There’s Mass Effect  shiz dropping into Final Fantasy XIII-2-Cash-Grab-Grande, and it makes my knob twitch. It’s a common known fact that N7 armor from Mass Effect  puts me into gadget-future-porn rapture, even when its been crammed into a franchise I’ve rolled into my cat’s litter box and scratched grit over.

Hit the jump to behold.

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Don Draper is constantly trying to turn that frown upside down these days. Shit has gotten real  for the Totem of the American Dream on the show, and usually we just get to watch our heartthrob brood and make bad decisions. Our helplessness is about to be mitigated to an extent with this free video game, which allows us to help him get his shit together.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Here’s a new congressman to add to your list of astoundadouches: Joe Baca. The good sir who wants to include health warnings  on every single video game. Every single one. It is a charge that he’s carried through the years, and is once again taking up. Excelsior!

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Looks like those out there will have closure on the end of Mass Effect 3.   This press release comes from BioWare co-founder Ray Muzyka.   It pretty much confirms that DLC will pick up where the very brief ending left off.     Check out the jump for more.

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The ferocity with which some fans yearn for ‘traditional’ survival horror from the Resident Evil series often blinds us to just how diverse a series it has managed to become. Throughout its history we have seen it shift to a more contemporary, action-centric pace with Resident Evil 5, have seen it re-interpreted as a lightgun shooter with Darkside Chronicles and now, we see Operation Raccoon City recalling the often forgotten co-op experience of Resident Evil: Outbreak. At first, the idea of setting a team-based, 3^rd person tactical shooter within the Resident Evil universe may seem a little jarring, but when you consider the breadth of the series so far, it doesn’t seem that odd after all.

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Man, BioWare is doing some serious soul searching. Hot off the gigantic dump (actually not too big, just a dungeon and a town) that was Dragon Age 2  and the cataclysmic reaction to Mass Effect 3‘s ending, the company is asking their fans what to do with the Dragon Age  franchise. Is this awesome…or just sort of aimless and sad?

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I’m not going to stunt. Just like latex porn and obesity, World of Warcraft  always calls me back. Always. So say what I will about the forthcoming expansion, “Misty Crotch Furry Jizz” (working title), I’m going to play it. Blizzard has seen fit to remind me of my hopelessness with these new trailers, which I laugh at, while crying that I’ll be Day 1-ing.

Hit the jump for the trailers.

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The minds of the people have not been fully  anesthetized    yet, and that’s a problem. We’re getting fat, and wearing our fancy goggles, but we haven’t been fully claimed. Microsoft is working its asses off to up the Docile Consumer quotient, and god help them they may pull it off. Full-on gaming helmet.

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Ken Levine and the rest of the team have revealed BioShock: Infinite‘s third heavy hitter: the Boys of Silence. A creepy deformed roaming analog of the original’s camera system. Fucking awesome.

Hit the jump to check them out.

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I don’t give a fuck about Shenmue  or its sequel. I don’t. I know that deducts like, a zillion space-bucks from my e-peen, but whatever. So this news doesn’t do anything for me. However, there’s a lot of people that are going to be simultaneously joyous and apopleptic about this shit. If the rumors in the streets are true, Sega has been sitting on HD versions of Shenmue 1&2  for a year. Biding their time. Waiting.

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