#Video Games
No Duh: ‘Borderlands 3’ happening, being made exclusively for next-gen
Borderlands! My fucking favorite. And this really isn’t news per say, but I’m going to be excited about Randy Pitchford confirming that Borderlands 3 is really happening. Like duh! But let my dong go swole.
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‘LEGO Jurassic World’ Game Teaser Trailer: LEGO T-Rex gives no f**ks
Not much to this teaser trailer for LEGO Jurassic World. But I imagine it’s enough to get those of You Folks who Get Excited for LEGO Games to…yeah, get excited and such.
‘Grand Theft Auto 5’ has sold 45 Million Copies. HELL OF A HEIST LOL.
I played through Grand Theft Auto V during Winter Break, and it threatened to steal my soul. What started off as oh okay this is a game turned into I never want to leave Michael, Franklin, and Trevor. Ever! Fuck you, Mom! These pants aren’t dirty, they’re loved-in. And then they had to “force me to take my meds” and “make me well.” Whatever.
‘Final Fantasy 15’ Gameplay Demo: Cat…On The Town?
Yo. Final Fantasy 15. Ya’ll coming along, or are your makers too busy playing around as a fucking cat? Goddamn Internet Cat Fever has struck even the franchise, as evidenced this Taipei Game Show demo for the game. Or maybe not really a demo. Just the Developer Folks showing off a city. Via feline focus.
Sony sells Sony Online Entertainment, them folks behind ‘Everquest’
Sony has sold the branch of their company that produced, most importantly, The Matrix Online. And some other game called Everquest or some shit. The rebranded company is getting OBVIOUS METAPHOR AS FUCK and renaming themselves Daybreak Game Company.
Sony teases ‘Metal Gear Rising 2’, so maybe I should play the first?
Oh word?! Metal Gear Rising Raiden: The Devil May Cry Chronicles is getting a sequel! Interesting. I didn’t ever get down with the original Metal Gear Rising. Wasn’t a conscious decision to ignore the game, though. In fact, more than one friend was all “bruh, stop stroking it to promo stills of The Rock from Furious 6 and check this game out.”
‘The Order: 1886’ Gameplay Video: Steampunk Shotgun Carnival Ride
New gameplay video for The Order: 1886 out of Sony Japan. It’s featuring the shotgun, which for many years was my favorite device for dealing polygonal destruction. It has been recently usurped by the silent sting, the BOW.
LEGO announces ‘Jurassic World’ and ‘Avengers’ games
This is going to make a lot of people happy. A lot. And while I don’t generally fuck with LEGO games (not out of a dislike, just, you know, so many games, so little time), I can totally see myself snagging LEGO Avengers.
‘The Witcher: Wild Hunt’ Gameplay Video: Blood & Bowman
I’ll be honest. I skip around when it comes to watching gameplay videos. But shit like this still interests me. I missed out on the second Witcher, despite good friends rubbing their balls earnestly to it. Over the pants, c’mon, obviously, ew, gross.
