees Cataclysmic Drop In Subscriptions.
World of Warcraft used to be my fucking jam. Now it’s old, man. Cataclysm barely held my interest, and the friends I hang with feel the same way. Apparently we’re not alone. WoW is shedding subscribers like a motherfucker.
Diablo III Getting A Beta This Summer. Hell Yes!
Now that I’ve officially transitioned into fully not giving a fuck about WoW, again, I’ve turned my eyes longingly towards Diablo III. You see, the latest WoW expansion couldn’t keep me giving a fuck nearly as much as the previous one, which couldn’t hold my attention as much as the previous one, et cetera, et cetera. Decreasing returns of interest. So it’s up to the sequel to my original Blizzard love to keep my online grinding glands glazed.
Hopefully in the beta this summer.
Nintendo’s New Console Will Be At E3, Playable ‘By Everyone.’
Well, son of a bitch! Just add another thing to the list of reasons why I’d sell a good pint of my liqui-children to a bank or two for the opportunity to go to E3. Nintendo has confirmed their new console will be there, and people who are attending will get to play it.
