Torchwood: Children of Earth snuck up on me a couple of years ago. After copious recommendations I decided to blind buy the motherfucker and see what was up. Despite not knowing anything about the franchise (a spin-off of Doctor Who), by the end of the first episode Mrs. Caffeine Powered and I were hooked. So when I heard there was going to be more Wood coming by way, I did a little hardening of my own. The trailer dropped a couple of days ago, and it does nothing less than make me descend into fanboy madness.

Hit the jump to check out the trailer.

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I miss Eddie James Olmos and his utter and unrepentanting ownage as motherfuckin’ Billy Adama, savior of the human race. Oh Battlestar, how I weep for you when no one is looking. Good news!, for my pathetic ass. Motherfucking Edward James Olmos is joining a pretty outrageous cast for the next season of Dexter.

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So long, Viserys. I’m glad to see that in the end you finally got that crown you were constantly whining about. You have to admit though, Viserys went from being a total prick when we first met him to just plain pathetic right before they pour gold all over his head. I wouldn’t call it tragic, but he’s been told since he was five years old that the he would be king – a “dragon.” Watching a crowd chant the name of his sister’s unborn prince – Rhaego – was his tipping point. Ah, well. The crowning scene was beautifully brutal nonetheless.

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More than any other episode thus far, “The Wolf and the Lion” feature moments that did not occur in the book. While some fans may turn their nose up at this, I think it’s been the only way to present some of the character backgrounds and relationships penned by George R.R. Martin. Writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have been doing an excellent job at adapting Martin’s rich tomes and this episode prominently displays their understanding of the material. The great scene between Robert and Cersei is a perfect example of this. It never happens in the books, but it makes sense on the screen and allows newbie viewers a deep look into how things work in the Seven Kingdoms.

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The folks at Art of the Title interviewed Angus Wall of Elastic, the creative group that designed the incredible cartographic orgasm that is the Game of Thrones title sequence – as well as several other HBO intros. Check out the interview here.

It’s been so long that the continual sour taste of True Blood has been washed out of my mouth. As the proprietor of a weekly True Blood re-cap, I’m going to watch this season regardless of whether or not it’s good. I have a fucking gig! However, I did find the trailer exciting. It’s got Alcide and Jessica looking all hot as fuck, some vampire fighting action time stuff, and it’s actually humors at moments.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Go fucking figure! The abortion known as the ‘Wonder Woman’ pilot has been officially axed. It makes sense considering there wasn’t a day of filming that wasn’t ridiculed and smash-fucked by the fanboys all over the internet. Like me!

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Hold up. Who the hell is Theon Greyjoy? For those who haven’t read the books, the abrupt appearance of Theon may have been confusing – especially since visually he could pass for one of the Stark boys. For those who may have missed some of Tyrion’s exposition concerning Theon:

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Despite Cat’s disdain for a bastard in their family, it’s hard to deny the awesomeness of Jon Snow. He’s one of my favorite characters in the book and now on the show as well. The setting of the Wall helps a lot – it’s such an interesting and eerie place situated at the end of a haunted forest. This forest seems deadly still but if it deems guarding by the Night’s Watch – people who (sometimes unwillingly) sacrifice their entire lives to protect this Wall – then you know shit can go down at any minute. Benjen tells Tyrion a lot about these unnameable horrors beyond the Wall, like big fucking bears. Oh my! And of course there’s the White Walkers who made an appearance in the beginning of the pilot. They’ll come into play shortly and they’re some scary pricks.

Lots of exposition in “Lord Snow” – especially backstory concerning Jaime Lannister and how he earned his epic nickname “Kingslayer.” In the sleazy manner of stabbing the king in the back, natch. Actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau plays the smug asshole perfectly. I wanted Ned to bitch slap him with a glove during the scene in the throne room. Him and his unscathed armor. Pssshhht. During the small council, Ned learns how utterly fucked the kingdom’s financial situation is. “Counting copper,” they call it. Despite the issue, Robert demands a tournament be held in celebration of Ned’s appointment as Hand of the King. Ned’s new role, however, doesn’t give him the power to prevent royal spending on crap like tourneys. His frustration with King’s Landing continues to grow.

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WELCOME TO THE   MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! FUGG YEAH, BOI!

Whoa. Sorry, I just lost my mind for a bit. Can you blame me though, life’s damn wonderful! Worth getting psyched up for! Also, I’ve been pounding caffeine all afternoon, so I scream in the irrational belief that it’ll keep my heart pumping.

Anyways. Posted on Monday evenings by a dude with less than fifteen minutes on his daily commute, this is the weekly show-and-tell at OL. I show you the bits of trivial nonsense I’ll use to numb the sting of indentured servitude. Then, like a good little doobie, you hit up the comments and tell me what you’re up to.

A failure to comply will result in the destruction of your homeworld. The Planet Smasher has been summoned. Don’t test me.

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