The WWE is rolling out all sorts of secret weapons lately. First they brought back Brock “It Hurts When You Really Punch” Lesnar. Now they’ve got Mike “Your Flesh Is Delicious” all up in their next game.

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Jambo!

After being dead for ten months, it feels amazing to walk the Earth again. To feel the carpet beneath my toes, to bear hug loved ones, to booze in the fellowship of my ka-tet. These are the moments that the universe is pushing us towards, the acknowledgment of those simple pleasures that can only be appreciated when our spirits and minds are where they’re supposed to be.

`Cause let me tell ya, there’s nothing worse than being a poltergeist. I’ve been there. Roaming about, looking for a place to say, nothing more than a broken spirit relegated to brief appearances and disruptive dispositions. I’ve been that figure that people’re surprised to see, and not always pleasantly so.

It might be a perfect way to be dead, but it’s no way to live.

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Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! I’m going to show you some of the various ways I’ll be entertainin’ myself during the week. After scoping out my wares, it’s your task to make your presence known in the rumble pit known as the comments section. What movies, comics, beverages, albums, and activities are you lookin’ forward to rockin’?

Let’s do this!

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Ah, EA’s chief wunder-monster is trying to rally those of us Dead Space fans who point out that open-world action shooters aren’t what we want in an installment of the franchise. Unfortunately the shithead tips his hand when he drops the ubiquitous buzzword of the generation.

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Here we go! Put your boots on and prepare for the deluge cascading out of this leaked 56-page document detailing the Xbox 720. We got a price point, Kinect 2, some AR glasses, and more. Ain’t nothing more fun than corporate memos falling into the wrong (right?) hands.

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Do you care about Star Wars: World of Sithcraft? I don’t. Would you care about it if it was free?

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The Wii U was almost scrapped because of price concerns over the insipid tablet-as-controller. It would have been a total shame. Pseudo-innovation is where it’s (not) at.

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This cosplay takes one of my favorite video games from childhood and dribbles a strange but approved taste of eroticism all over it. Now I finally get the impetus for saving the old hag.

Diablo 3 is going to be rocking out in retinal display on the new MacBook Pro. I don’t exactly know what the absurd resolution looks like, I just know I want it.

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Now shit, if this was dropping for the Wii U all of a sudden I’d give a fuck.

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Probably way late with this, but I don’t care. I do what I want! Come at me! Take that knife in lodge it in my soul, I will devour it and proclaim myself king. Oh uh what? Yeah, Borderlands 2 screens. I can’t wait for this game.

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